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  #1  
Old 11-20-2010, 11:51 PM
royalduke royalduke is offline
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Girl Help?


Thought I'd ask the WHT community for girl advice, since my experience is none, pretty much.

I love this girl in my university history class. She sits across from me and I can't help but love her even though we barley talked. Anyways, I told her friends and stuff about my liking of her and they tried to help me. Then, she found out about me from my FB wall when one of our mutual friends pointed out one of my wall posts with a comment that made it really obvious (I didn't make it). Anyways, she confronted one of her friends (I was friendly with her too) and anyways, they told me about it.

Today, in FB I saw her on and told her sorry. She said that she didn't like how I told her friends and made everything awkward for them. After all my sorry comments, I asked her about my feelings towards her. She said that she didn't feel the same. I asked her why, she said we were different but she didn't go into specifics. Anyways, I asked bout if time went by and stuff, she didn't say much, I forgot what she said. But anyways, I pretty much became depressed and let her know that I felt low as garbage. She said, I shouldn't and that she was flattered by me (I said some great things about her, on my FB without names of course). I cried after all this, yeah I am a guy and I cried (I'm 16 and this is in high school class).

How can I change her mind or whatever? How should I act around her now?

We have one class together and we have group work together tomorrow and stuff and I want to know how to act and stuff, but I want her to say yes or start liking me. How should I act around her? How can I make her like me?

Please help, I don't think there is any other girl in the world as her, she is perfect.

PS: She doesn't talk much in class, so creating conversation is hard but anyways, I just want to avoid her and stuff but please help. She said that out chat in FB will help decrease or just remove the awkwardness. I asked her if we could hangout and stuff, she thought it wouldn't be a good idea, she said we see each other in class though.

We talked today on FB and I asked her about an assignment and I think she got annoyed, she said "thanks for the stats" when I mentioned one of my friends already completing it and one of hers that started it. I send her a sorry message by FB.

So yeah, I know this is a bit unprofessional and I know that this isn't not romance forum. But I seriously would like some advice from expereince people here, I know there are married members, members in relationships, and even members who were in a situation like mine (someh what), I want some help.

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  #2  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:07 AM
jordanriane jordanriane is offline
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You don't love her. It's as simple as that. You just lust for her.

That being said: If she already said she was not interested in you, don't keep pushing her to like you back. Not only that but she also said that she doesn't think hanging out would be a good idea. She's already told you she's not interested so don't fabricate a relationship between the two of you to grasp onto.

You're very young and very malleable. You need to realize that this isn't going to work out no matter how "perfect" you think she is. I don't know how you even think she's perfect if you've barely even talked to her! So yeah, there ARE other girls like her. You just need to "move" on from whatever you're feeling right now, take some time for yourself to live and learn. Then actually get the courage to TALK to a girl to get to know her and go from that.

So stop stalking her. Remove her from Facebook and limit your conversations in class/school.

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  #3  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:19 AM
victor-t victor-t is offline
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I am a little confused..first you said this was in university history class, but then you said you're 16 and this is high school?

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  #4  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:23 AM
royalduke royalduke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jordanriane View Post
You don't love her. It's as simple as that. You just lust for her.

That being said: If she already said she was not interested in you, don't keep pushing her to like you back. Not only that but she also said that she doesn't think hanging out would be a good idea. She's already told you she's not interested so don't fabricate a relationship between the two of you to grasp onto.

You're very young and very malleable. You need to realize that this isn't going to work out no matter how "perfect" you think she is. I don't know how you even think she's perfect if you've barely even talked to her! So yeah, there ARE other girls like her. You just need to "move" on from whatever you're feeling right now, take some time for yourself to live and learn. Then actually get the courage to TALK to a girl to get to know her and go from that.

So stop stalking her. Remove her from Facebook and limit your conversations in class/school.
Thanks, some of my more experience friends said to give her space and such. I don't think of her like THAT as in lust, I think I'd know. I think she is very cute and as long as I am in school with her, I won't be happy with anyone else, at least that's my mentality.

I am just uncertain, now that I think about it, I am trying to force her to like me...

Oh yeah, wtf... I just wrote, I am 16 -.- Which I am not, no wonder no one seems to be taking it seriously... I'm well over 16, no lie. Darn misstep but I will admit, I did shed a few tears. I never felt like that before in my life, heck, I've seen some really really good looking women but she was like wow. My guy friends didn't think that though.

