I could have posted this in a blog or in some news group but I think it should be worthy audience of WHT.
Today, I found out where I came from. Until this day my mother had refuses to tell me about my father, who he was, where he came from, why he wasnt here and just kept avoiding the question. It takes alot of courage to ask the question if for your entire life you have been denied an answer.
I plucked up the courage after about 5 years to ask her and I finally got an answer. My father was a married man and he had an affair with my mother and my mother basically didnt want to deal with his family so she basically cut their ties. To be honest, I found this a relief. When something such as an unknown parent is with you from a young age and you are refused an answer it only adds to your suspicion and to the empty hole in your life. Anyone on the street knew as much about my father as I did and I remember an insult in school one time, "At least I have a dad". Every week for years I have thought about it, thinking of more ridiculous things. Rape, sperm bank, fathering running away etc... and it only adds to the "pain".
I am very relieved to now know. I keep thinking how lucky I am, not to have been aborted, I'm sure it would have been much easier for her than to go through the embarresment of telling her family about the entire thing and go on with her life as normal. It must have taken alot of courage and whereas before I did not have a view on abortion, I am just thinking that I would have never existed had my mother of chose the easy way out.
Im glad that now I can stop thinking about it and I really have no desire to find out who my father is because if I was in his situation I know it would just interfere with his life.
This has also got me thinking about sperm bank donations, I saw on the news the other day that many single women are now choosing to get sperm donations. I think this is so selfish because a child needs both a mother and father to grow up properly and one only adds to their mental pain.
Thank you for reading.