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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    * When to draw the line

    Hi fellow WHT'ers,

    I've just come back from a friends birthday party. Up until 8:00 we had all drunk about 5 beers. We were having a laugh, and a lark but nothing serious.
    However, before soon, my friend began to pour beer over people and my friends were climbing on the roofs of peoples houses.
    As of that moment I decided to stop drinking.
    They were calling me gay and making me feel generally uncomfortable.
    I understand that they don't mean what they said as they were under the influence of alcohol but it was nevertheless offensive.
    I tried to pass it off.
    At about half eight no-one was acting logically and people were starting to get angry with each other - a full scale fight almost broke out.
    About 2 hours later, I said goodbye to whoever hadn't stumbled drunkenly down the road and walked home.
    I don't wan't to sing my own praises but (in a way) I suppose I deserve to be able to (to some extent).

    I feel proud that I acted on principle and (although I may not be liked for it now by my friends) i'm glad I did what I did.
    My dad called me - "a man of principle" and (as I don't have much confidence) this has helped me alot.

    I now for myself (even if nobody else does) that I am a man of principle and this is one thing I can be proud of.

    When do you think it is time to draw the line when you are in such a situation?

    Jord
    Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Miami, FL
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    3,262
    The minute someone gets drunk and can no longer control themselves, that's where I draw the line.

    About 6 months ago I was at a friends party and the similiar thing happened. To top it off, this one chick got so wasted that she passed out. I had to help her to the bathroom (where she passed out again) and then helped her to the bedroom to sleep it off.

    Not very responsible to get drunk and have other people helping you. I went to have fun, not to babysit.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Florida, USA
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    556
    You did the right thing. Your friends were way out of line to go on top of other houses. They deserved to go to jail for that crap.

    I'm not saying you should not be friends with them, and I hope you are not offended by me saying so, but I would not choose to hang out with those types of people. If they act like that, they're losers.

    When is the right time to draw the line? In my opinion, if people want to hurt themselves they can go and do that. But the moment they start hurting others, or things that belong to others, they suck.

    I have a hard time making friends with people my age because so many of them think the only way to have a good time is to get drunk and have sex with anything that moves. I consider myself lucky that I am able to find people like myself who I am friends with.

  4. #4
    Originally posted by JonMB
    get drunk and have sex with anything that moves.
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    NY USA
    Posts
    839
    Get drunk, throw beer, knock eachother out, fine...

    Alcohol + Climbing houses = accident waiting to happen...

    If I were you I'd have walked sooner, but good move keeping your cool


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  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Also, to add...

    Your friends will be over the whole thing within 24 hours.
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    7,029
    Originally posted by Rob83
    The minute someone gets drunk and can no longer control themselves, that's where I draw the line.
    That is where I draw the line as well. One of my friends who get drunk acts like a total moron when he gets so many beers in him. If he wants to get that drunk and act stupid he can do it but by him self. I am not sure how many times we got kicked out of a place because of him.

  8. #8
    Originally posted by Rob83
    The minute someone gets drunk and can no longer control themselves, that's where I draw the line.

    About 6 months ago I was at a friends party and the similiar thing happened. To top it off, this one chick got so wasted that she passed out. I had to help her to the bathroom (where she passed out again) and then helped her to the bedroom to sleep it off.

    Not very responsible to get drunk and have other people helping you. I went to have fun, not to babysit.
    I agree with you fully, Rob. A lot of 'accidents' happen when people are 'drunk'

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Posts
    892
    That's some pretty strong beer.


    I've been boozing for quite some time and I'll have to agree with Rob83. If you can't control yourself take it a bit easier.

    You definately did the right thing effusion. You were there to have a good time. The moment you stop having a good time or the moment you stop feeling comfortable with the people around you LEAVE. people may make fun of you at the time, but they'll respect you for it later.

    As for me, I usually drink amongst friends that aren't really prone to doing silly things like that.

    But I can recall some hazy memories of leaving parties when I fet a really had to get out of there. ie fat girls chasing me.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
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    5,460
    I didn't realize I was a member of Adolescence 101.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    The South
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    You draw the line when YOU feel uncomfortable with the situation.

    I have friends I'll get sloppy drunk with, and I have friends who I won't so much as drink socially with, not because I don't like them but because I don't like them when they drink. Some people are not pleasant when they get a little tipsy, and some people just mellow out and have a good time.
    Gary Harris - the artist formerly known as Dixiesys
    resident grumpy redneck

  12. #12
    Call me crazy, but I draw the line before the first drink. I think a lot of that has to do with being a mom now, but I've been down that road and it doesn't lead to anything good.


    Effusionx1, you did the right thing to walk away. I've got to agree with Take-IT-EZZI about leaving sooner. But you did the right thing!
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  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
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    892
    Originally posted by Dixiesys
    You draw the line when YOU feel uncomfortable with the situation.

    I have friends I'll get sloppy drunk with, and I have friends who I won't so much as drink socially with, not because I don't like them but because I don't like them when they drink. Some people are not pleasant when they get a little tipsy, and some people just mellow out and have a good time.

    I'm just going to go ahead and quote this for truth.

