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  1. #1

    Never let it be said engineers have no sense of humor

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and
    S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on backorder.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for!

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperable in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    dotGig
    <:<: [Fruit eating linux administrator]

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    1,745
    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
    Believe me, they've had a few accidents - just no fatalities.

    --Shaun
    Shaun Ewing
    shaun.net

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    India, US, Germany
    Posts
    1,609
    now we know why...
    A student once asked his teacher, "Master, what is enlightenment?"
    The master replied, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep. When you need care, come to bobcares....
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Washington, USA
    Posts
    5,990
    LOL

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Toronto Canada
    Posts
    347
    S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.
    P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and


    Were does engineer come into this
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    3,098
    heh

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    8,535
    Mechanical engineer?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Long beach
    Posts
    113
    This was cool.

  9. #9
    indeed

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    1,612
    hehe lol

  11. #11
    Engineers will enjoy it more. Good one.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,571
    heh!
    -Mooneer
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  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    455
    Tooo funny
    - Andy
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  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Melbourne, AU
    Posts
    1,392
    That was quite amusing.
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  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    2,059
    I've read the same thing, but for some airforce or similar. It's still funny!
    "Stop flame-wars - Report a post"
    The original Kitty Lizard

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