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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    4,377

    Traffic Stops & Cops

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    #14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

    #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#! *!."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but nowwe're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
    yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    and the best one . . . .

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    5,010

    Re: Traffic Stops & Cops

    Originally posted by virginia
    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.
    That one is classic

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boise, ID U.S.A.
    Posts
    3,503

    Re: Traffic Stops & Cops

    Originally posted by virginia
    #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
    I have never heard that one used. I suppose it could be a logical response to my saying that I don't know how fast I was going. However, it could be potentially self defeating if more than one defendant has appeared before the same judge in separate incidents and quoted the same police officer on it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    171

    Re: Traffic Stops & Cops

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
    yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.
    My favorites.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    7,033

    Re: Traffic Stops & Cops

    Originally posted by virginia


    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


    #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"


    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.

    I like these ones the best. Though I could just see someones face after them saying "Sir I am sorry I do not know how fast I was going."


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    1,468
    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.
    lol, for a minute i was like wtf.......???! ! then i finally got it
    All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    1,203
    Originally posted by Lord
    lol, for a minute i was like wtf.......???! ! then i finally got it
    It seems the Lord is a little slow today
    Automated Tendencies - Brand Management Agency from Baltimore, Maryland.
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