View Poll Results: Do you think spankings are alright?

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  • Yes, but I wouldn't do it myself

    3 5.26%
  • Yes, I'd pop my kid on the butt if he did something wrong.

    33 57.89%
  • No, its the same as abuse

    17 29.82%
  • Other

    4 7.02%
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  1. #1
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    Jan 2001
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    Physical Disciplining Children

    I recently was in a conversation with about 6 teenagers and 2 parents of teenagers discussing "Spankings". I was just wondering about the opinion of those on the board.

    Do you think spankings are alright? Do you/Would you spank your kids?
    (Spankings: A pop on the butt for doing something wrong. I'm not talking about a beating.)
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  2. #2
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    i voted no. it opens up a path in the child's mind that will most likely lead them to spank their children, which increases the risk for physical abuse...

  3. #3
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    Spanking (as defined by Rewdog) leads to abuse?

    I voted Yes. Although it really does depend on the circumstances.
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  4. #4
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    Well, I guess part of that's true. I was spanked, and I plan to spank my kids as well. I remember as a kid, it really didn't hurt, what hurt is knowing what I did wrong would make mom or dad do that to me, and it worked because I wouldn't do it anymore .
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  5. #5
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    Then they will turn around and kick you..

  6. #6
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    I believe spanking your children should be an absolute last resort and even at that it is something your should be careful with.
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  7. #7
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    I remember hitting my mom back once when I was about 8, then they took away the computer and I begged her to spank me instead
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  8. #8
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    Nov 2001
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    LOL When I was eight I didn't care if my parents took the computer. All we had was one of those IBMs where DOS had to be loaded off of a 5.5 floppy. Had two bays. One for DOS and the other for whatever program you wanted to run... I really didn't care if they took that stupid BumbleBEE math game away.
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  9. #9
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    I voted the first one. It's just not something I would do, but if others feel it is a proper method of dicipline, as long as they are within the law, I have no problem with staying out of their lives.

  10. #10
    My mom tried to spank me once. HEHEHE hasnt happened since..plus Im way taller then her. The person in my family that gets all the spankings is my sister.

  11. #11
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    Jan 2002
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    Ohio
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    Hmm... I would do it myself. So, I voted yes...

    **Rant Mode**

    My sis doesnt discipline her her children (she just to them), and he kids area always running her over...

    Parent: "Put your toys away."
    Child: "No! No! No! I put them away when <i>I</i> want to!"
    Parent: "I'm gonig to count to 3! One... Two..."
    Child: *Stands still waiting for 3...*
    Parent: "2 1/4... 2 1/2... 2 3/4."
    Child: "Shut up!" *throws a toy and gets up in parents face* "You put your toys away!"...

    God, if I ever did that as a kid, like my sisters kids do, I'd have hard time sitting down for a week... They don't spank their children so the kids are a bit rough, and it will only get worse.

    As a child, I was spanked when bad... (The corner, time-out, counting don't do any good based on what I have witnessed). I think I came out quite well. When I was in school I only received 3 referrals total (I was a good boy throughout my life in school), compared to other people getting 3 a day, or a 3 week... Referals never scared me, just the reckoning with the parents always kept me in line.

    However, if used carelessly, it could be considered abuse but it is also the "family atmosphere".

    *listenes to "Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed* hmm. I consider "abuse" present in that song, it has a "dark" tone to it...

    ** End Rant Mode **

    Ok, I'm done. I just thought I'd pitch in my 2 cents

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  12. #12
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    Personally I think the punishment should fit the child. For me spankings never worked... sure they hurt but I had a stronger will power than that heheh . However... make the computer disappear for a week and I'm a good little boy for a long time... ^_^.

    You have to find whats right for that child, be it a spanking, or whipping with a switch or be it grounding them and remove something from them. But be careful with the mind games, you never want to over-do anything... and always sometimes the best approach is let the kid cool off and try and talk *gasp.. new concept* heh.

    You'd be suprised what you can get out of them in a casual conversation... just don't try and force that conversation ^_^.
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  13. #13
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    Originally posted by MGCJerry
    They don't spank their children so the kids are a bit rough, and it will only get worse.
    Sounds like the problem is not that they don't spank their children, but that they have no way to enforce any rules at all. As others said, spanking or any form of physical punishment isn't the only approach but it's important that kids learn that there rules and there are standards of acceptable behavior.

    Parents can teach that without ever striking a kid in any way, if they choose to take that kind of approach -- or can teach it with spankings. Either approach is complicated and either approach can fail if parents don't pay attention to what they're doing and learn from their own actions and how the kids respond to them. A blind "my parents spanked me so that's the right way" is no better approach than a blind "whatever you do, never lay a hand on them."

    In the end, most disciplinary problems are because the parents aren't learning, not because the kids aren't.
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  14. #14
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    Half of me wants to say no, but when you walk around and see all the spoiled children, you start to wish children were still paddled. The problem's probably more a lack of discipline than anything else though, so I voted "Other" (as a last resort).
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  15. #15
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    I did not vote: "Yes, I'd pop my kid on the butt if he did something wrong." because that isn't good enough.
    These are my rules for spanking:
    The child does a life (or well being) threatening (to himself or others) misdeed.
    The child has been warned about doing such a thing. (warning does not have to be the same day, but it does have to be a adequete one.)
    The spanking must be imediate. Not hours later.
    The spanking must be short. One or two swats.
    The spanking must be with open hand, and on their bottom.
    No fists.
    No face hits.
    No weapons. (belts ect.)

