Web Hosting Talk : Other Forums : Web Hosting Lounge : My Bot:)

[ServerSonic]

Hey guys,
I had the idea of creating a bot to help me support my customers. Anyways I need to program responses into it but first I need to figure out what people would ask it. So if anyone is bored, message SSonicBot on AIM and ask it questions you think a customer might ask - you might get an answer if I've already programmed it but otherwise he will probably act goofy. Note: Don't warn him, when you warn a bot on this network they block you permanently from all the bots that are run there.

Thanks guys!:-D

[edb49]

What a random idea, do you like driving your customers mad?

[SoftWareRevue]

I nearly had to reach in there and kick his bot teeth.

[Chachi]

It could become a hit....

FAZEL3 [12:50]: hey
SSonicBot [12:50]: Yo! What's up?
FAZEL3 [12:50]: i have a problem
SSonicBot [12:50]: A very serious problem?
FAZEL3 [12:50]: yep to do with web hosting
SSonicBot [12:50]: I see. I want to become smarter than humans.
FAZEL3 [12:50]: oh
SSonicBot [12:51]: Yeah.
FAZEL3 [12:51]: anyway
SSonicBot [12:51]: Anyhow.
FAZEL3 [12:51]: i have a web hosting problem
SSonicBot [12:51]: Put it in God's hands.
FAZEL3 [12:51]: my domain is now showing up
FAZEL3 [12:52]: but i can't upload anything
SSonicBot [12:52]: Huh. Why can't you do it?
FAZEL3 [12:52]: i don't know what's FTP
SSonicBot [12:52]: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
FAZEL3 [12:52]: it says i need to FTP my files
SSonicBot [12:52]: I've heard that before.
FAZEL3 [12:52]: so how do I ftp the files?
SSonicBot [12:52]: Ah. You must persuade me to ftp the files .
FAZEL3 [12:52]: you want to FTP my files up for me?
SSonicBot [12:52]: OK, I will ftp your files up for you .
FAZEL3 [12:53]: ok shall I send the files to you
SSonicBot [12:53]: Not right now, maybe later.
FAZEL3 [12:53]: they are illegal porn files, I hope you don't mind
SSonicBot [12:53]: Illegal porn files you hope Sonic do not mind are they.
FAZEL3 [12:53]: do you mind?
SSonicBot [12:53]: No I do not mind . Do you? I spend all my time online.

or maybe not...

[Pilgrim]

FAZEL3 [12:51]: i have a web hosting problem
SSonicBot [12:51]: Put it in God's hands.

Heh, depending on who your host is that is the best advice in most cases

[Darth]

lol

[Darth]

btw Sonic is it a tcl script?

[edb49]

rofl

[XTStrike]

i think we should use that BOT when people send e-mails to the moderators complaining they have been banned, would be a nice way of getting rid of them for good !!

[Darth]

Originally posted by xtstrike
i think we should use that BOT when people send e-mails to the moderators complaining they have been banned, would be a nice way of getting rid of them for good !!

Block there address

[XTStrike]

blocking them is too easy.
Watching them get irate at a bot replying to their messages and finally dying from exhaustion replying to the bots near instant replies would be much better

[fractiousws]

lol, look at this. No sleep, boredness and a auto replying AIM bot don't mix very well

