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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Twin Cities Area

    * funny us citizen joke

    (i dont know if this is a joke or not, but it is funny!)

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC , 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,

    Pete McGlaughlin
    if you haven't considered chapter 7 bankruptcy, maybe you should.
    eliminate your debt, keep the property you want, most people qualify.
    contrary to popular belief - no attorney is necessary!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Littleton, MA
    Sadly that makes a lot of sense :-\
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Yet again the system is giving tax-paying citizens the finger, and giving illegal immigrants a pat on the back...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    I hate systems that are broken

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by daniel_grant
    Yet again the system is giving tax-paying citizens the finger, and giving illegal immigrants a pat on the back...
    So true. That's the problems with systems, they shouldn't make them as complicated, and base them off common sense, so it's nearly impossible to cheat.

  6. #6
    I read it on the Internet, it must be true!


  7. #7
    It's quite pity when such things happen in reality.

  8. #8
    Ever considered minuses of being "an illegal alien"?

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