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  1. #1
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    Talking Some stupid news stories

    Some stupid news stories

    In Redondo Beach, Calif., a police officer arrested a driver after a short chase and charged him with drunk driving. Officer Joseph Fonteno's suspicions were aroused when he saw the white Mazda MX-7 rolling down Pacific Coast Highway with half of a traffic-light pole, including the lights, lying across its hood. The driver had hit the pole on a median strip and simply kept driving. According to Fonteno, when the driver was asked about the pole, he said, "It came with the car when I bought it."

    When police arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin to remove a woman's children because of a complaint that she had given her 11-year-old daughter a "swirlie" (Holding her head in a flushing toilet). The woman reportedly said, "I haven't had a vacation in 13 years, go ahead and take them!"

    A reward of $1,000 was offered for information leading to the capture and conviction of a man robbing taxi drivers. The man turned himself in and demanded the reward as a result. He received a 20 year sentence for aggravated robbery instead.

    The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

    A couple robbing a store caught on camera could not be identified until the police reviewed the security tape. The woman filled out an entry form for a free trip prior to robbing the store.

    A man went in to rob a bank. He demanded the clerk to give him all the money. They told him to go sit out in his car and they would bring him the bags of money. He agreed and went out to his car. In the meantime, the people in the bank called the police. When they got there the man was still sitting in his car waiting for the money and they arrested him.

    A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he gave the court a forged check. He got his prison term back, plus eight more years.

    A man was arrested and charged with the robbery of vending machines. The man posted bail, entirely in quarters.

    A teenager in Belmont, New Hampshire robbed the local convenience store. Getting away with a pocket full of change, the boy walked home. He did not realize, however, that he had holes in both of his pockets. A trail of quarters and dimes led police directly to his house.

    Tyson Mitchell of Iowa City, Iowa walked into the police station, for some reason that nobody understands, and asked the dispatcher if he was wanted for any crimes. He was and was also arrested, on the spot. The police also found several bags of cocaine in his pocket.

    A guy wearing pantyhose on his face tried to rob a store in a mall. When security came, he quickly grabbed a shopping bag and pretended to be shopping, forgetting that he was still wearing the pantyhose. He was captured and his loot was returned to the store.

    A man robbed a convenience store and ran out with a bag full of cash. He got down the street and realized he had left his car keys on the counter. When he returned to the store, he was promptly arrested.

    Eleven days before the statute of limitations was to expire on the Brink's robbery in Boston, Massachusetts, that netted nearly $3 million in January 1950, one of the robbers confessed and betrayed his fellow robbers.

    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break his former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a rather large hole in his stomach.

    A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof vest to see if it would protected him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.

    A young criminal walked into a bank and quietly handed the teller a note demanding several thousand dollars. Disguised, the man could have easily gotten away. However, he had idiotically written the note on a piece of his own stationery; it included his full name and address.

    T'Chacka Mshinda Thorpe, 25, was arrested in Lynchburg, Va., in May and charged with possession of cocaine after a brief chase; police caught up to him after Thorpe tripped on his low-riding baggy pants, fell, and fractured his femur.

    Edney Raphael, 39, running from a stabbing in Philadelphia with a bloody knife in his hand, was captured following a foot chase; he had turned his head to see where the officers were and run smack into a parking meter.

    The words 'Wayne Black' were tattooed across the forehead of Wayne Black, a suspected thief. When confronted by police, he insisted he wasn't Wayne Black. To prove it, he stood in front of a mirror and insisted he was Kcalb Enyaw.

    Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.

    A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

    A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

    The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

    A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

    Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

    A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

    Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

    A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking" stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

    Detroit, Michigan - A man was pulled over for driving 70mph in a 40mph zone. The officer walked up to the side of the vehicle and asked for the man's License. The man replied, "Well, I don't have one." The cop then asked for his registration. "Well, I don't have that either. You see, I stole this car." The police officer gazed at the driver with uncertainty. "Oh yeah, and I have a gun in the glovebox, and a dead body in the trunk. So, the reason I don't have a license and registration is because I shot the guy I stole the car from with the gun in the glovebox, and stuffed him in the trunk." The officer replied, "Just stay here a moment, don't go anywhere." The officer got in his car and dispatched the FBI to come out. When the FBI arrived the agent said to the driver, "This officer says you stole this car." The man replied "Well no, actually I have my License and Registration in my glovebox." The man opened his glovebox and handed the agent his Lisence and registration. The Agent said, "He also said you have a dead body in the trunk." The man said, "Well, let's have a look." He opened the trunk only to see an extra tire. The man then said, "Well, I betcha this son of a bitch told you I was speeding too?"

    A man walks into a gas station and walks around the corner to where the paper bags were. He grabs a paper bag and slips into the bathroom. He comes back out wearing the paper bag over his head and runs up to the cashier while yelling "Give me all the money you got!" The clerk says, "But all the money is in the vault." Frustrated, he walks out. He didn't realize that everyone had got a good look of him and knew who he was, so he was found a little while later.


    45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.


    Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.
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  2. #2
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    LOL

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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  5. #5
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    funny stuff! .. i love dumb people ..
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  6. #6
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    LOL Takes all kinds to make the world go around dosen't it ? lol

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  7. #7
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    Great stuff!

  8. #8
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    The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.



    Acually, he was pretty smart, getting nabed for robbing a school is better the a jewlery store.

    Funny stuff. I liked the deadbody/speeding one.
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  9. #9
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    I betcha this son of a bitch told you I was speeding too?"
    That one's an old joke that's been popular even among cops for a while. But when cops tell it, they don't say that the FBI was called to the scene of the traffic stop because, well, no one would believe that!
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  10. #10
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    Re: Some stupid news stories

    Originally posted by JMD

    A reward of $1,000 was offered for information leading to the capture and conviction of a man robbing taxi drivers. The man turned himself in and demanded the reward as a result. He received a 20 year sentence for aggravated robbery instead.
    He got his reward for breaking the law
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  11. #11
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    rofl funny
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