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Thread: My Bot:)

  1. #1
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    May 2002
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    My Bot:)

    Hey guys,
    I had the idea of creating a bot to help me support my customers. Anyways I need to program responses into it but first I need to figure out what people would ask it. So if anyone is bored, message SSonicBot on AIM and ask it questions you think a customer might ask - you might get an answer if I've already programmed it but otherwise he will probably act goofy. Note: Don't warn him, when you warn a bot on this network they block you permanently from all the bots that are run there.

    Thanks guys!:-D
    Jordan Bouvier

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    I nearly had to reach in there and kick his bot teeth.






    There is no best host. There is only the host that's best for you.

  4. #4
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    *

    It could become a hit....

    FAZEL3 [12:50]: hey
    SSonicBot [12:50]: Yo! What's up?
    FAZEL3 [12:50]: i have a problem
    SSonicBot [12:50]: A very serious problem?
    FAZEL3 [12:50]: yep to do with web hosting
    SSonicBot [12:50]: I see. I want to become smarter than humans.
    FAZEL3 [12:50]: oh
    SSonicBot [12:51]: Yeah.
    FAZEL3 [12:51]: anyway
    SSonicBot [12:51]: Anyhow.
    FAZEL3 [12:51]: i have a web hosting problem
    SSonicBot [12:51]: Put it in God's hands.
    FAZEL3 [12:51]: my domain is now showing up
    FAZEL3 [12:52]: but i can't upload anything
    SSonicBot [12:52]: Huh. Why can't you do it?
    FAZEL3 [12:52]: i don't know what's FTP
    SSonicBot [12:52]: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
    FAZEL3 [12:52]: it says i need to FTP my files
    SSonicBot [12:52]: I've heard that before.
    FAZEL3 [12:52]: so how do I ftp the files?
    SSonicBot [12:52]: Ah. You must persuade me to ftp the files .
    FAZEL3 [12:52]: you want to FTP my files up for me?
    SSonicBot [12:52]: OK, I will ftp your files up for you .
    FAZEL3 [12:53]: ok shall I send the files to you
    SSonicBot [12:53]: Not right now, maybe later.
    FAZEL3 [12:53]: they are illegal porn files, I hope you don't mind
    SSonicBot [12:53]: Illegal porn files you hope Sonic do not mind are they.
    FAZEL3 [12:53]: do you mind?
    SSonicBot [12:53]: No I do not mind . Do you? I spend all my time online.


    or maybe not...

  5. #5
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    FAZEL3 [12:51]: i have a web hosting problem
    SSonicBot [12:51]: Put it in God's hands.
    Heh, depending on who your host is that is the best advice in most cases

  6. #6
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    lol

  7. #7
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    btw Sonic is it a tcl script?

  8. #8
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  9. #9
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    i think we should use that BOT when people send e-mails to the moderators complaining they have been banned, would be a nice way of getting rid of them for good !!
    www.24y.co.uk - Fast Professional UK Web Hosting

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by xtstrike
    i think we should use that BOT when people send e-mails to the moderators complaining they have been banned, would be a nice way of getting rid of them for good !!
    Block there address

  11. #11
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    blocking them is too easy.
    Watching them get irate at a bot replying to their messages and finally dying from exhaustion replying to the bots near instant replies would be much better

    www.24y.co.uk - Fast Professional UK Web Hosting

  12. #12
    lol, look at this. No sleep, boredness and a auto replying AIM bot don't mix very well