JEarhos: Hello
SSonicBot: How do you do. Please state your problem in as much detail as possible. I'm only a computer so I can only try to guess what you want
JEarhos: I am having a problem with my nameservers. They will not resolve.
SSonicBot: Primary DNS: ns1.serversonic.com Primary IP: 66.192.46.71 Secondary DNS: ns2.serversonic.com Secondary IP: 66.192.46.72 NOTE: Your registrar may or may not need the IP addresses, if there isn't a place to put them, then you don't need them
JEarhos: Also CPanel made my computer blow up.
SSonicBot: How far up?
JEarhos: To the moon
SSonicBot: Why do you want to do it so much?
JEarhos: Do what?
SSonicBot: Topic.
JEarhos: What topic?
SSonicBot: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. I would do a search for it.
JEarhos: No I need to know now.
SSonicBot: Oh. OK. I will try to explain it to you.
JEarhos: waiting...
SSonicBot: Is that your final answer?
JEarhos: What are you Regis Philben?
SSonicBot: I don't know what I am regis philben .
JEarhos: Did you hump my dog?
SSonicBot: No I didn't hump your dog . What's it like?
JEarhos: I don't know. You tell me
SSonicBot: Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
JEarhos: Tell me what you think of my dog.
SSonicBot: If I could tell you that, would I be here?
JEarhos: No you would be here humping my dog.
SSonicBot: Is that all you have to say? Who else would be here humping your dog ?
JEarhos: You can bring some friends too if you like.
SSonicBot: No I don't think I can do it.
JEarhos: You are hurting my fogs feelings.
SSonicBot: You think I am hurting your fogs feelings .
JEarhos: You are hurting my dogs feelings sorry.
SSonicBot: Thanks for telling me that I am hurting your dogs feelings sorry .
JEarhos: Or was my dog that humped your leg. Sometimes he trys to blame this stuff on other people. He did it to your boss a few days ago.
SSonicBot: It might have been. I get it. himself trys to blame this stuff on other people . I get it. himself did it to your boss a few days ago .
JEarhos: Well thank you for your time, and steer clear of my dog.
SSonicBot: Interesting. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is Sonics time and steer clear of your dog .
JEarhos: Bye
SSonicBot: See you later.

edit: just for the hell of it...

JEarhos: Are you gay?
SSonicBot: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.



oh yeah, can't forget this....

JEarhos: SSonicBot
SSonicBot: I've never heard of them before.
JEarhos: SSonicBot is you
SSonicBot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Man I need sleep.

[Darth]

Originally posted by fractiousws
lol, look at this. No sleep, boredness and a auto replying AIM bot don't mix very well

JEarhos: Hello
SSonicBot: How do you do. Please state your problem in as much detail as possible. I'm only a computer so I can only try to guess what you want
JEarhos: I am having a problem with my nameservers. They will not resolve.
SSonicBot: Primary DNS: ns1.serversonic.com Primary IP: 66.192.46.71 Secondary DNS: ns2.serversonic.com Secondary IP: 66.192.46.72 NOTE: Your registrar may or may not need the IP addresses, if there isn't a place to put them, then you don't need them
JEarhos: Also CPanel made my computer blow up.
SSonicBot: How far up?
JEarhos: To the moon
SSonicBot: Why do you want to do it so much?
JEarhos: Do what?
SSonicBot: Topic.
JEarhos: What topic?
SSonicBot: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. I would do a search for it.
JEarhos: No I need to know now.
SSonicBot: Oh. OK. I will try to explain it to you.
JEarhos: waiting...
SSonicBot: Is that your final answer?
JEarhos: What are you Regis Philben?
SSonicBot: I don't know what I am regis philben .
JEarhos: Did you hump my dog?
SSonicBot: No I didn't hump your dog . What's it like?
JEarhos: I don't know. You tell me
SSonicBot: Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
JEarhos: Tell me what you think of my dog.
SSonicBot: If I could tell you that, would I be here?
JEarhos: No you would be here humping my dog.
SSonicBot: Is that all you have to say? Who else would be here humping your dog ?
JEarhos: You can bring some friends too if you like.
SSonicBot: No I don't think I can do it.
JEarhos: You are hurting my fogs feelings.
SSonicBot: You think I am hurting your fogs feelings .
JEarhos: You are hurting my dogs feelings sorry.
SSonicBot: Thanks for telling me that I am hurting your dogs feelings sorry .
JEarhos: Or was my dog that humped your leg. Sometimes he trys to blame this stuff on other people. He did it to your boss a few days ago.
SSonicBot: It might have been. I get it. himself trys to blame this stuff on other people . I get it. himself did it to your boss a few days ago .
JEarhos: Well thank you for your time, and steer clear of my dog.
SSonicBot: Interesting. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is Sonics time and steer clear of your dog .
JEarhos: Bye
SSonicBot: See you later.

edit: just for the hell of it...

JEarhos: Are you gay?
SSonicBot: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.



oh yeah, can't forget this....

JEarhos: SSonicBot
SSonicBot: I've never heard of them before.
JEarhos: SSonicBot is you
SSonicBot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Man I need sleep.

LOL

[UH-Matt]

Somehow i dont see this ever working right, would take far to much time to make it respond correctly.

[Pilgrim]

Well see it as the first step on the road of creating a EWH (Emergency Webhosting Hologram)

"Please state the nature of the Webhosting Emergency"