Gee, NexDog - it almost sounded like you were trying (unsuccessfully) to mock a previous post. Perhaps even one that provided some reasonable recommendations (as requested) that actually help WHT newbies.
Ill offer some advice:
It might be more benefitial if you tried harder to freely give more of your own helpful recommendations - and tried to freely give less of your wit. Everyone would benefit from that. Hitjokes would receive additional helpful advice, and you would not come off looking silly.
Hitjokes, to amplify my previous post;
After you use the Search function, you should get a feel for what type of companys have a good/helpful/supportive reputations and which are scams or unreliable.
As a general rule if you are not able to post a hosting company's name here (they appear with lots of ********) you should avoid them as they are banned at WHT and are probably unreliable.
Once you compile a "short" list of hosts that match your budget, reliablity, and other parameters, contact each one in turn and ask specific presales questions. Ask about support, uptime, overselling, Terms of Service etc.)
You can gauge which companies will respond to your requests for assistance reasonably by how they respond to your presales questions.
I would avoid the ones that "show attitude" for if they show attitude answering your questions when you're not a client, they will show the same poor attitude answering your questions when they are.
Many hosts can and will offer plans not advirtised at their sites. Some may offer specials.