(...)I noticed however that Hotmail seems to
whitelist some services, among others AOL and ...Hotmail (yes, they are still compatible with themselves for the time being).
So, to solve my problem, I opened a free account with AOL, and a paid account with MSN Hotmail ($20 a year). Now, if I need to write to someone with a MSN / Hotmail address, I use either AOL or Hotmail. Both work with my Outlook Express, but neither of them allows me to send mail from
me@my_domain.com ; I must send mail from
my_msn_id@msn.com or from
my_aol_id@aol.com with REPLY-TO
me@my_domain.com . It does not look as professional, but at least my email arrives OK; and if someone uses Hotmail as their primary email, they most likely don't make the difference anyway.
Another way to bypass Hotmail's filters, if you prefer that route, is to add an attachment of at least 500kB to your email to Hotmail. Emails with attachments over a certain size are not screened and should not end up in the junk mail folder.
In all cases, experiment by yourself with a test Hotmail account.