You can put through a request with your requirements.
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I talked in a great length to Mr.Faisal of www.netxs.com.pk about the kind of service you are looking for. He claims to be offering a very expensive service to premium clients. If interested, his email address is [email protected]
Hope it helps.
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Ask your host if they utilize spamassassing w/ mailscanner or exim and clam (or another) antivirus. This combination typically comes with excellent spam and virus protection. In terms of spamassassin options I prefer Vipul's Razor to bayesian scanning, seems to work better.
While the "Assassin" in SpamAssassin (SA) might give you the impression SA kills spam, it does not.
SpamAssassin can tag spam. It is up to how the hosting provider implements SA in terms of wether the tagged spam is deleted, automatically put in a quarantine folder, or just left tagged for the mail client to handle it.
That in itself is one of the biggest problem I have with filtering. Since it's not guaranteed 100%, you will probably still spend some time going through the filtered mails, and that in itself defeats the purpose of using such a solution.