    If I had a drinking team, Dixiesys would be my first draft pick.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    Greater Chicagoland
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    181
    A couple years ago some college kids were renting a house down the street from us. Over Labor Day weekend they were having a party. In the middle of the night 5 of them thought it'd be fun to go out in the paddle boat (seats 2 people). Only 4 of them came back. We had helicopters, boats, etc searching all night and all day. They found him a few days later about 5 feet from their pier.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Northern VA
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    Is the birth date in your profile correct and that you and your friends are about 16-17 years old?

    A good number of 18-22 year olds are irresponsible drinkers.

    If you're asking for advice then I advise you to find high school friends that don't drink at all. I have nothing against alcohol and drink myself but I've yet to encounter "responsible" high school partiers whose partying centers around alcohol.
    Rich
    Husband, Father, Retired Marine, Geek

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    7,029
    Originally posted by DevilDog
    Is the birth date in your profile correct and that you and your friends are about 16-17 years old?

    A good number of 18-22 year olds are irresponsible drinkers.

    If you're asking for advice then I advise you to find high school friends that don't drink at all. I have nothing against alcohol and drink myself but I've yet to encounter "responsible" high school partiers whose partying centers around alcohol.
    Well when I go drinking I have to make sure I do not drink to much, because I have to make sure my friends do not hurt them selfs some how. Over all they can be ok, but I have seen them do stupid stuff before. Like when I went to Canada my friend was burning his hand with a lighter. When I found out I had to take the lighter away.

    It is a pain some times .

  17. #17
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    Aug 2002
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    1,596
    I would love to go to parties with my friends but the reason I don't go to parties at all is because people drink. When people drink, it is a scarey situation for me.

    It seems that to some people to have fun is to go crazy with drinking and throwing up. This spring semester, my friend was talking to her roommate in their dorm about drinking. They were talking about how fun it is to throw up.
    Mind me...she is 25 (according to her license...I had a peek while she was trying to hide it from me and showing it to the lady at the cashier machine at the store)....but she tells me that she is 21. At 25 years old and drinking like crazy?

  18. #18
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    Jan 2004
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    7,029
    Originally posted by indiaberry
    I would love to go to parties with my friends but the reason I don't go to parties at all is because people drink. When people drink, it is a scarey situation for me.

    It seems that to some people to have fun is to go crazy with drinking and throwing up. This spring semester, my friend was talking to her roommate in their dorm about drinking. They were talking about how fun it is to throw up.
    Mind me...she is 25 (according to her license...I had a peek while she was trying to hide it from me and showing it to the lady at the cashier machine at the store)....but she tells me that she is 21. At 25 years old and drinking like crazy?
    Throwing up is cool?

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
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    1,596
    Originally posted by Torith
    Throwing up is cool?
    Yep, and to me...that is one of the stupid thing I have heard. They knew I don't drink but still they have their conversation as if I wasn't there. The way they talk about it was as if they enjoyed it.

  20. #20
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    Jul 2001
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    892
    well sometimes you've got to make room for another drink...

  21. #21
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    Part of the "thrill" of getting drunk for some is just acting completely and incredibly imature and irresponsible. I guess this goes away with age (for most), but it's still irresponsible.

    I have very few people I'll go drinking with any more, mainly because of me acting like an idiot as a kid, and getting stabbed 3x in the back (not one of my more favorite memories). For me, it's not a matter of how much, but how much $$$ I have to spend.

    I don't drink beer, I stick to a usual drink (captain & coke), which, around here goes for about $3-$5 depending on the bar. Now I can HANDLE a good 10 or so drinks, and be responsible with it, but my wallet (usually) can't, so I have 3-4, call it a night and go home. By that point I'm happy.

    Drinking means drinking responsibly, both financially (heh) and physically. If you can't exactly stand up, it's WELL past time to draw the line. If you start doing something you wouldn't normally do, again, well past time
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  22. #22
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    Dec 2003
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    I think I'm one of the only people in grades 10-12 who has never drunk. It's probably more because I don't have much of a social life than anything else, as I'm sure if I did, I'd be drinking, if only from "peer pressure."

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Manchester, UK
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    Originally posted by DevilDog
    Is the birth date in your profile correct and that you and your friends are about 16-17 years old?

    A good number of 18-22 year olds are irresponsible drinkers.

    If you're asking for advice then I advise you to find high school friends that don't drink at all. I have nothing against alcohol and drink myself but I've yet to encounter "responsible" high school partiers whose partying centers around alcohol.
    Yes, my profile age is correct. I'm 16 years of age and will be 17 on October the 20th of this year. However, I live in the UK and so can drink legally.
    I have no problem with drinking responsibly, the odd joke, the odd dig, the odd rugby tackle but my friends crossed the line.
    (Apart from one who also decided to go home early).

    I would agree with you totally, young drinkers are irresponsible drinkers generally.
    However, I could pick just three friends of mine and be sure in the knowledge that it would all remain friendly and just a laugh.

    There were one or two guys "friends" who I have never really considered to be good friends but it was one of those peoples parties. His friend became violent and then some of my friends who are easily influenced by those two guys joined in - it was a domino effect.

    Jord
    Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius

  24. #24
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    Drink legally at 16? The age is 18?
    It's Scott!

  25. #25
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    Feb 2005
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    Oh, you're British...that explains it.

    Royal Marines definitely like their beer.

    Seriously, regardless of culture. I think it's too young. Alcohol has a tendency to cause problems as you've described because young men tend to associate heavy drinking with being masculine. Some people are very angry drunks.
    Rich
    Husband, Father, Retired Marine, Geek

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