But anyways, I would like more input on this is possible.

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  #5  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:26 AM
royalduke royalduke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VC-Victor View Post
I am a little confused..first you said this was in university history class, but then you said you're 16 and this is high school?
I made a mistake on that. I changed my age around because I asked this question at Yahoo Answers and didn't want to be penalized for asking the same thing (they give 1 or 2 input and usually it stinks). So yeah, please do ignore that, but I guess you all know that I'm in my tens.

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  #6  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:35 AM
h4wk h4wk is offline
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Posts: 1,270
Quote:
Originally Posted by royalduke View Post
Thought I'd ask the WHT community for girl advice, since my experience is none, pretty much.

I love this girl in my university history class. She sits across from me and I can't help but love her even though we barley talked. Anyways, I told her friends and stuff about my liking of her and they tried to help me. Then, she found out about me from my FB wall when one of our mutual friends pointed out one of my wall posts with a comment that made it really obvious (I didn't make it). Anyways, she confronted one of her friends (I was friendly with her too) and anyways, they told me about it.

Today, in FB I saw her on and told her sorry. She said that she didn't like how I told her friends and made everything awkward for them. After all my sorry comments, I asked her about my feelings towards her. She said that she didn't feel the same. I asked her why, she said we were different but she didn't go into specifics. Anyways, I asked bout if time went by and stuff, she didn't say much, I forgot what she said. But anyways, I pretty much became depressed and let her know that I felt low as garbage. She said, I shouldn't and that she was flattered by me (I said some great things about her, on my FB without names of course). I cried after all this, yeah I am a guy and I cried (I'm 16 and this is in high school class).

How can I change her mind or whatever? How should I act around her now?

We have one class together and we have group work together tomorrow and stuff and I want to know how to act and stuff, but I want her to say yes or start liking me. How should I act around her? How can I make her like me?

Please help, I don't think there is any other girl in the world as her, she is perfect.

PS: She doesn't talk much in class, so creating conversation is hard but anyways, I just want to avoid her and stuff but please help. She said that out chat in FB will help decrease or just remove the awkwardness. I asked her if we could hangout and stuff, she thought it wouldn't be a good idea, she said we see each other in class though.

We talked today on FB and I asked her about an assignment and I think she got annoyed, she said "thanks for the stats" when I mentioned one of my friends already completing it and one of hers that started it. I send her a sorry message by FB.

So yeah, I know this is a bit unprofessional and I know that this isn't not romance forum. But I seriously would like some advice from expereince people here, I know there are married members, members in relationships, and even members who were in a situation like mine (someh what), I want some help.
I made the same mistake before. You need to talk to her before and create conversation before you can express you feeling. It is weird if you tell someone you like them before they know. No wonder she said she doesn't have the same feelings. You might be moving too fast. You first need to engage with the women and talk with her. Even if she doesn't talk much. If a women interested in you she will continue the conversation. Appearance is also every important all ladies like a six pack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalduke View Post
Thanks, some of my more experience friends said to give her space and such. I don't think of her like THAT as in lust, I think I'd know. I think she is very cute and as long as I am in school with her, I won't be happy with anyone else, at least that's my mentality.
You won't get far with this mentality. Women are more attracted to men who have other women. Hook up with an ugly fat chick at your school so can show her that you have other choices. It will also give you experience.

  #7  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:43 AM
royalduke royalduke is offline
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I am working on the six packs and I already bought new clothing and such, and try to dress up.

Hook up? Nah, It's either her or no one at all, ever.

I will however try to act normal around her, maybe play the hard to get card. I am already cracking jokes in that class, trying to lighten up the moods of my fellow students.

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  #8  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:48 AM
Mark Muyskens Mark Muyskens is offline
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You're tossing out the L word like your obsessed already. quit it.

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  #9  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:51 AM
VPSMen VPSMen is offline
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Take it on the chin, plenty more fish in the sea :p her loss

  #10  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:57 AM
jordanriane jordanriane is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by royalduke View Post
Thanks, some of my more experience friends said to give her space and such. I don't think of her like THAT as in lust, I think I'd know. I think she is very cute and as long as I am in school with her, I won't be happy with anyone else, at least that's my mentality.

I am just uncertain, now that I think about it, I am trying to force her to like me...