    Finally the reason a spanking can have a good effect is:
    The sting on the behind is kind of "wake up" like a much less painful version of what could have happened if a tragedy occurred from the child's actions. Not so much a punishment.

    Yes, I believe in time out, but sometimes time out does not give a child the attention he so rightly needs.
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  16. #16
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    I agree completely JayC. My above was an example, but rules should be known, and the kids should know to respect those rules. I also agree spanking should be a "last resort" if other forms of punishment don't work, but hopefully a suitable solution will arise before it comes to spanking.

    Well... I'm just repeating what has already been posted. Just adding onto my original post
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  17. #17
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    Originally posted by ATST
    Finally the reason a spanking can have a good effect is:
    The sting on the behind is kind of "wake up" like a much less painful version of what could have happened if a tragedy occurred from the child's actions. Not so much a punishment.
    Certainly what makes a spanking a spanking, as opposed to a beating, is that it doesn't really physically hurt. Anyone who actually wants to cause their children (or any children for that matter) pain deserves not to have children, and deserves to be in jail for a while... at least.
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  18. #18
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    Originally posted by MGCJerry

    Parent: "I'm gonig to count to 3! One... Two..."
    Child: *Stands still waiting for 3...*
    Parent: "2 1/4... 2 1/2... 2 3/4."
    This is where a child knows that he has mum and dad under the thumb, he/she knows they won't follow through with with the threat.

    Whether it be a smack on the hand, no TV for a week, no icecream today, they should follow through with the punishment that they alloted before the count of three.

    Do that from an early age and punishments will never need to be given out, because the kid knows that you mean business.

  19. #19
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    I voted no.

    We are here as role models and the "do as I say. not as I do" ideas do not work. How does one teach a child that violence is wrong if we ourselves use violence when they do something we disapprove of? "Gee s/he did a bad thing, guess I better thawk him/her.. oh wait, if I do that mom/dad will thawk me for thawking". This type of training, though traditionally was ok, doesn't seem to work as well in current society.

    If you have a job and you screw up, there are many things your boss can do to make sure you know you screwed up. If s/he decides to paddle your behind for the screw up you'll sue..and you'll win.. because it's wrong. Why not train the children with real life consequences they'll encounter in real life rather than a consequence they -shouldn't- have to deal with when they age...

    Our motto around here is "Giv'm what you promise them". If I say, "you'll receive this for doing that" then I need to follow through whether it's prize or punishment and I'll only say it ONCE.

    Though I've seen undisciplined children, and they are amazing, I do not believe the discipline required is physical violence. Corners, groundings, removal of things they enjoy, extra chores et al all can work just as well as long as you follow through with your "promises" and expect the same in return. It's when you get 'wishy washy' and decide maybe you need to say it twice before following through that things can get "out of hand".
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  20. #20
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    LOL! anon-e-mouse summed it up for me .. Gosh I'm typing slow these days
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  21. #21
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    Let's hope our advice prevents at least one more spoilt brat being released into society eh Deb?

  22. #22
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    I wouldn't hit my children unless they annoy me so much, after certain punishments.

    When they do something wrong I would be more inclined to put them on the "time out wall".. if they still persist, it goes higher.. like banning from certain things, etc.

    If they even then still persist, they get a quick smack on the but with my bare hand.

  23. #23
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    Originally posted by Deb
    . . . . . . Corners, groundings, removal of things they enjoy, extra chores et al all can work just as well as long as you follow through with your "promises" and expect the same in return. . . . . . .
    What can be done when that doesn't work?
    Your child does something they know is "wrong" and you say, "Go sit in that corner and think about what you've done." To which they respond, "F*** You!! I hate you! I don't have to!" And they don't.

    Sometimes spankings are necessary.
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  24. #24
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    Originally posted by SoftWareRevue
    What can be done when that doesn't work?
    Your child does something they know is "wrong" and you say, "Go sit in that corner and think about what you've done." To which they respond, "F*** You!! I hate you! I don't have to!" And they don't.
    Discipline them from a very young age, that's the answer. Do that and you have a reasonably stress free life until adolescence

  25. #25
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    Originally posted by ATST
    I did not vote: "Yes, I'd pop my kid on the butt if he did something wrong." because that isn't good enough.
    These are my rules for spanking:
    The child does a life (or well being) threatening (to himself or others) misdeed.
    The child has been warned about doing such a thing. (warning does not have to be the same day, but it does have to be a adequete one.)
    The spanking must be imediate. Not hours later.
    The spanking must be short. One or two swats.
    The spanking must be with open hand, and on their bottom.
    No fists.
    No face hits.
    No weapons. (belts ect.)

    Finally the reason a spanking can have a good effect is:
    The sting on the behind is kind of "wake up" like a much less painful version of what could have happened if a tragedy occurred from the child's actions. Not so much a punishment.

    Yes, I believe in time out, but sometimes time out does not give a child the attention he so rightly needs.

    One more thing, I'd like to add.

    NEVER EVER spank your kid if you are angry or frustrated with their behavior. Spanking is NOT an outlet for your emotions.

    That said, I have spanked my kids probably a total of 5 times each. Almost all of those times were when they were very young and were doing somethign that put them in grave danger...i.e. running out into the road or away from me in a parking lot...reaching for a hot oven, etc.

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