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Thread: 3 strikes

  1. #1
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    * 3 strikes

    This one was too funny to pass by:

    +++

    Can you help in this time of great need? Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.

    And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their
    life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
    upcoming strike situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
    cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain
    economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves
    the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a
    start, and every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
    player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in
    Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
    more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks,
    or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700
    will partially replace his daily salary.

    Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
    that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
    Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
    you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
    estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
    signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
    player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
    (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on
    your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
    wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
    will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
    additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
    below:

    [ ] Infielder
    [ ] Outfielder
    [ ] Starting Pitcher
    [ ] Ace Pitcher
    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a

    specific team - $10 per minute)

    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player
    for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I
    have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my
    very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat
    (include $80 for hat).

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    that was great

    good they their not striking...i probably woulda stopped watching baseball if it actually were to happen

  4. #4
    Oh God, that's funny!

  5. #5
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  6. #6
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    LOL

    I don't give a rip if they go on strike. They all suck in my book.

  7. #7
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    Baseball is rubbish. It's not something that is hard to do.
    Professor of crime at St Andrews university.

  8. #8
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    Baseball is rubbish. It's not something that is hard to do.
    As my mom used to say: "If it's so easy and you'll make so much money, why aren't you doing it then?!"

    Baseball's supposedly the preferred sport of intellectuals for the sole reason you can still win the game even if you're down by a million points in the 7th. Now football, there's a sport anyone can enjoy: bone-jarring, ass-kicking action while still trying to move the ball down a field! And with the enforced player price-cap the people behind the gear are still for the most part human.

    Sincerely,

    -Matt

  9. #9
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    Ned hates everything.

  10. #10
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    lol

    Soccer!!!



    MLS!

  11. #11
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    lmfao.. i agree no one is worth that much money.. i think there all idiots and anyone who feels bad from them seriously needs to get a hobby.. I think they are all a bunch of whiney little b!tches and they need to appreciate what they have and realize they are making millions for doing nothing but playing like a bunch of kids.. I say give the $$$ to people who really deserve it.. ie: fireman and such.. people who have a really tough job.. maybe even your sysadmin

  12. #12
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    Originally posted by OKIHost
    lmfao.. i agree no one is worth that much money.. i think there all idiots and anyone who feels bad from them seriously needs to get a hobby.. I think they are all a bunch of whiney little b!tches and they need to appreciate what they have and realize they are making millions for doing nothing but playing like a bunch of kids.. I say give the $$$ to people who really deserve it.. ie: fireman and such.. people who have a really tough job.. maybe even your sysadmin
    Your obviously an oxford man yourself OKI.
    I know i know i know and most can't even talk English, there imports and ugly ones too. Just look at that rovaldo, he's ugly and doesn't tell anyone his real name. Seriously though that rovaldo lad isn't half ugly .
    Professor of crime at St Andrews university.

  13. #13
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    Rovaldo? Rivaldo? from soccer?

  14. #14
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    I the ugly import.
    Professor of crime at St Andrews university.

  15. #15
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    The ugly import

    Poor bloke, hes just trying to make a living.

  16. #16
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    I wonder what his sons like if he has one. What they could join the circus of horrors . Freak show.
    Professor of crime at St Andrews university.

  17. #17
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    Do baseball players even need to be unionized? heh.
    -Mooneer
    Thoughtbug Software: Hosting shouldn't require any thought.
    Legitimate host? Support the Code of Ethical Conduct

  18. #18
    I think that some people are actually thinking that the players are wusses since they backed down on the strike, but i'm all smiles since they didn't ruin america's passtime.

  19. #19
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    I thought WHT was America's passtime?

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