Oh yeah, wtf... I just wrote, I am 16 -.- Which I am not, no wonder no one seems to be taking it seriously... I'm well over 16, no lie. Darn misstep but I will admit, I did shed a few tears. I never felt like that before in my life, heck, I've seen some really really good looking women but she was like wow. My guy friends didn't think that though.

But anyways, I would like more input on this is possible.
You need to not only give her space but get over her. She's not interested in you and she's already told you. Stop kidding yourself into thinking that space will make her like you. You're fabricating to yourself about why you think you like her.

You've never really talked to her, correct? So you think she's cute but.. that's it? There's more to "love" then thinking someone is cute. That's why you are not in love with her at all no matter how you try to spin it.

I just think you need to spend some time to yourself to figure out who YOU are and then worry about having a relationship with a female. You obviously have a lot to learn about yourself as well as trusting yourself to have the courage to speak to a woman. Feeling like "that" when you've never even really talked to her just tells me that you've got some issues to be worked out.

So like I said, stop stalking her on Facebook (remove her!) and just keep yourself occupied with hobbies or work. No need to waste your time staying "in love" with someone that a.) doesn't like you, b.) you've never even gotten to know!

Quote:
Originally Posted by h4wk View Post
You won't get far with this mentality. Women are more attracted to men who have other women. Hook up with an ugly fat chick at your school so can show her that you have other choices. It will also give you experience.
Right because if I'm already not attracted (be it physically or mentally) and I tell you that I'm not interested.. you're obviously going to change my mind by 'hooking up' with an 'ugly fat chick.'

Someone has some issues...

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  #11  
Old 11-21-2010, 03:19 AM
Reseller19 Reseller19 is offline
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Location: Australia
Posts: 59
Quote:
all ladies like a six pack.
I disagree with that not all women likes a guy with a six pack. I don't like a guy that looks like a boxer or a wrestler.FYI some guys who have big muscle and really handsome and vain most of them are gays. So you should not be carried away on how a person look like.

Quote:
You're tossing out the L word like your obsessed already. quit it.
I agree you better stop stalking her she already said NO so it is much better if you just respect her decision. You will still meet other girls that is better than her and can love you in return. It is not the end of the world go out and hang out with other girls.

Girls doesn't like to be stalked.

  #12  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:02 PM
MGCJerry MGCJerry is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
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In short... Move on. You're only 16.

If someone is not interested in you, there is no point in trying to force it. Forcing it will make you look like a creep and a jackass... "He is such a creep, hes stalking me". You don't want that on facebook do you?

  #13  
Old 11-21-2010, 12:13 PM
Websites4U Websites4U is offline
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The feeling of "love" will come and go often at your age. What you feel now is lust and desire which is not love at all. Keep your head up; something better will come along that is more compatible with you and your situation.

  #14  
Old 11-21-2010, 01:17 PM
xnpu xnpu is online now
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Learn to drive before you go for a Porsche.

  #15  
Old 11-21-2010, 02:49 PM
Christian Christian is offline
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Posts: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by royalduke View Post
Thought I'd ask the WHT community for girl advice, since my experience is none, pretty much.

I love this girl in my university history class. She sits across from me and I can't help but love her even though we barley talked. Anyways, I told her friends and stuff about my liking of her and they tried to help me. Then, she found out about me from my FB wall when one of our mutual friends pointed out one of my wall posts with a comment that made it really obvious (I didn't make it). Anyways, she confronted one of her friends (I was friendly with her too) and anyways, they told me about it.

[....]

How can I change her mind or whatever? How should I act around her now?
Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you aren't 16? You are throwing around the love word like someone of that age. What you are feeling is not love, you can't possibly love someone without talking to them or really knowing them. You are in like with her, or you lust after her. There is a big difference.

Simply put you don't. Just act cool and be a friend. If it's meant to be, she will come around, but don't push the issue or act like a stalker. However, honestly, I would say don't waste your time waiting for someone who has made it clear she doesn't want to be with you. That could change over time, but there are many other fish in the sea.

I always hear the, "But we are friends, I don't want to ruin our friendship if the relationship doesn't work." Honestly, I think what makes a good relationship is having a friendship foundation first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hostestate - Mae View Post
FYI some guys who have big muscle and really handsome and vain most of them are gays.
That's a bit of a gross generalization there. I know many straight guys who are just as handsome and vain as some of my gay friends.

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