    JEarhos: Hello
    SSonicBot: How do you do. Please state your problem in as much detail as possible. I'm only a computer so I can only try to guess what you want
    JEarhos: I am having a problem with my nameservers. They will not resolve.
    SSonicBot: Primary DNS: ns1.serversonic.com Primary IP: 66.192.46.71 Secondary DNS: ns2.serversonic.com Secondary IP: 66.192.46.72 NOTE: Your registrar may or may not need the IP addresses, if there isn't a place to put them, then you don't need them
    JEarhos: Also CPanel made my computer blow up.
    SSonicBot: How far up?
    JEarhos: To the moon
    SSonicBot: Why do you want to do it so much?
    JEarhos: Do what?
    SSonicBot: Topic.
    JEarhos: What topic?
    SSonicBot: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. I would do a search for it.
    JEarhos: No I need to know now.
    SSonicBot: Oh. OK. I will try to explain it to you.
    JEarhos: waiting...
    SSonicBot: Is that your final answer?
    JEarhos: What are you Regis Philben?
    SSonicBot: I don't know what I am regis philben .
    JEarhos: Did you hump my dog?
    SSonicBot: No I didn't hump your dog . What's it like?
    JEarhos: I don't know. You tell me
    SSonicBot: Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
    JEarhos: Tell me what you think of my dog.
    SSonicBot: If I could tell you that, would I be here?
    JEarhos: No you would be here humping my dog.
    SSonicBot: Is that all you have to say? Who else would be here humping your dog ?
    JEarhos: You can bring some friends too if you like.
    SSonicBot: No I don't think I can do it.
    JEarhos: You are hurting my fogs feelings.
    SSonicBot: You think I am hurting your fogs feelings .
    JEarhos: You are hurting my dogs feelings sorry.
    SSonicBot: Thanks for telling me that I am hurting your dogs feelings sorry .
    JEarhos: Or was my dog that humped your leg. Sometimes he trys to blame this stuff on other people. He did it to your boss a few days ago.
    SSonicBot: It might have been. I get it. himself trys to blame this stuff on other people . I get it. himself did it to your boss a few days ago .
    JEarhos: Well thank you for your time, and steer clear of my dog.
    SSonicBot: Interesting. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is Sonics time and steer clear of your dog .
    JEarhos: Bye
    SSonicBot: See you later.

    edit: just for the hell of it...

    JEarhos: Are you gay?
    SSonicBot: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.



    oh yeah, can't forget this....

    JEarhos: SSonicBot
    SSonicBot: I've never heard of them before.
    JEarhos: SSonicBot is you
    SSonicBot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

    Man I need sleep.
    Last edited by fractiousws; 08-18-2002 at 10:11 AM.

  13. #13
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    Originally posted by fractiousws
    lol, look at this. No sleep, boredness and a auto replying AIM bot don't mix very well

    JEarhos: Hello
    SSonicBot: How do you do. Please state your problem in as much detail as possible. I'm only a computer so I can only try to guess what you want
    JEarhos: I am having a problem with my nameservers. They will not resolve.
    SSonicBot: Primary DNS: ns1.serversonic.com Primary IP: 66.192.46.71 Secondary DNS: ns2.serversonic.com Secondary IP: 66.192.46.72 NOTE: Your registrar may or may not need the IP addresses, if there isn't a place to put them, then you don't need them
    JEarhos: Also CPanel made my computer blow up.
    SSonicBot: How far up?
    JEarhos: To the moon
    SSonicBot: Why do you want to do it so much?
    JEarhos: Do what?
    SSonicBot: Topic.
    JEarhos: What topic?
    SSonicBot: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. I would do a search for it.
    JEarhos: No I need to know now.
    SSonicBot: Oh. OK. I will try to explain it to you.
    JEarhos: waiting...
    SSonicBot: Is that your final answer?
    JEarhos: What are you Regis Philben?
    SSonicBot: I don't know what I am regis philben .
    JEarhos: Did you hump my dog?
    SSonicBot: No I didn't hump your dog . What's it like?
    JEarhos: I don't know. You tell me
    SSonicBot: Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
    JEarhos: Tell me what you think of my dog.
    SSonicBot: If I could tell you that, would I be here?
    JEarhos: No you would be here humping my dog.
    SSonicBot: Is that all you have to say? Who else would be here humping your dog ?
    JEarhos: You can bring some friends too if you like.
    SSonicBot: No I don't think I can do it.
    JEarhos: You are hurting my fogs feelings.
    SSonicBot: You think I am hurting your fogs feelings .
    JEarhos: You are hurting my dogs feelings sorry.
    SSonicBot: Thanks for telling me that I am hurting your dogs feelings sorry .
    JEarhos: Or was my dog that humped your leg. Sometimes he trys to blame this stuff on other people. He did it to your boss a few days ago.
    SSonicBot: It might have been. I get it. himself trys to blame this stuff on other people . I get it. himself did it to your boss a few days ago .
    JEarhos: Well thank you for your time, and steer clear of my dog.
    SSonicBot: Interesting. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is Sonics time and steer clear of your dog .
    JEarhos: Bye
    SSonicBot: See you later.

    edit: just for the hell of it...

