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  1. #1
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    Why do people lie?

    Why on earth do people lie? Then they cover it up with another lie? Or how about when they tell another person that they said something which they did not, but they come to that person and ask to find out the real truth. Then that person lies again? Is it so hard to tell the truth these days?????

    /end rant


  2. #2
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    Maybe a liar would know the answer. Ask Matt Mecham.

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    Any form of dishonesty--online or off--is just wrong!

  4. #4
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    <lie>
    I think this thread is interesting
    </lie>

    People lie because they don't want someone to know something don't they

    Jord
    Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius

  5. #5
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    Practically everyone lies, but does that make one a liar?

    For example, my daughter made dinner the other night. Frankly, it was terrible, but I ate that dinner with a huge smile on my face, and said it was wonderful. I was not telling the truth. Does that make me a liar?
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  6. #6
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    Yes, of course it makes you a liar

    There are white lies and black lies though. White lies are lies which really aren't that bad (above example is perfect) black lies are the lies that get you into trouble!

    People lie for many reasons, because they did something wrong, don't want someone to know something, want to keep something a secret (e.g if they're embarrsed about something). Sometimes people lie because they have to and not because they want to.

  7. #7
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    A good question to ask several of the world's most prominent politicians!
    I'm not sure whether or not I'd trust there answers though

  8. #8
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    I am a liar I think we all are..so does it really matter?

  9. #9
    Everyone lies at one point in their life. Simple.
    New Project: COMING!

  10. #10
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    <quote>
    1. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
    2. I invented the Internet.
    3. I did get 5 purple hearts in Vietnam :~P.
    4. I am a hot and sexy 17 year old girl and I can't get enough ***(in Internet Chatroom). </quote>

    LIE!!! and should not happen, this is wrong.

    <quote>
    1. Honey, no that dress does not make you look fat.
    2. You are much prettier than that super model.
    3. I find you more attractive today than the day I married you.
    4. You are a great cook.
    5. No, really I would rather go shoe shopping with you rather than play poker with my buddies.</quote>

    Still a lie but is this hurting anyone? Well maybe these are also as the could build animosity* in a relationship. But not something that is wrong in itself.

    Should we be so brutally honest to hurt other peoples feelings? Good question!! In some cases Yes, when? well if someone is going something that is going to hurt them or someone in the long wrong they should not be lied too to make them feel better.


    My 2 cents..

    Robert


    *Noun: Animosity - a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility
    Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  11. #11
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    Lying probably stems from fear

  12. #12
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    ooops I guess I really did not answer the original question.

    Why do people lie? I think, in most of the people I have dealt with, they lie because they have low self esteem and they want to boost themselves up.


    Robert
    Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  13. #13
    Telling lies is telling lies - whatever the reason. Lying to someone to save their feelings means that person cannot trust you. I would hate to find out someone lies to me just becuase they think the lying will make me feel better or would save me from being upset or hurt - I would far rather I knew I could trust that person to be an honest person whom I could rely on to tell me the truth, no matter what, I would really respect them. I would never trust their opinion again though if I knew they lied, even to say I looked thin when I looked fat.

    just my thoughts

  14. #14
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    Originally posted by juniper2
    Telling lies is telling lies - whatever the reason. Lying to someone to save their feelings means that person cannot trust you. I would hate to find out someone lies to me just becuase they think the lying will make me feel better or would save me from being upset or hurt - I would far rather I knew I could trust that person to be an honest person whom I could rely on to tell me the truth, no matter what, I would really respect them. I would never trust their opinion again though if I knew they lied, even to say I looked thin when I looked fat.

    just my thoughts

    I agree, I was more trying to be funny BUT.. When someone says Does this make me look fat... they already know the answer


    My wife would never ask me that question because even though she is Not fat I would say Yes just be be funny. hee hee. Yes I sleep on the couch a lot.

    Trust is important but if someone says "does my haircut look nice" and you would say "Hell no, that looks like crap" (because that is how you feel) I think I would rather be lied to and hear. Well it's not too bad.. There is a difference between that and other lies that do real damage.

    Some people are blunt and that works for them but I think they are more hated than respected. I hear people say "oh he is respected because he tells it the way it is" whatever.. he is feared and hated by many because many people like that use this bluntness to be hateful to others and call it honesty.

    Again just my 1.7685 cents

    Robert
    Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  15. #15
    You can tell the truth without being blunt. I would like to know there is one person in this world I can trust to be 100% honest with me. If my hair is horrible I would like to know, or I may keep on and on and on going and having the same style done again .... becuase I was told it was Okay .....

    I suppose I must be one of those people everyone hates rather than respects .. I think I must me as I sure aint got many friends ...

    oh well ...

  16. #16
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    I don't know, I think it's possible to tell the truth and be tactful. I don't think honesty demands we reveal every wicked thing that comes into our minds.

