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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Toronto, ON
    Posts
    3,439

    Disorder in the Court

    These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place !!!

    Q. What is your date of birth?
    A. July 15th
    Q. What year?
    A. Every year.
    ---------------
    Q. What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A. Gucci Sweats and Reeboks
    ---------------
    Q. This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A. Yes.
    Q. And in what way does it affect your memory?
    A. I forget.
    Q. You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
    ---------------
    Q. How old is your son? The one living with you?
    A. 38 or 35 I can't remember which.
    Q. How long has he lived with you?
    A. 45 years.
    ---------------
    Q. What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
    A. He said where am I, Cathy?
    Q. And why did that upset you?
    A. My name is Susan.
    ---------------
    Q. Do you know if your daughter has even been involved in voodoo or the occult?
    A. We both do.
    Q. Voodoo?
    A. We do.
    Q. You do?
    A. Yes, Voodoo.
    ---------------
    Q. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    ---------------
    Q. The youngest son, the twenty two year old, how old is he?
    ---------------
    Q. Were you present when your picture was taken?
    ---------------
    Q. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A. Yes.
    Q. And what were you doing at that time?
    ---------------
    Q. She had 3 children, right?
    A. Yes
    Q. How many were boys?
    A. None
    Q. Were there any girls?
    ---------------
    Q. How was your first marriage terminated?
    A. By death.
    Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
    ---------------
    Q. Can you describe the individual?
    A. He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q. Was this male, or a female?
    ---------------
    Q. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A. No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ---------------
    Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A. All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ---------------
    Q. All your responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
    A. Oral
    ---------------
    Q. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A. The autopsy started at around 8.30pm
    Q. And Mr. Dennington was dead at that time?
    A. No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    ---------------
    Q. Are you qualified to give a urine example?
    ---------------
    Q. Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A. No
    Q. Did you check for blood pressure?
    A. No.
    Q. Did you check for breathing?
    A. No.
    Q. So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A. No
    Q. How can you be sure, Doctor?
    A. Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q. But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A. Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
    Jean-Pierre Abboud / I'm the TekGURU
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Under the sea
    Posts
    4,208
    Ahahah the last one about the brain in the jar is hillarious..

  3. #3


    Classic.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    New York's Capital District
    Posts
    2,197
    Oldie but a goodie ...
    Know It All Solutions Incorporated
    Web Design, Web Development and Web Hosting

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    5,283
    The last one - the best!
    Hosting Discussion - web hosting community.

    Is your company represented?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    3,727
    Very funny!
    Have you Floble'd today?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,345
    Some of them are great

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Posts
    151
    No matter how many times I've read that over the years it cracks me up.

    roflmao

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    346
    thats crack up especially the last one

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    459

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