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  1. #1

    Girlfriend's Past???

    How does one get over his girlfriend's past.

    I'm going out with this girl, for about four months, everything is going fine and she's very self-respecting and trustworthy. I'm 19, she's 17.

    However about 18months ago she had a one-night stand with a friend of mine, never since. The friend (rather part of drinking group) is a a complete woman user, has no respect for anyone apart of himself, which makes it a hell of a lot worse, I have good friends that I know if it happened with them I wouldn't think twice.

    I keep getting pictures of it in my mine, I quiz her over it, every little details I find myself having to know, I ask the same question two or three times, I wish it never happened. It upsets hers that I can't just forget about it.

    I know I'm being patheic (before you tell me), I want to get it out of my head, but it stresses me, all I want of peace of mind and to be able to love her unconditionally.

    Will I grow out of this, I want too...

    Thanks.

  2. #2
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    I have no idea

    what this has to do with web hosting, but here goes.

    You have only been dating her for 4 months and this happened 18 months ago? Do you really think there are many virgins left out there?
    I think Chris Rock said it best "don't ask about your ladies past just be happy you are the one getting it now". You have to stop judging her on her past and judge her on the present, and I suspect if you do not realize this soon and accept she is with you now and drop the past that had nothing to do with you, she will get feed up and drop you.

    Another point that may help, drop the friend keep the girl, maybe not seeing the drinking buddy will help you forget about it. If you love her enough get new friends.

    Monte
    Last edited by The3bl; 06-21-2002 at 10:21 AM.

  3. #3
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    This same exact thing happened to me. As the previous poster said you have to get over it or adventually she will leave as this is what happened with me. Luckely mine came back. Ofcoarse by that time we had been married and had a child together so she didn't have much of a choice.

    At any rate since I have moved past it we have gotten along 400% better (Like we was when we had only been dating for 2 or 3 months. )

    Anyway that is in her past. I heard this saying one time. "The current definition of a virgin is an ugly third grader." I know that is a bit of an exageration but if she hadn't been with your friend it would have been someone else.

    Basically you have to get used to the fact she has had other people in the past, and it is just that. The past. As long as she didn't contract anything don't worry about it.

    What is important is the here and now.

    Do you love her?
    Does she love you?

    If you truly love each other you do not have to worry about her cheating on you or leaving you for the next good thing that comes along.

    Basically I guess I am saying that her past isn't important. The now is important.

    Love
    Commitment
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    Michael
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    What? Were you a virgin when you met her or something? You have no past yourself?

    Get over it or you will not have her for a girlfriend anymore anyway. Problem solved.

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    I have to say that I have been on the other end of this thing. My friend has never gotten over it (we are mere aquaintances now), and they aren't even seeing each other anymore. The thing is, it was a one night thing and we were aware shortly thereafter that there was no future in it. She and I are still friends. My point is, friendships are more important in the long run. Peripheral emotions are what attach meaning to sex. Learn that at this age and you will be light years ahead of your friends.

  7. #7
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    Girlfriend? What's that?
    ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ

  8. #8
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    If I had a girlfriend hopefully I wouldnt have enough time to fill up these boards with my sensless posts......As im sure most of you can relate ;]

    Not that Im not attractive I just don't make time for females.....

    If you've been going out with her for 4 months and she had sex with him 12 ago, theres no problem what so ever, and if thats the biggest of your worries, you need to experience life more, if she had sex with him while you were going out, then there might be some issues to resolve..

    Im pretty sure the girl I like right now was in some pornography in her past, but shes awsome and I realize that stuff like that dosent matter now....(she also does have a boyfriend right now, which does matter )

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    Im pretty sure the girl I like right now was in some pornography in her past
    Now that would be tough.

  10. #10

    Re: Girlfriend's Past???

    Originally posted by Coyote
    How does one get over his girlfriend's past.

    I know I'm being patheic....


  11. #11
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    *

    I bet she mentions that other guy sometimes just to piss you off, doesn’t she? Relax - it’s normal...

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    Kick her to the curb.

  13. #13
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    Get over it.

    Years from now what seems like the biggest issue in your life now will be a complete non-event. You will kick yourself mentally for wasting even another second of thought or worry on this.

    Of far more importance in your young life is my poll:
    Bearded or not?
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  14. #14
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    Your girlfriend has a beard!?

  15. #15
    You shouldn't be having sex before you get married anyway...


    So buy a dedicated server from me, and I'll hook you up with a Russian bride and all your problems are solved!!

  16. #16
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    Re: I have no idea

    Originally posted by Monte
    what this has to do with web hosting, but here goes.
    Hence, the reason he posted it in the lounge and not in any other forum. According to the description of the lounge, you can post anything not related to hosting. "Forum for general conversation, share interests, have a laugh or discuss anything not related to above or below forums."

  17. #17
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    Your current version has a big hole and is exploitable with potential root compromises. You need to upgrade to Girlfriend 2.0 immediately! It's been de-virginatized for your safetly and passed all the current virus checks in it's system.

  18. #18
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    Originally posted by Tim_Greer
    Your current version has a big hole and is exploitable with potential root compromises. You need to upgrade to Girlfriend 2.0 immediately! It's been de-virginatized for your safetly and passed all the current virus checks in it's system.
    All i can say is

  19. #19
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    Now that is good. You must have started the Friday night party early.

  20. #20
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    If you're over 18 and the person you're dating is under 18 isn't it illegal to have sex with them?

