Evan Gresham Lives!!!!!!!

Bacon of Destiny · #1 11-10-2004, 03:27 PM

Hello friends, I apologize for this long time of being away. Thousands have no doubt feared for my life, and I am sorry for frightening you all, but after reading about what happened that fateful day in June, you will understand.

After that long flight was over, I had just got off when someone who could have been none other than Dr.Mahserg walked to where the cargo was being removed from the plane.
I could see the cage where no doubt the legendary sasquatch was held. It was covered by a shroud so I could not see the beast that it contained.
I could tell that Mahserg was anxious to see what it contained, but he certainly did not want to uncover it on the airport tarmac. Apparantly he had arranged for an airport hangar to be reserved for the unveiling of the creature.
The procession went to the hangar, where there was a fair crowd of people there. There were about 30-40 fold-up chairs set up in the hangar, facing a stage on the right side of the hangar. They wheeled the cage up to the stage, with Mahserg and his bodyguards following.
As soon as Mahserg took the stage, the entire crowd there stood and applauded. What was this? Some sort of secret council of evil? I cannot say. "Thank you all for coming, this is a momentous occasion in the history of science, I had a speech prepared, but I'm sure you and I both would much rather get around to revealing the fabled sasquatch to the world!" Dr.Mahserg said.
He motioned to one of the guards, who then moved over to the cage. The guard grasped the shroud over the cage, and removed it. It revealed a large orangutan.
Yes ladies and gentleman. An orangutan, large, and rather unusual looking, but it was an orangutan.
The whole crowd gasped in horror, and then dumbfounded silence pervaded the hangar. How could Mahserg's guards not know the difference between an orangutan and a sasquatch? Why did they not check the animal before lugging it up to New York for Mahserg's moment of glory?
What the heck is an orangutan doing in Texas?! None of these questions mattered just then, as I realized my assistant was murdered for an orangutan.
I drew my sidearm, imploring nobody to move. Of course, someone did. I gunned down the first one, as the evil council crowd fled. As I used up my clip, most of the guards were dead, and the rest were easily dispatched using simple martial arts moves.
Dr.Mahserg was on the run, but I ran him down and tackled him to the ground. Using my cell phone I called the police.
2 hours later, the police arrived and the surviving guards were brought to justice.
Dr.Mahserg was arrested and released 3 hours later on good behavior. The orangutan was put in a zoo and bigfoot still is at large.
For several months after I was involved in CIA and FBI investigations into the Texas Bigfoot Research Center and its crimes. Also, I was questioned many times about Bluff Creek and existence of Sasquatches there.
I myself wonder about what I saw there, and the strange police there. As you can see, I have been very busy over the last few months, which is the reason for not updating you on my condition sooner.
I have had enough bigfoot for now, but not enough of mysterious creatures. I intend to pursue another cryptid soon, and I will update you when that happens. Until then,

Yours truly,
Dr.Evan Gresham

phill2003 · #2 11-10-2004, 03:30 PM

are you real?

Bacon of Destiny · #3 11-10-2004, 03:37 PM

I believe I am.

adam · #4 11-10-2004, 03:43 PM

Welcome back

Gen-T · #5 11-10-2004, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bacon of Destiny
Hello friends, I apologize for this long time of being away. Thousands have no doubt feared for my life, and I am sorry for frightening you all

Yes, we closed the forum for months because people were so upset by your absence that nobody felt like posting anymore. We assumed the Sasquatch caught and ate you. Only recently did we find the strength to reopen, knowing that you would have wanted it that way.

Bacon of Destiny · #6 11-10-2004, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gen-T
Yes, we closed the forum for months because people were so upset by your absence that nobody felt like posting anymore. We assumed the Sasquatch caught and ate you. Only recently did we find the strength to reopen, knowing that you would have wanted it that way.

Great work, friend. Keep the faith.