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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Pakistan
    Posts
    2,752

    20 golden rules for any office!

    1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

    2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

    3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

    4. Ph.D. stands for “Pull Him Down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

    5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

    6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

    7. It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.

    8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

    9. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

    10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

    11. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

    12. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

    13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

    14. If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

    15. Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous”.

    16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

    17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.

    18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

    19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

    20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

    I'm Zafar Ahmed.
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    West Michigan, USA
    Posts
    9,675
    Very good!

    --Tina
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  3. #3
    lol i thought some of it was funny!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Quad Cities, Iowa
    Posts
    1,597
    Quote Originally Posted by Zafar Ahmed View Post
    7. It doesnít matter what you do, it only matters what you say youíve done and what you are going to do.

    In my experience. It doesn't matter what you've done, what you say you've done or what you say you are going to do. The only thing that matters is what your doing about a second after your wife asks you to do something (and in my case, it better be what my wife asked me to do).
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    298
    number 20 is the best

    Liam

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Zeeland, MI
    Posts
    437
    I like number 20 as well.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    1,380
    #3 is so true. Don't work too hard this new year.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Pakistan
    Posts
    2,752
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard View Post
    #3 is so true. Don't work too hard this new year.
    Well, yes. That is my favorite one as well.

    Work smarter not harder
    I'm Zafar Ahmed.
    I provide
    SEO Services & eMarketing consultancy
    I'll be glad to hear from you

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    The Woodlands, Tx
    Posts
    5,962
    Hmm, I got this in a spam...

  10. #10
    Nice post, definitely true in some respects.
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  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    The PitLane
    Posts
    2,874
    The 'Golden Rule'

    a. Marrying the Bosses Daughter (or Son) is a 'Good Thing'
    b. Screwing any of the Bosses Family is a 'Bad Thing'.
    c. Letting the Boss Screw you is often unavoidable.

    But remember, most of the fun is in breaking the rules - -
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