He said he own's a "Web-hosing" business and is looking for feedback on it.
Here are some things I noticed:
On your opening page, you may want to adjust the colors of your left side buttons and logo... they don't contrast very well making them difficult to see.
"As a customer you are not a number you are a regular person to you, someone that we strive to satisfy you"
Edit the "you are a regular person to you"
"process it with-in 24 hours"
Within is one word
"every package that we sell here is one that you make up"
You may want to replace "make up" with create. You should probably re-evaluate your text. Some of the sentence structures are awkward.
I would remove the "we are hiring" message from your front page. Saying you are needing staff right out front could cause a little concern.
Ok, a lot of grammar needs to be changed. On your shared page there are several words hyphenated that do not need to be and some that should be. Again, I would try to change some of them so that it flows more smoothly.
I wouldn't charge $3.95 setup to be able to refer-a-friend. They shouldn't pay you to send you people.
"For every sale that you bring us, you will receive 60% off of your next 2 months web hosting! That amounts to be over 2 months free."
I am no mathematician but 60% commission does not equal free.
" Basically when you sign up, and pay it goes into our PayPal account, and then we track your payments. After every 4 payments, which is every 4 months, we will give you your next month free. This is a good deal for you, a total of 10 months FREE."
How do 4 paid months equal 10 months free? Also, if you use PayPal subscriptions, how are you going to provide the free month?
"This is only valid for our customers, to become"
I think that's a given
Your reseller button does not work.
"That is why I have decided to make sure everyone, even non-customers should get support"
Why would non-customers need support aside from sales?
Your live support icon is missing past the front page.
"Customized Host is a online website hosting company"
Are there non-online hosting companies?
"What he does, is pays the designers what he thinks is reasonable, from 25%-50% but it can not be any more then 25%."
How can he offer 25-50% when it cannot be more than 25?
You stated you have 7 employees but only list 3 in the staff section.
"First, we will talk briefly about our sales representatives. There are only a couple requirements that we wish that you can meat. "
Meet.
"You start out with 35% per customer for 12 months"
You may want to change that if you offer monthly billing. That infers they would receive 35% of the cost per year.
" Once this occurs we will evaluate your job with us, and if we feel that it's needed, we will give you a $50 one time bonus"
That whole issue is a bad idea. "If we feel that is needed" is not very supportive. How do you plan to pay them, and with what frequency?
Ok, so there are just some of my thoughts about the site. I would strongly suggest going over it very thoroughly to ensure there are no mistakes. You need to add information about you equipment and network. You need a TOS/AUP, a table of server specs and available tools such as PHP, MySQL, and the like.
I would remove some of the
"Well, it's very easy! Many people have asked about this promotion that is why we have gone into further depth and have decided to explain it a little more."
comments simply because it is not true. Your clients might not know that, but we do as you stated your are brand new.
Take your time to sit down and figure out all the things necessary. Have you considered the cost of support? Without having a set pricing plan, how are you budgeting where the revenue will come from and how much that revenue will be? How much have you set aside to cover refunds, bills, advertising? Have you registered your business? You should really consider something more than just PayPal as many people do not use paypal which equals lost sales.
This is only a short glimpse of the things you need to evaluate. I hope this helps you...but I would strongly recommend re-evaluating your business to ensure it will be viable in the long run.