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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
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    2,585

    Morons are not just allowed, but now required by law.

    A United States Advocacy Group, Morons Be Gone, in conjunction with the House and Senate have come up with a new bill titled We Got Your Back. The bill was first thought of by a loyal member of a Web Hosting Talk website whom was tired of reading replies from morons, and decided to contact his Representative. The following is just an excerpt of the 765,432.1 page bill.

    The 'We Got Your Back' bill will become law on September 18th, 2009. It was signed by all Democrats and Independents, but surprisingly no Republicans voted on the bill. Instead all Republicans decided to start their own bill called 'We Don't have Your Back' which is slated to be debated in 2012. Or at the end of the world... whatever comes first.

    In this 765,432.1 page bill one of the most immediate effects will be the Moron Exchange. The Moron Exchange will allow any moron to sync up with any Moronic Talking Head that is currently on Radio and/or Television. In this Exchange the Government will work out a price where each Talking Head will be allowed to bill each person, although subsidized by the Government. For starters, Rush Limbaugh will be able to charge $0.50 for each Moronic statement to each Moron, where as Glenn Beck will only be allowed to charge $0.666 cents for his Moronic statements.

    If you are a Moron and are unable to afford to $0.50 or $0.666 for each Moronic Statement, you would be able to directly purchase from the Government within a week. This will be called the Moronic Option. In this Government ran option the price will be dictated by how much Keith Olberman you watch. If a level of one hour per week is not achieved you will not qualify, unless you watch CNN. Then the program will cost you 1% of your annual income, minus a 5% Democrat fee, and a 35% 'Being Alive' Fee.

    Starting on September 21, 2009 the new bill states that each Moron will not only be allowed to make Moronic Statements but they will then be required by law. If a Moron does not make a Moronic Statement he/she will be fined $1.00 a day or be forced to listen to The Mike Malloy Show on Sirius for at least 50 hours a month. During this time the Government may elect to charge you a fee consisting of 45% of your monthly income. If you are currently unemployed, the bill will feel sorry for you. The bill will start to create tears in it's eyes and tell you, "You may pass GO and you may collect your $200."

    Lastly in this 'We Got Your Back' bill, non-Morons will NOT be allowed to join Moronic Option. But will still be encouraged to be a Moron on there own. Unless they admit that Shawn Hannity is a Deity, and praise his divinity. Or admit that Lou Dobbs is the smartest person in the world, and Obama was NOT born in the United States of America.

    Lastly, the bills states that all family members of non-Morons will need to pass a Moron Test to be able to quality for the Moronic Option. They must show proof and answer this question correctly, "Is Fox news Fair and Balanced?" If the family member answers 'yes', they will immediately be accepted in the program.

    ... more information as soon as I have it! Yes.. I was bored today =)
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  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkFloydWS View Post
    A United States Advocacy Group, Morons Be Gone, in conjunction with the House and Senate have come up with a new bill titled We Got Your Back. The bill was first thought of by a loyal member of a Web Hosting Talk website whom was tired of reading replies from morons, and decided to contact his Representative. The following is just an excerpt of the 765,432.1 page bill.

    The 'We Got Your Back' bill will become law on September 18th, 2009. It was signed by all Democrats and Independents, but surprisingly no Republicans voted on the bill. Instead all Republicans decided to start their own bill called 'We Don't have Your Back' which is slated to be debated in 2012. Or at the end of the world... whatever comes first.

    In this 765,432.1 page bill one of the most immediate effects will be the Moron Exchange. The Moron Exchange will allow any moron to sync up with any Moronic Talking Head that is currently on Radio and/or Television. In this Exchange the Government will work out a price where each Talking Head will be allowed to bill each person (specify), although subsidized by the Government. For starters, Rush Limbaugh will be able to charge $0.50 for each Moronic statement to each Moron, where as Glenn Beck will only be allowed to charge $0.666 cents for his Moronic statements.

    If you are a Moron and are unable to afford to $0.50 or $0.666 for each Moronic Statement, you would be able to directly purchase (specify) from the Government within a week. This will be called the Moronic Option. In this Government ran option the price will be dictated by how much Keith Olberman you watch. If a level of one hour per week is not achieved you will not qualify, unless you watch CNN. Then the program will cost you 1% of your annual income, minus a 5% Democrat fee, and a 35% 'Being Alive' Fee.

    Starting on September 21, 2009 the new bill states that each Moron will not only be allowed to make Moronic Statements but they will then be required by law(specify). If a Moron does not make a Moronic Statement he/she will be fined $1.00 a day or be forced to listen to The Mike Malloy Show on Sirius for at least 50 hours a month. During this time the Government may elect to charge you a fee consisting of 45% of your monthly income. If you are currently unemployed, the bill will feel sorry for you. The bill will start to create tears in it's eyes and tell you, "You may pass GO and you may collect your $200."

    Lastly in this 'We Got Your Back' bill, non-Morons will NOT be allowed to join Moronic Option. But will still be encouraged to be a Moron on there own. Unless they admit that Shawn Hannity is a Deity, and praise his divinity. Or admit that Lou Dobbs is the smartest person in the world, and Obama was NOT born in the United States of America.

    Lastly, the bills states that all family members of non-Morons will need to pass a Moron Test to be able to quality for the Moronic Option. They must show proof and answer this question correctly, "Is Fox news Fair and Balanced?" If the family member answers 'yes', they will immediately be accepted in the program.

    ... more information as soon as I have it! Yes.. I was bored today =)
    I was bored too.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Lastly, the bills states that all family members of non-Morons will need to pass a Moron Test to be able to quality for the Moronic Option
    Is that a typo ? was I bored ?
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
    Posts
    2,585
    I don't know what you just replied about, I was too bored to read your reply.. eheh
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,659
    If I read that in its entirety, does that mean I was bored too?
    g.
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    Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Tech Belt
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    7,802
    I'm bored too apparently, I don't qualify for such option. DANG IT!
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