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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    67

    Talking What is the funniest spam you received?

    Aren't we all victim of this never ending spam?
    I think its funny to take the most stupid/funny mails from it
    and post them here
    I cant find a funny one but I do have a very dumb one:
    I have visited www.-cut-.com and noticed that your website is not listed on some search engines. I am sure that through our service the number of people who visit your website will definitely increase. SeekerCenter is a unique technology that instantly submits your website to over 500,000 search engines and directories -- a really low-cost and effective way to advertise your site. For more details please go to SeekerCenter.net.
    The stupid thing of this is my site is perfectly indexed
    Anyway, I cant wait to hear your funniest and/or dumbest spam

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Location
    Posts
    452
    People read their spam messages? Usually I just skim the "From" field, and if I don't know them.... *delete*.
    Common sense isn't so common.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    67
    Sometimes spam is pretty smart and fakes regular things and spamfilters filter good things too sometimes.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    1,198
    Whenever you received spam, contact Data Centre
    Quote, "Google is your best friend!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    67
    Hmm data centre... sounds like an organisation.
    But I fall under the Dutch law so I dont know if things like that are an option

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    902
    If it looks like spam I delete it.. I dont bother to read it.
    Randall J. Berry
    The aliens tipped Mrs. O'Leary's cow.

  7. #7
    Most dumb spam... I have seen a lot but I'd have to say that the most dumb spam I got was:

    "New! Winserver2003 on sale."
    IWDN - Really smart web developers... and me!
    More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads.
    One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction.
    Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Ottawa
    Posts
    959
    Originally posted by Frash
    Hmm data centre... sounds like an organisation.
    But I fall under the Dutch law so I dont know if things like that are an option
    By data center they mean the datacenter from where the spam was sent .
    Do a traceroute and look to see which organization is 1 or two hops from the end IP and contact them .
    That being said the best spam I got was a nigerian 419 scam , very professionally done with link to the BBC confirming death of person , etc.
    It was very professional compared to the typicall all caps ones .
    I passed that one around (indicating that it was a scam incase some one thought it was real) to my friends and we all had a good laugh .

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,027
    i get so many "search engine" spam messages that i made a whole new folder for them...

    Hello.
    85% of all Internet surfers are directed by search engines. Search Engines are the super powerful traffic solution on the Internet.
    Your web site: http://www.phision.com

    can be evaluated for FREE for its keyword placement in the top twenty major search engines. By evaluate, we mean taking the search words that are important to your web site and checking the results of those words in the top twenty search engines to determine your web site's placement within those results. We will create a report that displays the results, and then a professional evaluator will look at your site to see if there is any 'search engine hostile' content. This valuable service is simply free for you as our gift.To take part in our free offer, simply click the link below:
    http://www.ghettorequest.com/form_s.html

    I think you will be very surprised by the detail and results of our analysis.

    If you wish to be removed from this list, please click here: http://www.ghettopalace.net/remove.p...omcouriers.com
    - Andrea Silver
    World Wide Attractions




    Hello.
    85% of all Internet surfers are directed by search engines. Search Engines are the super powerful traffic solution on the Internet.
    Your web site: http://www.phision.com

    can be evaluated for FREE for its keyword placement in the top twenty major search engines. By evaluate, we mean taking the search words that are important to your web site and checking the results of those words in the top twenty search engines to determine your web site's placement within those results. We will create a report that displays the results, and then a professional evaluator will look at your site to see if there is any 'search engine hostile' content. This valuable service is simply free for you as our gift.To take part in our free offer, simply click the link below:
    http://www.xeropro.biz/form_s.html

    I think you will be very surprised by the detail and results of our analysis.

    If by some misunderstanding we sent this email, click reply and type 'take away' in the subject line.
    - Melissa Harding
    Extreme Monitoring



    Hi,

    I visited www.phision.com,

    and noticed that you're not listed on some search engines! I would like to introduce to you an affordable service where we can help enhance your online presence globally.

    Search engine submission is an integral part of the success of your web site. Building a web presence means more than just having the right keywords. We offer a star solution that will produce guaranteed results. Our unique search engine positioning technology helps submit your website to over 300,000 search engines and directories every month. It takes only minutes to sign up for our service.

    Do let me know how I may assist you better with gaintrafficfast.com!

    Best Regards,
    Sharon Brown

    "Yes! We can help you get listed on these search engines and more!"





    Sales and Marketing
    E-mail: sharon_brown@gaintrafficfast.com
    http://www.gaintrafficfast.com




    Hi,

    I visited www.phision.com, and noticed that you're not listed
    on some search engines! I would like to introduce to you an affordable
    service where we can help enhance your business' global online presence
    and increase the number of visitors to your website.