    --Brian
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  21. #21
    .
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  22. #22
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    Doesn't the age of consent vary? Try to look that up using google and you will find some rather disturbing stuff.

  23. #23
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    I'm not accusing, I'm simply curious. I know here in Massachusetts that's the rule, or atleast I'm pretty sure it is ;-)
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  24. #24
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    Back on topic. I agree with the advice to try to forget about it or it will do some serious damage to the relationship (most likely terminal). Hard to, yes, but you have to somehow divert your attention away from the topic when it pops into your head, don't discuss it with her. She doesn't want to discuss it, nor relive it 600 times and she'll get sick of that quickly (if she hasn't already). Distancing yourself from the guy might help.
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  25. #25
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    Hint: Become a bit more like you friend, the woman-user... trust me you will like the results

  26. #26
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    sharefile... are you trying to be an @sshole or does that just come naturally?
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  27. #27
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    Originally posted by DanielP
    sharefile... are you trying to be an @sshole or does that just come naturally?
    M8, you have to be an @sshole to get a piece of arse... I don't like this "game" either but it is fact. When I "del niceguy.rob" and replaced it with "badguy.rob" I suddenly had the sucess I always wanted.

    Women want a MAN. Obviously a MAN for them is someone who drives a BMW and treats them like crap. I could give you a psychological insight in WHY this is so cause I read that book about it but it'll be too much for a post

  28. #28
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    LoL, its only fact if you make it fact for yourself. Being a womanizer and treating women poorly will get you no where, but then again don't blame me when your an old lonely fart who never got any commitment in his life and has so many regrets. Or maybe you won't even get that far because you picked the wrong woman to treat like **** and she decides to blow your brains out.

    Think with your head and your heart, not your undersized dick.

    Women deserve to be treated with respect and love, otherwise what you think your getting is nothing more than a high priced whore who takes her fee's another way.
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  29. #29
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    I don't disagree with what you say, only with THIS
    Originally posted by DanielP
    ... not your undersized dick.
    ... in case you meant normal sized I agree 100%

  30. #30
    It seems like she doesn't want to talk to you about it ...and that means she does not want to talk about the other guy. She obviously cares about you, not about him so give her a chance.
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  31. #31
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    Originally posted by ShareFile


    M8, you have to be an @sshole to get a piece of arse... I don't like this "game" either but it is fact. When I "del niceguy.rob" and replaced it with "badguy.rob" I suddenly had the sucess I always wanted.

    Women want a MAN. Obviously a MAN for them is someone who drives a BMW and treats them like crap. I could give you a psychological insight in WHY this is so cause I read that book about it but it'll be too much for a post
    <-- Does not have an ******* boyfriend but gets lots and lots of sex. I hope to God you are being sarcastic, otherwise you know nothing about women

  32. #32
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    Re: Girlfriend's Past???

    Originally posted by Coyote
    I can't just forget about it.
    Don't worry, you'll get over it, I promise.
    Just try not to wreck anything until then...

    Hey, ever dated a girl that, each time she talks to you about a male friend of hers, ALWAYS ends up saying something like "oh, and we slept together"? I've been there, it can quickly make your head spin, math-wise
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  33. #33
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    Originally posted by secludo


    <-- Does not have an ******* boyfriend but gets lots and lots of sex. I hope to God you are being sarcastic, otherwise you know nothing about women
    Only speaking of experience... I don't like this either - I am very sensitive and romantic by nature - BUT... you know the rest...

  34. #34
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    Well getting upset and angry about the fact your girlfriend has had sex before she met you is a great way to end up looking like a tosser. So what if she has. She's with you now, so just be happy you have her, and treat her right. If you want to act like a fool then you'll find yourself sleeping alone soon enough and then won't have to worry about her at all. Problem solved.

    Try the other shoe on for size. Imagine you have a girlfriend who's on your back about your past all the time, bringing it up, then getting all shirty because you have a past she's not a part of.. Not very nice eh?

    Contrary to what many people these days seem to think, you're *not* the center of the universe, and people *do* go and have a life without you there. Accept it and move along...

    Greg Moore
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  35. #35
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    Hey ShareFile, I have seen some pictures you posted in another forum. You must have to be the biggest arsehole in the world to get chicks. Because with that haircut, you need all the help you can get......


  36. #36
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    man, its getting more intemet here on WHT as the week passes. were did love come from. lol

  37. #37
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    Originally posted by UmBillyCord
    Hey ShareFile, I have seen some pictures you posted in another forum. You must have to be the biggest arsehole in the world to get chicks. Because with that haircut, you need all the help you can get......

    Yep, agree 100%... as I said, you can look like horsecrap as long as you are a complete a$$hole women will LOVE you

    Do I really look THAT bad??
    Check www.rackshack.net there is a picture of a guy next to some racks... now THATs ugly!

  38. #38
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    That certain person happens to own this forum
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  39. #39
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    lol, yup thats the 'head surfer' or something

  40. #40
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    Originally posted by NumLock
    lol, yup thats the 'head surfer' or something
    All I have to say to this is: If you SURF the net with your HEAD, don't complain you got no HAIR

    <<<NON-MOD EDIT>>>


    That certain person happens to own this forum
    So what do you mean? That he will abuse his position to ban me? Robert might b ethe owner of RS but he is not a Lamer... at least as far as I know
    Last edited by StarGate; 06-22-2002 at 06:16 PM.

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