7). Take the file called "php.ini-dist", rename it to "php.ini" and move it to C:\WINDOWS\ or wherever the rest of your *.ini files live.
Take the two files "Msvcrt.dll" and "php4ts.dll", and put them in C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM\ or wherever you usually put your *.dll files. If your system tells you that you already have "Msvcrt.dll" or it's currently in use, that's fine. As long as you have it, there's no issue.
Forget about the other *.dll files.
. Optional, get mysql and install it.
9). Now you need to configure apache!
look for the file "httpd.conf" in the conf\ directory, (C:\apache\conf\httpd.conf). edit it and add these lines at the end.
How is the upload speed on your dsl line. You said that it was 2mb but, im guessing you meant downstream instead of upstream. If you have an old computer laying around just install unix/linux on it. FreeBSD would be a good OS for you to use as it is very easy to learn. Good Luck!