    Our unique technology at http://www.gaintrafficfast.com/index.html
    submits your website to over 300,000 search engines and directories
    every month.

    You'll be surprised how simple it is to now reach out to an international
    market and increase the visibility of your products and services, at a low
    cost to you.

    Why not visit us at http://www.gaintrafficfast.com/index.html
    and let us help you direct traffic your way?

    I look forward to hearing from you!

    Best Regards,
    Sharon Brown
    Sales and Marketing
    E-mail: sharon_brown@gaintrafficfast.com
    http://www.gaintrafficfast.com



    Hi

    I visited WWW.PHISION.COM, and noticed that you're not listed on some search engines! I think we can offer you a service which can help you increase traffic and the number of visitors to your website.

    I would like to introduce you to Trafficmagnet.com. We offer a unique technology that will submit your website to over 300,000 search engines and directories every month.



    You'll be surprised by the low cost, and by how effective this website promotion method can be.

    To find out more about TrafficMagnet and the cost for submitting your website to over 300,000 search engines and directories, visit www.trafficmagnet.com.

    I would love to hear from you.


    Best Regards,

    Sarah Williams
    Sales and Marketing
    E-mail: sarah_williams@tm-hosting.com
    http://www.trafficmagnet.com




    Hello.
    85% of all Internet surfers are directed by search engines. Search Engines are the super powerful traffic solution on the Internet.
    Your web site: http://www.phision.com

    can be evaluated for FREE for its keyword placement in the top twenty major search engines. By evaluate, we mean taking the search words that are important to your web site and checking the results of those words in the top twenty search engines to determine your web site's placement within those results. We will create a report that displays the results, and then a professional evaluator will look at your site to see if there is any 'search engine hostile' content. This valuable service is simply free for you as our gift.To take part in our free offer, simply click the link below:
    http://www.ziztech.com/form_s.html

    I think you will be very surprised by the detail and results of our analysis.

    If by some misunderstanding we sent this email, click reply and type 'take away' in the subject line.
    - Shelley Gold
    Complete Winning
    ...those are what's left in there before i do my weekly purge...
    Gone.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Mother Earth
    Posts
    84
    Its got to be these god damned africans that tell me they will give me $200,000,000.00 dollars if I give them my entire credit card, bank info and copies of my entire identification scanned and notorized.
    Submit your web site to our webmaster directory for FREE:

    http://www.snuka.com

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    1,306
    I noticed a poem hidden between the lines of mine to probably fool the filters

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    273
    I couldn't find a copy of it..

    But I was sent a SPAM about, not getting spam and buying some propietary filtering software.. (think it was like $20)

    I thought that was funny cause it's a oxymoron..

    Other then that the hosting spam is funny, when your in the hosting business.. ;P

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Washington State, USA
    Posts
    690
    I have a special spam indexing system, this way if I should ever have a need for say....viagra? I just click on a folder and have many options available.

    Ryan Porter, Owner
    Extreme Internet Solutions
    Quality Hosting Solutions -- Affordable Prices
    Providing Fabulous Hosting and Unreal Web Design! Excellence is our focus.

  14. #14
    I'd have to say the most hilarious spam I have gotten wasn't actually one..but two. Some person sent me one spam asking me if I needed breast implants. The same person then sends me another spam about 10 minutes later asking me if I needed a penis enlargement. What the hell do they think I am, a transvesite with a small penis? Heh. =/

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    129
    I think the oddest spam I ever got was for a "virtual sigmoidoscopy" CD. Explore the inside of diseased colons from the convenience of your own computer.

    I also get spam for septic tank products on a regular basis.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    67
    Most of my spam is about my 'manhood' lol

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    375
    I get the make your member larger ones, or prescription pills alot.

    THE BEST, BY FAR THOUGH

    Is the ones with the lesbians that want you, but only for a limited time.
    -DPI
    Chicago's #1 Datacenter Technician

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Mother Earth
    Posts
    84
    Greetings and Salutations O'Illustrius One,

    I was refered to your email from a trusted business contact. I am Senior General Prince Aunt Jajooba Mukhar Abdul Lesotho, sun of the late King Marium Albaca Boogerstein Biddybibe the 1st. We need to transfer a deposit of $17,500,000.00 where you keep %18. You must pay a security fee of $15,000.00 to release the funds. Please begin by sending color digital scans of all your identification so we confirm you name and information for the transfer. We will also need all your banking transfer information.

