Well Steven, let me tell you my story. Just to let everyone know, in NO way did I think about suicide. And this is very long, sorry
I was suffering from depression from work because of how much stress was being caused by my store director. I worked for this really big electronics retailer, won't mention names but its a failing company, and boy did I learn my lesson. I was a supervisor for the entertainment department (home theater/tvs/audio etc...) and it was amazing. I LOVE home theater now.
Well lets say my store was the 2nd highest volume store in the region out of 110 stores. When I first got there we were #8, so it was sooooooo much work getting us there. I improved our departments close rate by 20%, which was the highest. I also brought up the departments margin up about 5%, from 19% to 24%, a HUGE increase for such departments. I also was the most profitable department in the region
I had lots and lots of praises from my store director at the time, as well as many many managers, district managers, my regional vice president, and a couple of vice presidents for the company. I was good at my job, and was told by alot of people I would be promoted soon because I did the "impossible."
Well, the store director suddenly left to Sears, and he was supposed to get me promoted in another 2 months. I was sad
What made it worse was, the new store director was our new district manager's best friend. (We lost the DM as well thanks to a secret restructuring NO one knows about.) Oh boy was this a bitch. I continued doing very very well until he started coming over and harrasing me, telling me I'm too young to be a supervisor, and my numbers suck. BTW at this time, it was towards the end of June, and at the time we were beating our monthly sales budget by $107k. (Month end we beat it by $112k)
To most managers, thats an amazing thing to do. Not him! "You are sucking, you need to get your CCAP #s up!" I could not even understand wtf his problem was. CCAP is our warrantys, and the department used to do 4% before I got there, and at the time we were at 5.8% on a 5% budget. Whatever I let it slide.
Then he harrassed me every single day, telling me I'm a bad supervisor, my guys suck, our numbers suck, and he also told me I would never be a manager until I'm much much older. All I ever wanted out of that store which was a sacrafice to get to was to be promoted, and he just stabbed me in the heart with a big fat NO. I honestly almost broke out crying on the floor, but instead I left early and went to the beach. Looked at the ocean for a while with thoughts running through my head, wondering what I did wrong, and how I could fix it. I also went to get advice from tons of managers and they all said I'm doing an amazing job and can't see how I could improve.
Well I decided I gave up. This store was making me eat up half my check on gas, and it didn't make any sense in being there anymore. There were 3 stores, of which 2 are the new concept stores within 5 miles from me. After I told 1 of the managers at a different store, it spread like wildfire, I had about 15 people asking me to transfer to their store, keep the same, if not more pay, but step down as a supervisor and go in as sales until a supervisor quits. I decided I would, but then I got this amazing offer, Firedog City Designs, a high end installation part of our company. A REALLY big pay increase, plus they paid for gas. Wow was it a big dream come true. I would pretty much double my pay by just letting htem pay for gas, + a 33% pay increase, and no more stress. My job would make me go to different stores in a district designed of the higher volume stores, and train the supervisors on becoming better sales.
Well let me tell you this, that was a dream come true, and I jumped on it! My SD asked me to wait a month to finish training one of my guys to take my spot, and I agreed. Little did I know, the month was really to try and get me fired. Apparently I embarrased him because I refused to want to work for him, and alot of managers brought it up. And also I reported him to our regional HR manager about some things he illegally did, like pulling associates OFF of their lunch and make them work on their lunch, plus violated the 5 hour lunch law many times, and made me work off the clock.
A week before I was going to my new dream job, I was interviewing people to jump into the department, because it was such an "elite" department now. I hired somebody, and my 2nd guy came in, so did my area asset protection manager. I released a tv a month before to have it installed, but it wasn't installed right away which caused confusion and the tv was resold. Well, they said it was "falsifying company documents." Awesome! I get FIRED 2 days before my dream job transfer
I was so depressed, I didn't know what to do. I had so many emotions running through me, and didn't know what to do. Luckily I talked to my best friend, and she helped me get through it. We took a few trips and just sat, talked for a while, and she convinced me it would help me to get fired. "Everything happends for a reason."
Well I applied for unemployment because under the law, I qualified since I didn't know I could get fired for it, as I was never ever trained on it. But when it came down to it, the company lied to unemployment and said I made knowingly made false statements which disqualifies me. Well I'm screwed, I have 2 car payments, insurance, and tons of bills. As it was, I was broke by the time my checks came around just thrown in bills, but I took the chance because I wanted to get promoted and double my pay.
After all that, a week later, the worst thing happend. My Uncle passed away. I was on the edge of God knows where. I lost my job, I'm completly broke, I'm about to lose everything, and then my Uncle passes away.
Then a week later, my Great Grandma was put in a hospital. She could not walk because she had a big fall at home. I walked into the hospital seeing her laying there, and I just broke down. I left the building and just bawled for an hour. I lost my job, my Uncle, and my Grandma is there.
I'm a very sensitive person, and couldn't understand why everything bad was happening to me at once. As it was, losing my Uncle nearly killed me, I couldn't even stay at his funeral because I broke down crying every few seconds.
As I'm writing this I'm tearing, these are the biggest heart breaks I've had and all at the same time. All I could think of is how I havn't made them proud of me. I don't know what I did to deserve all these losses at the same time, it just hurt me really bad.
Whats been helping me alot lately is the fact when my best friend said everything happends for a reason. I now believe I was fired so I can open my eyes to opening my own company, doing something I love, which was home entertainment. I believe my Uncle passing away opened my eyes to see that its now or never, I never know when my last breath is. And my Grandma being in the hospital also is pushing me, so I've been pushing as fast as I can, but slow enough to make sure I do everything right. I believe shes there to make me do this right, and make her proud. I wake up every morning, thinking of what I need to do that day, because I want to live everyday like its my last. I want to do that, but mainly, making sure I make her proud, as well as the rest of my family.
Now honestly, going out with friends probably doesn't help much, as it didn't really help me. But hanging out with that 1 person, your best friend, going somewhere you can't be reached and just sitting there or walking around, really helps relieve the stress. It helps you forget about all your worries, as well as being a perfect place to let out all your sorrows.
Well, sorry for the long post, but had to let it out