I have been reading these forums and quiet a few others for about two days now.
I have create a remote mysql database in whm for another server on my network. Now my problem is that the remote mysql in fact works as the data is still being pulled from it with mysql disabled on the main server. I did however put in the root password during the remote mysql server setup. Now the only problem I seem to be having is the databases dont show up in any cpanel accounts and phpmyadmin doesnt work. but all sites using a database made before this change still work.
try connecting to the database with the cpanel username from the remote server where mysql runs. If not try granting the privileges for the cpanel user to the database in the remote server. Actually sites uses the database user and password that you make, but the phpmyadmin shows the databases only if the cpanel username have privilege over the database.