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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Kelowna B.C.
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    1,687

    Darwin Awards: Your Favorite

    So people whats your favorite Darwin Award?

    Heres one of the best:

    Six people drowned while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well insouthern Egypt. An eighteen-year-old farmer was the first to decned into the sixty-foot well. He drowned, apparently agter an undercueent in the water pulled him down. Police said his siter and two borthers, none of whom could swim also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came by to help. But they were apparently pulled under the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were eventually extricated from the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo

    The chicken was also pulled out. A better swimmer it survived!

    --Wendy Northcutt
    The Darwin Awards
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Toronto Canada
    Posts
    347
    Not much to add to that except
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Washington, USA
    Posts
    5,991
    I'd stay away from water if you can't swim.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Toronto Canada
    Posts
    347

    Talking Here ya go lol

    "California) A dairy worker who heard that bovine flatulence was largely composed of methane, and potentially explosive, decided to apply the scientific method to the theory. While one of his contented cow charges was hooked up to the milking machine, he waited for the slight tail lift which dairy workers know signals an impending expulsion, generally something to avoid. Our hero struck a match. His satisfaction at seeing the resulting foot-long blue flame lasted mere seconds, before the flame was subsumed by a rectal contraction. The poor Holstein exploded, killing the worker who was struck by a flying femur bone. "
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Kelowna B.C.
    Posts
    1,687


    Theres a good one

    "MAN GLUED TO RHINO BUTTOCKS"

    A Vermont Native found himslef in a difficult position while touring the Eagle Raock African Safari Zoo with a gourp of thespians fromSt. Petersburg. Ronald went to extremes to demonstrate the power of Crazy Glue, one of America's many marvels, to the Russians. To probe the effectiveness of Crazy Glue he rubbed several ounces of the adhesive onto the palms of his hands and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino.
    The rhinoceros, a resident of the zoo for thirteen years, was not initially startled, as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware that it was involuntarily stuck to Ronald, it began to panic and charge wildly about the petting area with Ronald along as an unwitting passenger.
    "Sally the Rhino hadn't been feeling well" confided caretaker James Douglass. "She was constipated and just been given a laxative when the American played his juvenile prank."
    During Sally's tirade a shed wall was gored and two fences destryed, allowing a number of small animals to esvape. Three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. During the stampede and subseqeunt capture, Sally began to feel the effects of the laxative, showering Ronald repeatedly with over thrity gallons of rhinoceros diarrhea. A team of medics and zoo caretakers were needed to remove his hands from Sally's buttocks. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down while sheilding our faces from the pelting rhino dung. I guess you could say that Ronald was in it up to his neck."
    Once she was under control three people with shovels worked to keep an air passage open for Ronald. "we were eventually able to tranquilize Sally and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear", said Douglass. "I don't think he'll be playing with crazy glue for a while."
    Ronald did not die, nor was there any reproductive injury, yet he may still qualify for a Darwin Award if you are persuaded by the fact that nobody would date a man who smelled of rhino dung.

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  6. #6
    Is there a website with these stories on them?

  7. #7
    My favorite





    (25 May 2000, Philippines) We all enjoy learning from the past. Reflect back to November 24, 1971, aboard a Northwest Orient Airlines flight in Portland. A man who had purchased his ticket under the name of "Dan Cooper" demanded two hundred thousand dollars in cash and four parachutes. The plane made a landing in Seattle to accommodate his requests and disgorge the passengers. Once the plane was back in the air, Cooper asked how to lower the tail stairs, and then ordered the flight attendant out of the cabin. When the plane landed in Reno, the tail stairs were open and Cooper and the money were gone.

    For all his cool demeanor, Cooper had the crosshairs of evolution on him when he decided to jump. There was a freezing rainstorm outside, and the wind chill from the plane's velocity dropped the effective temperature to -60 degrees Fahrenheit. To seal his fate, he jumped with no food or survival gear into a heavily wooded forest in winter at night.

    The peanuts provided on the plane were just not enough to sustain his life. It is assumed that the man the FBI called D. B. Cooper died in the mountains or hit the Columbia River and drowned. History, then, teaches us that one cannot jump out of an airplane and survive. You would think that a hijacker would know better, butů

    We turn to Davao City in the Philippines this year. Augusto was a man with a mission. He boarded a Philippine Air flight to Manila, and donned a ski mask and swim goggles. Then he pulled out a gun and a grenade and announced that he was hijacking the plane. Apparently security is a bit lax at the Davao City airport.

    He demanded that the plane return to Davao City, but the pilots convinced him that the aircraft was low on fuel, and they continued on toward Manila. Augusto, undaunted, robbed the passengers of about $25,000 and ordered the pilots to lower the plane to 6,500 feet.

    When a lunatic with a gun orders you to descend, you descend. Meanwhile, Augusto strapped a homemade parachute onto his back, and forced the flight attendants to open the door and depressurize the plane.

    He probably intended to jump, but the wind was so strong that he had trouble getting out of the plane. Finally one of the flight attendants helpfully pushed him out the door, just as he pulled the pin from the grenade. He threw the pin (oops!) into the cabin, and fell toward the earth carrying the business end of the grenade in his hand.

    The impact of Augusto hitting the earth at terminal velocity had little effect on the earth's orbit. All that remained aboveground were Augusto's two hands.


    So history repeats itself with a new twist.

    1. Don't throw yourself out of a perfectly good airplane.

    2. If you feel compelled to violate Lesson 1, at least don't roll your own... parachute, that is.

  8. #8
    You can find the darwin awards at (oddly enough) www.darwinawards.com

  9. #9
    hmph . I guess I wasn't thinking inside of the box enough .

  10. #10
    It doesn't seem as though there are a vast number of them.... Maybe people are getting smarter!!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Amherst, NH
    Posts
    241

    I have kind of a sad, ***** one...

    A week or two ago, we had a really bad lightning storm. Rain was pouring down...

    We lost power a couple of times. Nothing major though. Really hot here in NH.....

    My girlfriend comes home from work, Screaming as she runs into the house...

    It looks like our BACK YARD WAS ON FIRE!!!!

    Well, I ran out of the house to check it out... She prepared the animals for travel (4 Cats & 4 Dogs... Screw the fish).

    I looked closely, and it was a neighbor's garage on fire!

    Well, after the fire department got there, and got it under control, we found out what happened. Of course, we ASSUMED the garage was hit by lightning...

    NOPE!

    The ***** who owns the house, started the generator, so the air conditioner would go off. THEN, he proceeded to fill the generator with gas, because it was running low. HE DIDN'T TURN THE GENERATOR OFF!!!! AND he poured the gas in it while it was running, and he didn't have a funnel!!!!!

    Needless to say, he no longer has a garage, or 3 cars, one a mercedes...

    Luckily no one was hurt (Except him I believe).

    Darwin....


    Steve
    Steven Santinelli
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  12. #12
    hahaha. Scratch my last remark: I take that back

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