    "What's that you said Ms. Anderson? I'm sorry I was distracted by your large chest and was lusting after you and need you to repeat what you just said."

    Might technically be "honest" to tell somebody that but it is certainly not tactful. Extreme example above but I know many people that confuse being mean or uncouth with just "telling it how it is."
    Rich
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  17. #17
    Exactly. Yes it is possible to tell the truth AND be tactful. And to me people get far more respect. If someone asks my advice on something, how it looks or whatever, I will always give my honest opinion ..as tactfuly as I can. They should not ask the question if they do not want a truthful answer. I would like to think people could ask me anything, knowing I would 100% tell the truth and can be trusted to do so. If I lose friends in the process - that is their loss, not mine.

    Off my soapbox

  18. #18
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    Originally posted by DevilDog
    I don't know, I think it's possible to tell the truth and be tactful. I don't think honesty demands we reveal every wicked thing that comes into our minds.

    "What's that you said Ms. Anderson? I'm sorry I was distracted by your large chest and was lusting after you and need you to repeat what you just said."

    Might technically be "honest" to tell somebody that but it is certainly not tactful. Extreme example above but I know many people that confuse being mean or uncouth with just "telling it how it is."

    Well put that is probably a very good example of what I mean, sometimes I can not articulate what point I am trying to get across.

    I think there are people in the world, far too many of them, that lie for the sake of lying. If I had my choice I guess being friendless would be better than having people lie about Everything. Tact is a good thing though when breaking the bad news about the fancy new haircut.





    Robert
    Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  19. #19
    if you tell a white lie its just to make someone else feel good, or not to hurt feelings,
    now a black lie is the ones that you should watch out for...lol THERE EVIL..haha

  20. #20
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    Originally posted by Aussie Bob
    Practically everyone lies, but does that make one a liar?

    For example, my daughter made dinner the other night. Frankly, it was terrible, but I ate that dinner with a huge smile on my face, and said it was wonderful. I was not telling the truth. Does that make me a liar?
    Yea... that would make you a liar ... Why not tell her it wasn't great, and next time "here is how it could be better". Instead of lying to her and thinking it was good.. when it wasn't. You are "protecting" her feelings, instead of parenting her.

    My girlfriend, daughter, and I all have an open and trustworthy relationship. If she makes a dinner and its bad (although very rare) believe me, I will definitely tell her I did not like it. I will try to give her a suggestion on next time how it could possibly be better. I don't want to deceive and lie to her its good.. when it wasn't. I don't see how withholding the truth is a good thing. A lie is a lie is a lie.. no matter if its a "white" lie, or another lie.

    But ya know.. its your choice and that is fine. I was merely commenting on what I thought, in my opinion, if it was a lie or not... which I think it was
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  21. #21
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    Lies are completely subjective; what one person might deem to be a "lie" another might completely disagree (or actually agree, since a lie negates the truth ) with. Just to expand on Aussie Bob's example, if he were to tell his daughter that her dinner was great, even if it tasted like dog feces, his wife might actually think the dinner was, in fact, great, or might come out and admit that it wasn't very good.

    I don't think one can label a statement that happens to be false in that person's true opinion a "lie", because sometimes it is actually better to tactfully lie than it is to tactfully tell the truth. However, if someone's mother asks them, "Did you brush your teeth?" and the kid says he did even if he didn't, that's a real *lie*, in my book, because it truthfully did not happen the way he is describing it; it's basically an opinion versus a fact completely misrepresented.

    I always prioritize the truth over everything else; it's much easier to tell the truth, as you don't have to cover up lie after lie after lie, which happens all too often, even with seemingly trivial lies like the one about the kid not having brushed his teeth. Believe me: I've been there, and I've done that, as I'm sure we all have.

    Basically, if someone in critical health asks me how they look on a given day, I'm going to tell them that they look as though they are improving. However, if my mom makes a crappy dinner (rare, as she is a good cook, but plausible), I will make sure to tell her, if she asks. Again, I'll be tactful and I won't tell her unnecessarily, but I'll tell her.

  22. #22
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    Why do we find amusement in a character like compulsive liar Tommy Flanagan [actor Jon Lovitz]? Maybe it's because we get lied to so much in our lives that it's refreshing to hear someone do it with no effort applied to believability, so we are not deceived.
    Maybe it is the "childlike" level of competency in Tommy Flanagan's lies. I think adults find amusement in behaviors in children that we respond to angrily in the refined adult version. I think this is to give children a chance to rehearse and refine behavior that will serve them to survive later, without destroying them for their practice mistakes and experiments.

  23. #23
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    Lying is very simple... its either a lie or it isn't... I don't see how you can interprete it any differently.

