Enough serious stuff...

Whats the funniest thing that a client has ever said to you as a hosting company?

like this one happened to us before...

Us: Hello

Customer: Yes, my website is down

Us: ok, whats the domain

Customer: ***.com

Us: well we are checking it out now, and it looks up and fine to us

Customer: well its down so fix it.

Us: Ok, we cant see any problems, can you send a tracert?

Customer: Whats that?

Us: Well go to start then run the type cmd enter and then type tracert xxx.com

Customer: ok, it says no internet connection available.

Us: Ok, are sure you are connected to the internet.

Customer: Well, I dont have an internet connection, its too much money...

roflmao

Hahahahahahahaha!! << Is that what you said straight after? :eek:

lol i can't believe that!

Uh ho

a one time at band camp thread starting
+

We had the same problem with a client who compalined about his email not working for a week. Turned out, he wasnt connected to the internet for a week.

:eek:

Nice...... :D

-Shazad

Originally posted by atjeu
Enough serious stuff...

Whats the funniest thing that a client has ever said to you as a hosting company?

like this one happened to us before...

Us: Hello

Customer: Yes, my website is down

Us: ok, whats the domain

Customer: ***.com

Us: well we are checking it out now, and it looks up and fine to us

Customer: well its down so fix it.

Us: Ok, we cant see any problems, can you send a tracert?

Customer: Whats that?

Us: Well go to start then run the type cmd enter and then type tracert xxx.com

Customer: ok, it says no internet connection available.

Us: Ok, are sure you are connected to the internet.

Customer: Well, I dont have an internet connection, its too much money...

How is it possible for someone to be that stupid?

And yet intelligent enough to order webhosting and a domain without an internet connection. :eek:

Originally posted by dbbrock1


How is it possible for someone to be that stupid?

How stupid is it for hosting companies to laugh about their client's mistakes in public? :rolleyes:

Originally posted by GoldenWeb
And yet intelligent enough to order webhosting and a domain without an internet connection. :eek:

Some of the webhosts are even that way :rolleyes:

I ma still laughing that is to funny, there was a web site aol posted some tech reports from clients on about 3 years ago that were so funny i almost crapped my pants, but anyways that funny

>>I ma still laughing that is to funny, there was a web site aol posted some tech reports from clients on about 3 years ago that were so funny i almost crapped my pants, but anyways that funny

Yes, the idea is not to bash our clients who all will remain anonymous of course - its simply to let off some stream - have a laugh - our clients are great people - that one happened to us about a year and a half ago - we have plenty more to share but lets hear some others...

its like the aviation one - true stories -

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

Mind if I ask?

How was if you managed to have this conversation with him online when he doesnt have an internet connection? Was the conversation on the phone?

Originally posted by hostgrid
Mind if I ask?

How was if you managed to have this conversation with him online when he doesnt have an internet connection? Was the conversation on the phone?

you dont generally have conversations in that format without it being verbally.

i work for an online banking company for my bread and butter, ive had some doozies

"Hello, im logged into my account...and...well...these numbers are all wrong"

"oh? well let me verify some info with you...just for security"

*verify*

"now im going to go ahead and log on to your account and take a look at your balances....read balances"

"yes, that seems right, good, but what is all this...it says i have a mortgage, and im in college right now....and i mean, this checking balance is great, i wish it was mine...but it isn;t"

":confused: hmm, this seems serious...*light bulb above head* OHHH, hang on a second"

*click click click*

*read new balances i discovered*

"YES, THATS THEM!!!"

"Well, thats the demo. you "logged on" to the demo"

"well, i deleted the user ID that said demo and wrote my own in there, whats wrong with that?"

http://www.honda-acura.net/forums/images/smilies/doh.gif

thats classic!!

yes ours was on the phone

atjeu,

It is Qantas

Not hosting related, but from when I worked in PC repairs/builds/etc

"Yes you guys installed a new modem for me 6 weeks ago and today my harddrive crashed and I'd like to know what you're gonna do about it?"

So many answers, all of them guaranteed to make a customer mad. I handed it off to the owner after explaining to him what I was handing him. I just couldn't finish that call.

"you guys had me turn on my cookie settings for the web and now im getting this error on bootup"

*reads general protection fault error / kernel core dump* or something to that effect.

"eh, yeah, thats nothing to do with us turning on your cookies, you need to contact your manufacturer"

*insane screaming followed by hangup*

Thats a good one - on that airplane thing - just copied and pasted it in - sorry about the misspelling - dont want to make our mates mad...

One of my top customers (and good friend) contacted me about a woman writing him a nasty e-mail about stealing her 'domain name' from her. He was actually using an Amazon username similar to her domain name. She was irate with him and he asked me to explain to her the difference between a username and a domain name.....that little scenario turned into a mess involving rape and child molestation....3 court orders to have her site taken down because 'articles' posted about me...court battle ensued and the Judge Judy show wooed me into letting them handle the case. While it was going on, I posted the details on a website Here (http://songwriter4u.net) . I haven't updated the site in a while, and she still e-mail me occasionally to tell me what a bastard I am ;)


(BTW, I did win the case)

I was a Dell Tech Support Specialist for about a year. My absolute favorite was the lady that told me the damn machine kept spilling her coffee and she wanted a new machine cuz this one was defective.

Comes to it that she was using the CD tray as a coffee cup holder. The tray kept closing after a few minutes of opening it to place her Cup of Joe on it while she was doing her thing on the system. After I put the nice lady on mute for about 5 minutes, I went on to explain that what she thought was a coffee holder was in fact a place to put her MS Encarta program that came with the system.

I have alot more with folks who try to access the net while on the phone with me that had a dialup connection with only single line installed.

