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  #1  
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: London UK
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Cheer Up.. Jokes..


CORPORATE LESSONS

-------------------------------------------------------

Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

-------------------------------------------------------

Corporate Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! The clerk is gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the other sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." And Poof! He's gone too.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss speak first.

-------------------------------------------------------

Corporate Lesson 3
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox then jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

-------------------------------------------------------

Corporate Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

--


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  #2  
Old
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 827
Somme funny things you got there Especially the first one

  #3  
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Eaglehawk, Victoria,Australia
Posts: 5,023
$800 Dollars to drop the towel, come on !! they would do it for $20 in my area.

Doc

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  #4  
Old
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 4,342
Wow...

all are old jokes...

but the morals are the best....

thanks man,

Peace,

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  #5  
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 2,130
Quote:
Originally posted by azizny
Wow...

all are old jokes...

but the morals are the best....

thanks man,

Peace,
Is there even any such thing as a "new joke" nowadays?

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  #6  
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Tas, Australia
Posts: 2,488
Quote:
Originally posted by TheDoctor
$800 Dollars to drop the towel, come on !! they would do it for $20 in my area.

Doc
Where do you live ?

Oh yeah, I remember, just off Melbourne. Probably should bring an extra 20 bucks handy when I go there during winter

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  #7  
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,384
heard some before... nice

  #8  
Old
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 2,168
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete *** of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an *******," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

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  #9  
Old
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Eaglehawk, Victoria,Australia
Posts: 5,023
Quote:
Originally posted by freak
Where do you live ?

Oh yeah, I remember, just off Melbourne. Probably should bring an extra 20 bucks handy when I go there during winter
Just head down to St Kilda, an inner Melbourne suburb, yu can't go wrong.

Doc

__________________
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Need help? just ask The Doctor
House calls a specialty
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy ?

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