Their HQ is a pub down the road from where I am. One of their board members is a cat. They recently did an experiment where they would see if it was possible to put Jeff the sandwich in a box for 45 days without David Blaine.
It is our sad duty to inform Jeff's adoring public that our beloved sandwich passed away on day 38 of his attempt. It has taken till now to alert the great Loony public, as, of course, there had to be an inquest. The Coroner, the esteemed Algernon Bobblehat, said "Jeff died from being bloody stupid - what did he expect, a medal?" At the funeral, the two rather dubious-looking industrial protesters, and the box of soup were in attendance.
If they won the election they would do these things:
- There should be a national debate on the subject of why there is only one female Smurf.
- It will be illegal for bald people not to wear a hat in public. This will prevent accidents caused by sunlight reflecting into the eyes of unsuspecting aircraft pilots.
- All bus shelters will have central heating. This will be turned on full in summer and off in the winter, just like the buses.