There are two things that appeared immediately obvious to me:
1. There is absolutely no text on your main page (save for text links to other dating services/web rings/etc.) Your images are really nice looking...however, without text, it's very difficult for a search engine to index your page properly (if at all). Consider a 50-100 word description focussing on 3-5 keywords for your site, similar to what you've done in your meta tags. Check out http://www.searchenginesecrets.com
if you want some really good info on the search engines and how to master them.
2. While banner exchanges/web rings/etc. (particularly the Hit Exchange one you use...an excellent choice for a banner exchange by the way) can be effective for bringing traffic, they can also take it away just as easily. The best trick I've learned for banner exchanges is select only the ones with targeting, and elect to host banners that AREN'T related to your site theme. This way, you don't risk losing a visitor inadvertently to your competition.
Now as far as that comment about the ladies' pictures go, there is a certain logic to it. However, you don't want to go to "amateur" looking pictures either. You are a professional site and you want to keep things that way.