    Being asked a question, and witholding the real answer = LIE

    Unfortunately nearly everyone is a lair. I know I have lied before... i'm sure just about everyone in the world has. I personally always try to tell the truth. If you ask me my opinion, I will tell you what I think.. even if you don't like it.
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  24. #24
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    If I was asked if I liked an outfit, I would have to say 'it isn't my style'. That is better than saying how ugly the outfit/dress look. lol.
    I guess instead of lying, people need to find other way to talk without giving the truth or lying. Yes, without answering the questions directly.

  25. #25
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    Originally posted by RealtorHost
    Lying is very simple... its either a lie or it isn't... I don't see how you can interprete it any differently.
    How nice for you. Everything is so black and white for you.
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  26. #26
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    When you are about to lie there is two simple little facts you need to remember.

    1. To lie you have to have a VERY good memory.
    2. The truth has a way of coming out in the end.

    Because my memory isn't that great I do my best not to lie, however I don't volunteer information. As an example when I meet a women I am interested in and she asks me if I am divorced from my daughters mother I just say, I don't explain that I have been married 4 times, the same when she say is there just you and your daughter at home, I say "yes" which of course is true, I don't explain I have 4 others to three other women. I just answer the questions asked, and I answer them truthfully.

    I am about to get a female boarder for the spare room, when that women asks me about my family I will say there is my daughter, my wife who is currently overseas and my self, I won't say we are separated.

    To obtain the truth and a full and complete picture of the thing or event in question you have to be very concise in your questions. I think a lot of people lie because it is easier than telling the truth, they seem to forget that eventually the lie will come back to bite them on the bum.

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  27. #27
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    Lieing just isn't worth it for me. I've gone both routes and honestly it's like 50 times easier to just tell the truth. Lieing requires way too much thought and devotion.
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  28. #28
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    Originally posted by RealtorHost
    Yea... that would make you a liar ... Why not tell her it wasn't great, and next time "here is how it could be better". Instead of lying to her and thinking it was good.. when it wasn't. You are "protecting" her feelings, instead of parenting her.

    My girlfriend, daughter, and I all have an open and trustworthy relationship. If she makes a dinner and its bad (although very rare) believe me, I will definitely tell her I did not like it. I will try to give her a suggestion on next time how it could possibly be better. I don't want to deceive and lie to her its good.. when it wasn't. I don't see how withholding the truth is a good thing. A lie is a lie is a lie.. no matter if its a "white" lie, or another lie.

    But ya know.. its your choice and that is fine. I was merely commenting on what I thought, in my opinion, if it was a lie or not... which I think it was
    I hate being rude, but why in the heck would you do that? Someone just took their time to accomodate you and cook your lazy butt dinner. At some point in time you have to say things to make people feel good about themselves. You know your girlfriend forgets your 'advice' or 'criticism' and instead just remembers that you said her meal sucks. There's a time for being a critic and passing your advice and there's a time as to when you need to be grateful for what you have.

    For those of you who are hosts, what do you do when you get a ticket that says something like "I just can't get this to work. Can you do it for me, I swear I'm an idiot!"

  29. #29
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    People lie because then can. It's an easy way of getting out of any kind of trouble (at first) or "promoting" yourself.

    Has anybody read West of Eden by Harry Harrison? If you haven't go pick up the trilogy, you won't regret it, trust me. In that book, one of the specifies can't lie and the other (human) can. The species that can't lie starts using the humans to lie for them... It's a fairly complex book, but one of my favorites.

  30. #30

    *

    I believe we have all lied atleast 100 times in our life. I know someone who has made bad choices about life that directly affected people close to her and she told lies as a means to escape the reality of those bad choices. When I asked her why she chose to lie about something that impacted someone else in such a profound way, the response was, “Doesn’t it make everything easier that my dad never finds out, I am sorry about what I did and I don’t want to hurt anyone else.” I am steadfast on my assumption that all lies trace back to the assumption that it will benefit the person who told the lie. Envision a scenario involving the compilation of your resume. Most people are tempted to lie about experience on their resumes to gain the benefits of a better job that they are not

  31. #31
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    Originally posted by JigMaster
    Most people are tempted to lie about experience on their resumes to gain the benefits of a better job that they are not
    No that's not lying. that's creative writing, with resumes the truth is boring, we need to embellish and emboss our employment history.

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  32. #32
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    Originally posted by Aussie Bob


    For example, my daughter made dinner the other night. Frankly, it was terrible, but I ate that dinner with a huge smile on my face, and said it was wonderful. I was not telling the truth.
    I'd have done exactly the same.

    (I have a daughter, too;) )

  33. #33
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    I prefer to ALWAYS know the truth. If truth hurts, ignorance is downright deadly. That being said, what kind of person would I be to ask others to always be truthful with me, no matter what, and for me to extend to them the same respect.

    The challenge is in telling the truth. It's easier to tell a lie AND spare someone's feelings than to tell them the truth and do the same. Show them they are worth the extra effort... tell the truth.

