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Thread: Simple Remedies

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002

    Lightbulb Simple Remedies


    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

    Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

    You only need two tools... WD-40 and Duct Tape.

    - If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

    - If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    And remember...

    1. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    2. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    3. If you woke up breathing, CONGRATULATIONS! You get another chance.

    Tinyurl is the answer for posting long urls!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Great stuff there. Number 6 is hilarious.

    And, being in the south, The second part truly seems to be the basic life essentials.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    I like #6... men really should have seperate urinals dedicated only to them in every bathroom, including private homes.

    I swear most men can't use the toilet properly, it should come with an instruction manual.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    lol, i started reading, and i thought it was real, but then i read number two and realized it was a joke
    All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Philadelphia, PA
    lmao so true about the duct tape and WD-40.

    One of those two usually fix about 80% of my problems. Although sometimes Electrical tape will suffice.
    Linux junkie |

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    The hot water and ice cube does work (just not boiling water...) though I do like number 6 .

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