    -Wooo WHo Im gonna be rich! YES!
    Submit your web site to our webmaster directory for FREE:

    http://www.snuka.com

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Wichita, KS
    Posts
    36
    I get ones w/ the oddest filler text between the ads. I'll have to grab one at work and post it up.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Mother Earth
    Posts
    84
    I am waiting for the spammers to come out with...

    Penis Enlargement Incense.
    Weight Loss Incense.
    Premature Ejaculation Incense.

    Because I dont like the pills.
    Submit your web site to our webmaster directory for FREE:

    http://www.snuka.com

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    67
    OFFICE OF THE CHAIRMAN
    CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTE
    ECOWAS HEADQUARTERS
    LOME,REPUBLIC OF TOGO.

    Dear,Sir


    ACCOUNT PROVISION FOR USD10.MILLION
    Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and
    if it might offend you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.
    I am MR.George Allin,The Chairman,Contract Awarding Committee of the
    ECONOMIC COMMUNITY OF WEST AFRICAN STATES ( ECOWAS)with Headquarters
    in Lome, Togo.I got your information in a business directory from the
    Togolaise Chamber of Commerce and Industries when I was searching for a reliable,honest and trustworthy person to entrust this business with.

    I was simply inspired and motivated to pick your contact from the many names and lists in the directory.
    After discussing my view and your profile with my colleagues,they were
    very much satisfied and decided to contact you immediately for this
    mutual business relationship.We wish to transfer the sum of(TEN Million
    United States Dollars only.)into your personal or company`s bank account.
    This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by
    us for the supply of ammunitions,hard/soft wares,phamaceauticals/medical items,light and heavy duty vehicles,
    apperals and other administrative logistics etc for the ECOMOG in Sierria-Leone and Liberia during the Peace Keeping Projects.
    This DEAL was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected with all
    the attendant lope holes sealed off.As the secretary of CAC,I have the cooperation and mandate of the Financial Director of the
    Organisation.We arranged and over invoiced the contract funds supplied
    by different companies from different countries during the crisis.

    It was our consensus to seek the assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to transfer this money out of West Africa.
    This is borne out of our beleif in the non-stable and sporous political nature of this sub-region.
    The original contractors have been duely paid by the Banque Centrale Des Etats De L`Afrique De L`Ouest (Central Bank of the West African
    States)through our bankers-Societe Generale Banque.
    This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting claims by any foreign company of our choice.
    We intend to pay out this fund NOW as the
    organisation is winding up its activities since the aim of returning
    PEACE to the countries and the coast has been achieved.

    Based on the laws and ethics of employment,we as civil servants working
    under this organisation, are not allowed to operate a foreign account.

    This is the more reason why we needed your assistance to provide an account that can sustain this fund for safe keeping and our
    future investment with your comprehensive advise,assistance
    and partnership in your country.
    It is however agreed,as the account owner in this deal to allow you 25%
    of the entire sum as compensation, 65% will be held on trust for us
    while 10% will be used to defray any incidental charges and cost during the course of the transaction.
    This transaction will be successfully concluded within 14 days if you
    accord us your unalloyed and due cooperation.You should provide the followings:

    YOUR COMPANY`S NAME WITH COMPLETE ADDRESS,TEL
    AND FAX NUMBERS.(if available)
    THE NAME OF YOUR BANK,ITS ADDRESS WITH TEL,FAX
    AND TELEX NUMBERS.THE ACCOUNT NUMBER

    THE COMPLETE MAILING ADRRESS OF THE BENEFICIARY WITH TELEPHONE AND FAX
    NUMBERS.

    Upon the receipt of this informations,the documents and approval with the texts will be sent to you for confirmaton and then
    forwarded to the organisation for ratification and subsequent payment.

    As with the case of all organised (sensitive)and conspired DEALS,we solicit for your unreserved confidentiality and utmost secret in this business.
    We hope to retire peacefully and lead a honourable business life afterwards.There are no risks involved.

    REPLY ASAP.
    With regards,
    MR.George Allin
    The Chairman,Contract Awarding Committee.
    I think thats spam + a free scam

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    375
    Yeah, those emails were on court tv not to long ago...One big scam. Identity theft. And we all know, there's no money like that coming from Lome, Togo.
    -DPI
    Chicago's #1 Datacenter Technician

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
    Posts
    946
    This is the funniest I have received. Just got it this morning.

    Hi Patrick,

    Happy Holidays!

    I called up Mike Chen to talk about my next marketing move and he
    laughed at me.

    That didn't stop me though...

    I'm still practically giving away over $798 worth of stuff...

    Click below to find out why, and to see if there's any more
    left...

    http://www.-removed-.com/special/em.php?1

    It's crazy!

    Dale

    Dale Woodland

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