ROTFL

Robert

Tom:

I want to know more about going on Judge Judy! What was it like? Did this woman actually show up for the show?

hey pyles, that woman is certifiable. Trying to piece together that story on my own is painful to my brain.

this is...unbelievable:


"Great publicity you're doing for yourselves.
I have a friend , a police captain. I'm going to ask
him if he's heard of you.
A lot of people have,Tom. And themedia and records
exist in places too numerous to mention..... and
well.....I'm just so
amazed. Is that you with Michelle in the photo,Tom?
Wow those people looked old .and sick. and fat. so
ugly.Look at my dream book. I'm having difficulty
getting rid of the BESTIALITY photo someone named
'MICHELE' put there.This is the first time anything
has happened to me like this"


this is the kinda stuff thats more scary than funny. Id be afraid to run into this person in real life...


hey, im cherokee too :cartman:

Had a lady for england calling us, she was furios because she could not sign up.

I mean she was ANGRY :)

She could not believe it. I told her that it was nothing wrong with our system. She just kept on going. And said she had trouble signing up with other companies as well. But nothing was wrong with her credit card.

I was like, eeeh ??? She kept on going for about 20 minutes. Until i told her. (Yes it is true)

-Why Don't you signup with IPowerWeb. Then we will not have this discussion.

Then I heard a click. she hunged up!

:)

wow, this is hilarious :D

I should point out that I ended up declining the Judge Judy show...they called me repeatedly when all of this was going on (a producer saw the website and contacted me). They through some nice numbers my way for appearing on TV, plus airfare, hotel, etc... My wife wasn't happy with the idea (very unhappy) and if you guys are married, you know how that went :(

The last time I spoke with somebody from the show was about a month ago and they told me it was a standing offer and if I changed my mind, they would certainly handle it. The case I recently won was in our local court here in VA. The whole thing behind the recent case was to have the content she was posting on her site about me removed, and not about damages. The judge here ordered her site immediately removed, and threatened jail time is she didn't comply...there were already court orders for the removal (3 of them in all) on 2 occasions, it was the hosts that removed them..the 3rd, the host wouldn't take it down without the order...they got the order and removed the content but left the account open....she'd change it back, and they would remove it....that happened several times so I went back to our courts here about it....

So, that is where I stand with this issue.....I still have the option of suing her if I choose to...my problem was with the articles she published and I wasn't out to sue her 'for everything she has'.

BTW, if you all have never experienced anything like this, even with as clear cut as this was, it is still difficult to go after a libel issue. Most lawyers I spoke with wanted between 10 and 20 grand before they would even look at it. There is a talk show that I produce and the host owns a law firm with his brother...there expertise is in collections and not courtroom issues, but they were a big help in helping me get everything filed....

its at times like this that im taknkful that i have a virtually unpronouncable and unique last name =]

Go on Judge Judy! You're clearly in the right, you can make a public statement, and be compensated!

Originally posted by rusko
its at times like this that im taknkful that i have a virtually unpronouncable and unique last name =]

werd, there is a guy in wiskin that has an identical first & last name..just his middle name is different. hes a baaaaaaaaaaaaad maama jamma, and he gets me in a lot of trouble. that dude has like 5 tickets for every one i get, and i get a lot of tickets.

btw, my first name is Blake, so this is a pretty weird case indeed.

OK, here is mine.

One client registered a domain name and called me after a month.

He was yelling at me and asking why his site was down. He was really mad at me. I asked his domain and checked our client database and found out he has registered the domain only.

So I told him about this. He asked me back why I did not put some pages for him?

I was speechless. :confused:

We had one lady back in the PC days, she buys a PC from us, comes in for service (she couldn't get on Juno, circa 1997 when it was email only). We tested her modem, fine, installed Juno, fine, no problems to be found.

She's very upset at being put out so, and let's me know how terribly rude my assistant was to her (??? I was in the room for all but maybe 3 minutes of the service since she insisted on staying thru it all). I was like "hmm ok I'll have a talk with him" and she left.

She had the same problem (it couldn't be her phone lines and the fact she's using one of those 99 cent Wal-Mart phone splitters) and brings it BACK again, convinced it's a lemon. So this time the owner handles her, gives her a brand new computer, installs juno for her, and as she's leaving and I'm loading her up, she tells me how rude the owner was to her (now this is funny stuff, the owner kissed so much customer butt it was sickening, he'd NEVER get rude or even within rock throwing distance of rude, even if he was being screamed at). So I told her if she had any further problems I'd handle her myself (so she could tell the owner how rude I was but I didn't say it).

Anyway, next time she came in I was on a service call and my other assitant handled her, installing a printer for her she'd just bought. Yes, she told me how rude he was to her too, did I mention on the second visit she cried as I loaded her car about how "awful this whole experience was for her"? Yeah she cried again this time, "oh I had to go through so much trouble to get my printer installed and your man was rude to me".

Now... the finale.

Christmas comes, and she comes in with her PC for... some upgrade, nice as can be, completely different person from the morose somber lady from that summer, I handled her upgrade, she thanked me paid for the upgrade, not a complaint, 3 days before Christmas she shows up with this double pie pan of peanut butter fudge all for me.

Yes I ate it, yes, I was worried a bit, but I ate it anyway, oddly enough, no one wanted any of my fudge (you gotta realize the dudes I worked with well, they were like any other early 20 crowd of young males, anything sweet was soon devoured).

Oh and her PC? We simply sold it to another customer (a friend of the owner, yes he did make it a practice of selling used as new, and no I didn't agree with it), I reckon the guy is still using that PC to this day he never once brought it in for a problem and was happy as could be with the thing.

Thats classic - she must have been going through something else in her life at the time ...

so why is it when people are going through something else, they take it all out on us computer guys?!?!?!?!