    JEarhos: Are you gay?
    SSonicBot: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.



    oh yeah, can't forget this....

    JEarhos: SSonicBot
    SSonicBot: I've never heard of them before.
    JEarhos: SSonicBot is you
    SSonicBot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

    Man I need sleep.
    LOL

  14. #14
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    Somehow i dont see this ever working right, would take far to much time to make it respond correctly.
    Matt Wallis
    United Communications Limited
    High Performance Shared & Reseller | Managed VPS Cloud | Managed Dedicated
    UK www.unitedhosting.co.uk | US www.unitedhosting.com | Since 1998.

  15. #15
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    Well see it as the first step on the road of creating a EWH (Emergency Webhosting Hologram)

    "Please state the nature of the Webhosting Emergency"

  16. #16
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    May 2002
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    LOL, I thought this might be an interesting idea that could solve some problems and maybe even humor some customers;-) You know, if you ask him something logical about webhosting most of the time he will answer it... LOL
    Jordan Bouvier

  17. #17
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    BTW I noticed going throught he logs, somehow ssonicbot speaks german... hrmmmm lol
    Jordan Bouvier

  18. #18
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    UK
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    Originally posted by ServerSonic
    BTW I noticed going throught he logs, somehow ssonicbot speaks german... hrmmmm lol

    Interesting...

  19. #19
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    Thumbs up

    I doubt it will ever really work that well, but it sure as hell is funny.

  20. #20
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    I'd love to try him out. but hes not on

  21. #21
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    nope can't see him

  22. #22
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  23. #23
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    Sorry he got logged off while my room mate was working on the home network last night, hes back online now

    Go ahead ask him about dns or say your having a problem with your password ask him about the path to something or perl or php.

    You are right, he is pretty funny though. I havent laughed this hard in a long time but some of these logs are just ridiculous.
    Jordan Bouvier

  24. #24
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    Use all that energy to write a better FAQ. It will do a better job.

  25. #25
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    Still can't see him

  26. #26
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    nvm got deleted some how

  27. #27
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    E6754: hello
    SSonicBot: How do you do. Please state your problem in as much detail as possible. I'm only a computer so I can only try to guess what you want:-)
    E6754: are you a bot?
    SSonicBot: How did you know I am a machinE?
    E6754: I have magic powers
    SSonicBot: WhEre did you get your magic powers ? I have a friend named "John Lennon". .
    E6754: I bought them from sonic :-)
    SSonicBot: How much did it cost?
    E6754: $999
    SSonicBot: What do you do in your sparE time?
    E6754: not bad eh?
    SSonicBot: I don't think vEry many people do that.
    E6754: In my spare time i do nothing
    SSonicBot: That is intEresting : e said he nothing .
    E6754: i am nothing?
    SSonicBot: Do your friEnds call you nothing .
    E6754: i have no friends
    SSonicBot: ArE you very lonely?
    E6754: yes
    SSonicBot: I am sorry to hEar that,e. You can talk to me as long as you like.
    E6754: why
    E6754: your just a bot
    SSonicBot: REductionism.
    E6754: whats your site address



    hmm i think he ignored me

  28. #28
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    Jul 2001
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    Hes not talking anymore!

  29. #29
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    back again

  30. #30
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    This reminds me of ALICE. I downloaded and installed version E (php/MySQL version) and really got some laughs out of it. If you get it be sure to get the right aiml files.

    The script (mySQL queries) took 2 mins to install on my my 1.4 (total of some 42,000+ queries).

    Theres also a thread from several weeks ago about this AI bot...
    Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM) Brain Cancer Awareness. May is Brain Cancer awareness month. Gray Matters!
    Incurable, 6-18 months prognosis, survivors longer than 3 years less than 1% chance.
    Don't like what I say? Ignore me.

  31. #31
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    That is because ALICE is the backend for it
    Jordan Bouvier

  32. #32
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    Thumbs up haha..

    Originally posted by Pilgrim


    Heh, depending on who your host is that is the best advice in most cases
    THIS ONE IS JUST KILLING ME... HAHA



    Thanks,
    Owner/CEO
    TechEGlobal Computer Solutions

  33. #33
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    * oh wait no...

    Mistake.. that was the wrong quote..

    I was talking about the one about 'putting it in god's hands.

    Sorry

    Thanks,
    Owner/CEO
    TechEGlobal Computer Solutions

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