    That's the standard to which I aspire.

  34. #34
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    Originally posted by grrlTechie
    The challenge is in telling the truth. It's easier to tell a lie AND spare someone's feelings than to tell them the truth and do the same. Show them they are worth the extra effort... tell the truth.
    Exactly. Lying is based out of selfishness; when we lie, we actually don't want our own feelings to be hurt, our reputation to be harmed, our relationship to be obstructed, or our intentions to be hindered, even over those for whom we sometimes assume we are doing a favor by lying. Frankly, it seems the easier choice of the two when you have to make a split-second decision when someone asks how their dinner was, how their dress looks, or how they performed in a play. Why would one subject himself to the initial resistance and/or defensiveness from the person to whom you decided to tell the truth rather than lie? The only reason is enlightenment from logically thinking about it and hurtful previous experiences. After all, motivation [to change] is motivated by fear.

  35. #35
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    Originally posted by grrlTechie
    I prefer to ALWAYS know the truth. If truth hurts, ignorance is downright deadly. That being said, what kind of person would I be to ask others to always be truthful with me, no matter what, and for me to extend to them the same respect.

    The challenge is in telling the truth. It's easier to tell a lie AND spare someone's feelings than to tell them the truth and do the same. Show them they are worth the extra effort... tell the truth.

    That's the standard to which I aspire.
    My 7-year-old believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. We're ok. Really.

  36. #36
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    Originally posted by SniperDevil
    Exactly. Lying is based out of selfishness; when we lie, we actually don't want our own feelings to be hurt, our reputation to be harmed, our relationship to be obstructed, or our intentions to be hindered, even over those for whom we sometimes assume we are doing a favor by lying. Frankly, it seems the easier choice of the two when you have to make a split-second decision when someone asks how their dinner was, how their dress looks, or how they performed in a play. Why would one subject himself to the initial resistance and/or defensiveness from the person to whom you decided to tell the truth rather than lie? The only reason is enlightenment from logically thinking about it and hurtful previous experiences. After all, motivation [to change] is motivated by fear.
    Let's just wait til you're married and have kids . . . .
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  37. #37
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    Originally posted by tfc
    My 7-year-old believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. We're ok. Really.
    Well, then... I guess it really IS okay to lie.

  38. #38
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    Originally posted by tfc
    My 7-year-old believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. We're ok. Really.
    I doubt grrlTechie is seven years old. There's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Bob
    Let's just wait til you're married and have kids . . . .
    Frankly, I don't see what that has to do with anything. It's not like just because I don't have kids and am not married, I've never had experience with lying, telling the truth, and recognizing feelings and consequences of each of them. Even when I have kids, I will make a point to always be honest with them (to an extent; again, if one of them is critically or terminally ill, I may make a blindingly white lie once in a while for their own mental and physical health). If parents can't be honest to their children, how can their children be expected to be honest to them?

  39. #39
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    Originally posted by SniperDevil
    I doubt grrlTechie is seven years old. There's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Bob
    Let's just wait til you're married and have kids . . . .
    Frankly, I don't see what that has to do with anything. It's not like just because I don't have kids and am not married, I've never had experience with lying, telling the truth, and recognizing feelings and consequences of each of them. Even when I have kids, I will make a point to always be honest with them (to an extent; again, if one of them is critically or terminally ill, I may make a blindingly white lie once in a while for their own mental and physical health). If parents can't be honest to their children, how can their children be expected to be honest to them?
    1.) You're taking it way too literally.

    2A.) You try telling a girl she looks bad in that perfect red dress she just picked up on your credit card. You'll be sleeping out with the dog for the next 3 months.

    2B.) A smart man never tells a woman she looks bad for more than one reason.

    2B1.) One reason is the hassle. The 2nd reason I'll leave up to the imagination.

    3.) It really can be fun to play along as Santa Claus. Ruining a child's early childhood by telling them the truth all the time isn't something you want to do, unless you want your child to be that kid that everyone makes fun of in class. You know what I'm talking about, there's the smelly kid, and the kid that everyone hates because his parents always told him the truth.

  40. #40
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    Originally posted by SniperDevil
    I doubt grrlTechie is seven years old. There's a difference.


    Thanks (I think). Yeah, I never had kids, but I am definitely old enough to be the mother of a few here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Bob
    Let's just wait til you're married and have kids . . . .
    Frankly, I don't see what that has to do with anything. It's not like just because I don't have kids and am not married, I've never had experience with lying, telling the truth, and recognizing feelings and consequences of each of them. Even when I have kids, I will make a point to always be honest with them (to an extent; again, if one of them is critically or terminally ill, I may make a blindingly white lie once in a while for their own mental and physical health). If parents can't be honest to their children, how can their children be expected to be honest to them?
    [/QUOTE]

    Are you sure you are only 15??

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