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07-13-2005, 01:53 PM #1Web Hosting Master
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Suggestion for an ad in a VERY large magazine.
I'm going to be advertising an ink company (printer ink) in a very large national magazine with 5.1 million readers. I need the ad to be perfect and atract a lot of customers. Please comment on the following text. While grammar is important, I'm even more concerned with creating a catchy ad that may attract customers. What do you think?
Title: (25 Characters max with spaces)
Ink Cartridge Alternative
Sub-Title: (50 Characters max with spaces)
Stop Spending and Start Saving
Body: (400 Characters max with spaces)
At Swift Ink, our goal has always been to deliver a wide selection of high quality, earth friendly products at a highly competitive price. We use dye and pigmented based inks according to OEM standards for the best possible color matching. Give us a try, we guarantee top-notch results or your money back.
Use coupon code XXXXXXXX by 10/31/05 for 15% off your first order.
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07-13-2005, 01:55 PM #2Web Hosting Master
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Be more confrontational with the reader, use rhetorical questions, don't bang on about standards (the average reader doesn't care).
Make a rhyme!
Those are my suggestions...
JordOur greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius
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07-13-2005, 02:01 PM #3Web Hosting Master
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I appreciate your advice. Can you make a specific suggestion as to some text that may attract readers?
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07-13-2005, 02:06 PM #4Web Hosting Master
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Re: Suggestion for an ad in a VERY large magazine.
Originally posted by azo313
I'm going to be advertising an ink company (printer ink) in a very large national magazine with 5.1 million readers.
Are you advertising in PC Magazine by chance?
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07-13-2005, 02:06 PM #5Junior Guru
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Re: Suggestion for an ad in a VERY large magazine.
Originally posted by azo313
I'm going to be advertising an ink company (printer ink) in a very large national magazine with 5.1 million readers. I need the ad to be perfect and atract a lot of customers. Please comment on the following text. While grammar is important, I'm even more concerned with creating a catchy ad that may attract customers. What do you think?
Title: (25 Characters max with spaces)
Ink Cartridge Alternative
Sub-Title: (50 Characters max with spaces)
Stop Spending and Start Saving
Body: (400 Characters max with spaces)
At Swift Ink, our goal has always been to deliver a wide selection of high quality, earth friendly products at a highly competitive price. We use dye and pigmented based inks according to OEM standards for the best possible color matching. Give us a try, we guarantee top-notch results or your money back.
Use coupon code XXXXXXXX by 10/31/05 for 15% off your first
order.
honestl - no offense. But u are totaly NOT ORIGINAL!!!
First of all u need to get fast attention - u need to get people notice u fast - cause it''s magazine and nobody buy magazine for ADS.
Here is what I would do - and u can take this free - send me copy in email if u ever use it.
Since it's a ink it's SUPERB "thing" to play with.
Here is what u do.
If is full page - get a 2 nice semi naked ladies - it would be perfect if they are like TWINS.
And then put sign.
TITLE (or can go below womans)
"Why buying "original" - when Alternative is same or better?"
(Below that u put)
Stop Spending and Start Saving
(and rest u put at bottom, small font - no wory it will do)
That's it!!!
The thing is u need to get attention - and when u use SEX (but in nice way - it's always a perfect way to go).
N.
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07-13-2005, 02:07 PM #6Web Hosting Master
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To me it sounds okay but I agree that it needs to Grab them more and maybe not sound like you are "trying"
<quote>
our goal has always been to deliver a wide selection of high quality, earth friendly products at a highly competitive price
</quote>
"Our goal has always been..."?? I would say "We always deliver..." Do you not?? You are not lying and saying something that is not true right? Put it out there and don't let the reader think that maybe someone else does it better.
Good luck I hope it works for you it is scary to risk it in the high priced ad markets but you have to try, we did it a few months ago and glad we spent the ca$h.
RobertLight travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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07-13-2005, 02:39 PM #7Web Hosting Master
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Re: Re: Suggestion for an ad in a VERY large magazine.
Originally posted by ichris
Are you advertising in PC Magazine by chance?
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07-13-2005, 04:23 PM #8Web Hosting Master
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Display this as your tag line:
"your sex is like our ink - natural, exciting and very fullfilling"
Display that in bold across the page - the sales will fly in
JordOur greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius
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07-13-2005, 05:14 PM #9Web Hosting Master
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Have any magazines handy? Look at some ads and read the copy. Not just any ads, but those that draw you in. Find, say, ten of them.
Now one quick question: how many of those ten use words like "we," "our," and "us" in their descriptions of their products or services?
I guess if you're only looking for a couple of hundred conversions out of whatever huge circulation you're dealing with it might not be worth it to you, but you really should consider hiring someone to write the copy and design the ad. Otherwise through trial and error you may eventually come up with something that works, but how many ads will have to run before that happens?Specializing in SEO and PPC management.
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07-13-2005, 06:09 PM #10Web Hosting Guru
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Re: Re: Re: Suggestion for an ad in a VERY large magazine.
Originally posted by azo313
Yes PC Magazine. Have you tried it? Any comments on the results I may expect? I'm only looking for 150+ conversions for this ad.
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07-13-2005, 06:37 PM #11Web Hosting Evangelist
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marketing 1101: show girl -> show product -> show girl
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07-13-2005, 08:33 PM #12Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by esh
marketing 1101: show girl -> show product -> show girl
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07-13-2005, 08:58 PM #13Web Hosting Master
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" look geek! We have the best ink for your print box, its cheaper than oru competitiers and the same quality, buy it and save, simple as that"
Might be a bit insulting, but might possibly be marketing genious! Some guys like things in control!
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07-13-2005, 09:00 PM #14Web Hosting Master
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The sex angle is cheap and tacky.
Your grammar, sentence structure and use of words needs working on - it doesn't read very fluidly.
I also don't like the "top-notch" and "guarantee" bit, particularly where you are also offering a coupon discount. Personally I don't like the idea of a money back guarantee as it makes the reader focus on the negative.
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07-13-2005, 10:14 PM #15Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by -T{H}R-
The sex angle is cheap and tacky.
Your grammar, sentence structure and use of words needs working on - it doesn't read very fluidly.
I also don't like the "top-notch" and "guarantee" bit, particularly where you are also offering a coupon discount. Personally I don't like the idea of a money back guarantee as it makes the reader focus on the negative.
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07-13-2005, 10:38 PM #16Web Hosting Master
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Will have a go tonight after work.
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07-13-2005, 10:40 PM #17Web Hosting Master
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Sounds great. I want to make it more catchy. I totally agree that mine is so plain. I appreciate your suggestions.