Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    311

    * a joke for guys on women/females

    Dear Diary,
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so
    much.

    And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

    I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
    their heart.

    I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
    state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman."

    I am thinking "what was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was
    going to happen that night so I went to sleep.

    The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store...I
    walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits.
    She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three.

    She wanted matching shoes, I said "lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let
    me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
    short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
    asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
    I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK.

    She was almost sexually excited from all of this.

    You should have seen her face when she said "I think this is all dear, lets
    go to the cash register."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel
    like buying all of this stuff now."

    You should have seen her face...it went completely blank.

    I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
    while."


    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

    I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring
    of 2008.
    Last edited by a-m; 03-09-2004 at 12:55 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    930
    haha I have heard that joke before but it is still good!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3,155


    Excellent...
    Don't like what I say? Ignore me.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Washington, USA
    Posts
    5,990
    Now, that's a good one.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Eaglehawk, Victoria,Australia
    Posts
    5,014
    I haven't heard that before. That was excellent.

    Doc
    www.doctorhill.com.au
    Need help? just ask The Doctor
    House calls a specialty
    If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy ?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Perth, WA, Australia
    Posts
    1,276
    That was a good one
    nu-metal.org :: coming soon

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    717
    lol that was good! never heard it before

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    1,718

    Re: a joke for guys on women/females

    Originally posted by a-m

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
    LOL -
    Sid Shroff
    Senior Enterprise Web Administrator
    IIS, .NET, MS SQL
    SidShroff.com

  9. #9
    haha, that's awesome
    * Best Web Hosting - Submit your host to our directory and become one of our top 10 web hosts.

  10. #10
    HAHAHAHA, oh god. I'm a girl but was in hysterics over this because it's so good!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Reading, England
    Posts
    4,240
    Good stuff
    Steve

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,509

    Talking

    haha ... never heard it before.... very nice ..
    Clip and Print Free Grocery Coupons - ClipCoupons.us

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    640


    VERY good, haha, I have to remember that one.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    276
    haha I have heard that joke before but it is still good!
    "You must not be in tune with his joking needs as a man."

  15. #15

  16. #16
    for exactly that reason, if i was a male, i think i was a gay.

    i don't understand women.
    gia

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    344
    LOL!! Imagine her face

    (and I'm a she )

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    NY, NY
    Posts
    3,974
    lmfao.. that was great..
    i could just imagine what happens when they get home.
    His posessions will get incinerated lol

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    India
    Posts
    1,433
    truly amazing joke indeed !
    Chris, Developer/Programmer,
    https://www.chrisranjana.com/
    Php laravel developers, Node Python developers,
    AWS Certified | Python developers | Nodejs Developers | Devops

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •