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06-21-2005, 09:09 PM #1Newbie
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Lets say you really like your best friends girlfriend....
What would you do? Lets say these two people are your best friends. You see them both pretty much every day. Lets say you spend a lot of time with the girl since she is off work before the boyfriend. You do almost everything together. You like her so much that the thought of going out and dating some other girl pretty much never comes to mind and when it does you think nothing of it. You do pretty much everything together with this girl, from hanging out to grocery shopping and think of her 24/7. They have been dating about three years and live together. Lets say it breaks your heart seeing them so happy together because you wish more than anything in the world that you could be him even just for a second. You have everything in common with her, this is why you got so close with her so fast. You are pretty much the same person as she is. You like the exact same music, tv shows, music, food, ect. You know she is 100% comfortable since you have fallen asleep together many times watching movies. You CAN'T say anything about this to anyone since you don't want to lose your best friend and you don't know what would become of the girl. What would you do?
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06-21-2005, 09:11 PM #2Web Hosting Master
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Dunk my head into cold water and remind myself of the situation
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06-21-2005, 09:12 PM #3Newbie
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Can't say that I tried that one yet
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06-21-2005, 09:12 PM #4Disabled
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I'm not sure what you are looking for here but if you even have thoughts of making a move on this girl then you are no friend at all.
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06-21-2005, 09:14 PM #5Web Hosting Master
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Well, unless you want to keep feeling these repressed thoughts, you're going to have tell both of them. It's pretty simple, really. You might lose one or both of them as friends, but at least then you've done all you can to make your position known. Perhaps she'll like you better, anyhow. Maybe she just thought you weren't interested in her romantically, so she never said or did anything.
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06-21-2005, 09:14 PM #6Newbie
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Originally posted by blue27
I'm not sure what you are looking for here but if you even have thoughts of making a move on this girl then you are no friend at all.0
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06-21-2005, 09:18 PM #7Web Hosting Master
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What your describing is what most people on cheaters end up on television because your friend trusts you with his girlfriend. I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for breaking up a 3 year relationship especially since they've been living together for that long. I can only say that you go out and find another girl who shares the same interests as you. I really like my friend alot and if she were single i'd ask her out, but since she has a boyfriend its a no go for me unless they were to break up.
Kerry Jones0
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06-21-2005, 09:18 PM #8Newbie
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We hang out together so much that people have been spreading around we are sleeping together on the side.
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06-21-2005, 09:21 PM #9Newbie
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Originally posted by Kerry Jones
What your describing is what most people on cheaters end up on television because your friend trusts you with his girlfriend. I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for breaking up a 3 year relationship especially since they've been living together for that long. I can only say that you go out and find another girl who shares the same interests as you. I really like my friend alot and if she were single i'd ask her out, but since she has a boyfriend its a no go for me unless they were to break up.0
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06-21-2005, 09:23 PM #10Web Hosting Master
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well it would be ok if they were to break up, but its always honorable to ask your friend first before asking her out. I had to do the same with one of my friends before asking his old ex out.
in simple terms... its just courtesty and respect.Kerry Jones0
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06-21-2005, 09:24 PM #11Newbie
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I just want to clear this up for everyone. I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE A MOVE TO BREAK UP THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Please understand that everyone. I would be a horrible friend if I was to do this and would never be able to look at myself again.
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06-21-2005, 09:24 PM #12Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by Jake721
We hang out together so much that people have been spreading around we are sleeping together on the side.0
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06-21-2005, 09:27 PM #13Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by Jake721
I would be a horrible friend if I was to do this and would never be able to look at myself again.0
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06-21-2005, 09:28 PM #14Newbie
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Originally posted by SniperDevil
Well, to rephrase what I said before, if you don't want to ruin your relationship with your [male] friend, I think your best bet would be to start hanging out with different people. It's very painful to like somebody romantically and to hang out with them so often, if they're not interested in you that way at all or if you have social restrictions like the ones you're describing. Sometimes, that's just how things work out. I don't know how much you want to go on hanging out with this girl just as a friend if your feelings extend beyond the boundaries of a friendship, and you certainly don't want to find yourself in a potentially "questionable" situation.0
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06-21-2005, 09:30 PM #15Newbie
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Originally posted by SniperDevil
There's a cure for that: get rid of all your mirrors.0
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06-21-2005, 09:33 PM #16Web Hosting Master
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Well, to rephrase what I said before, if you don't want to ruin your relationship with your [male] friend, I think your best bet would be to start hanging out with different people.
The only way your going to cure this is by finding a girlfriend that has alot in common with you and once you fall in love you won't have to worry about this at all. I'm sure there is plenty of single women in your area that have common interests with you.Kerry Jones0
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06-21-2005, 09:35 PM #17Eternal Member
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gah..
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06-21-2005, 09:35 PM #18Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by Jake721
Tried this. It only flew for less than a week. She was always asking me to go out somewhere and I really did miss her a lot. We always have a lot of fun together.0
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06-21-2005, 09:38 PM #19Web Hosting Master
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Why don't you tell her your feelings then??? Jeez, man, get it over with, because sooner or later, something's going to happen. I won't elaborate, because I have no idea what this "something" will be, but something will happen that will obstruct or promote your relationship(s).Kerry Jones0
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06-21-2005, 09:41 PM #20Newbie
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Originally posted by Kerry Jones
bad idea sniper because we don't know how the friend would react about this or it could indeed cause a breakup between the two.0
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06-21-2005, 09:43 PM #21Web Hosting Master
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Originally posted by Kerry Jones
bad idea sniper because we don't know how the friend would react about this or it could indeed cause a breakup between the two.0
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06-21-2005, 09:46 PM #22Aspiring Evangelist
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Most people are shallow, just be like everyone else. if your young go ahead and go for it, you can find another friend. but some people must be offended at that. So dont do that.
yes yes, flame on.0
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06-21-2005, 09:47 PM #23Newbie
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Originally posted by 3rdcoast
Most people are shallow, just be like everyone else. if your young go ahead and go for it, you can find another friend. but some people must be offended at that. So dont do that.
yes yes, flame on.0
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06-21-2005, 09:58 PM #24Retired Moderator
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Well, Jake, I guess my first question is do you think she feels the same for you? Has she given you any indication (serious flirting, etc)?
This is a tough situation, no doubt about it. I feel for you; I know how hard it is to want someone you can't have. I was in a similar situation except I was the one already involved with another. Some days you just feel like tearing your hair out, but (in my case) in the end all I could do was tell myself over and over that if it was meant to be between us it would eventually happen. It really took a lot of pressure off me and helped me relax.
FYI we did date briefly after my ex-bf and I broke up but then he (the new bf) went off to college and we just sort of reverted back to being good friends.
Good luck to you; I hope one way or another you're able to find happiness!<?php echo "Signature here"; ?>0
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06-21-2005, 10:00 PM #25Web Hosting Master
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Well it's not right to make a move now, if and only if they brake up then make sure you're around. You're like a shark smelling an open wound, you attack as soon as you smell it.
May I ask you how old you two are ? If you guys are young then I'm pretty sure that relationship with your friend won't last forever so you just have to be patient.Jean-Pierre Abboud / I'm the TekGURU
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