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  1. #1
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    Aug 2003
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    Cool IRS Audit [joke]

    The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.
    The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
    The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
    full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
    gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
    "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a
    demonstration?"
    The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
    Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
    eye."
    The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
    Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
    The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand
    dollars that I can bite my other eye."
    The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
    Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
    The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
    with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
    "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand
    dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
    wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
    between."
    The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
    decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
    again.
    Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
    strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
    other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
    The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
    loss into a huge win.
    But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
    "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
    "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd
    been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he
    could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that
    you'd be happy about it."
    if you haven't considered chapter 7 bankruptcy, maybe you should.
    eliminate your debt, keep the property you want, most people qualify.
    contrary to popular belief - no attorney is necessary!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    UK
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    174
    hehe good one, seems its a spin off of a joke on the film Desperado,

    cant remember it exacally but,

    guy walks up to the barman, and says i'll bet you $2000 that i can piss in that glass over there from here.. without spilling a single drop!
    barman looks at the glass which is a good 20ft away.. barman says ok..

    so guy unzips.. starts pissing... hes pissing EVERYWHERE on the bar, on the floor, on the stools even the barman gets soaked! hes pissing on everything except the glass!

    the barmans laughing his head off hes just won 2k piss dripping off his face laughing his head off.. the guy zips back up and has a big grin on his face.. barman says what you so happy about you just lost 2k you idiot..

    guy says well ya see the guys at that table over there?
    i just bet them $10,000 that i can piss on your bar, your floor, your stools, and piss on you! and not only would you not be mad about it.. you'd be happy..

    lol

    good film

  3. #3
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    desperado?? the robert rodriguez film? i dont remember that part.
    if you haven't considered chapter 7 bankruptcy, maybe you should.
    eliminate your debt, keep the property you want, most people qualify.
    contrary to popular belief - no attorney is necessary!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    174
    yep thats the one just grabbed the dvd to make sure thats who made it

    its when antonio banderas's little sidekick does into the bar to find out if 'budro' hangs out there.. and he tells them that story i think

    pretty sure its that film gonna watch it now hehe

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    UK
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    174
    ok its 24minutes into the film, but its not his sidekick telling the story,

    its quintin tarantino

    that was bugging me

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