Hey all, put my essay off to the last possible minute, and beyond...as usual of course...

I tried searching for a LARGE "writers forum" where I could get immediate help with some of my grammar/wording issues...but I was unable to find one. So if you know of a very large writer's community site with lots of active users online at all hours, please let me know...but until then I will look to you guys for help on this, since most of you are intelligent, well-educated folk.

First of all this essay is to be 6 pages typed, double-spaced font size 12. It was due yesterday, so I will be turning it in late for deducted points(hopefully only 10%).

The official class title is: "Political Science 356/Ethnic Studies: Race, Power, and Politics."

This essay will be worth 45% of my grade ::youch:: (I know, way to go on turning it in late eh?)

So heres how it goes...I will post my questions/problems as I write the paper, and you will, assuming you know what youre talking about post feedback/answers.

Heres my first problem...

What do you think of the wording/grammar of these sentances:

So the question I will attempt to answer is why? Why are there still ethnic groups out there looking for change but who are unable to achieve it?


If you are interested in helping please post suggestions/corrections asap, as It is 3:30 AM here, and I'd like to finish this paper asap.

Also, if you are confident in your writing abilities, and are feeling heroic, I could use some instant feedback/advice via AIM/ICQ.

AIM: o mx o
ICQ: 152634787

I hope I can get some help,

Thanks in advance,

Regards,

-Nocturnix

Okay the first issue above by the way was from my introduction. So if you would prefer I post the entire introduction to get a feel for the context of the words, I can do so.

hmm, looks like no ones up to it...bad idea I guess..getting tired....only have..intro..done...must..sleep...::snores::

nocturnix I missed this post as I was offline for a day or so (danged phone company)

have you finished, what are you up to ?

still need a hand ?

Originally posted by nocturnix123
Hey all, put my essay off to the last possible minute, and beyond...as usual of course...

I tried searching for a LARGE "writers forum" where I could get immediate help with some of my grammar/wording issues...but I was unable to find one. So if you know of a very large writer's community site with lots of active users online at all hours, please let me know...but until then I will look to you guys for help on this, since most of you are intelligent, well-educated folk.

First of all this essay is to be 6 pages typed, double-spaced font size 12. It was due yesterday, so I will be turning it in late for deducted points(hopefully only 10%).

The official class title is: "Political Science 356/Ethnic Studies: Race, Power, and Politics."

This essay will be worth 45% of my grade ::youch:: (I know, way to go on turning it in late eh?)

So heres how it goes...I will post my questions/problems as I write the paper, and you will, assuming you know what youre talking about post feedback/answers.

Heres my first problem...

What do you think of the wording/grammar of these sentances:

So the question I will attempt to answer is why? Why are there still ethnic groups out there looking for change but who are unable to achieve it?


If you are interested in helping please post suggestions/corrections asap, as It is 3:30 AM here, and I'd like to finish this paper asap.

Also, if you are confident in your writing abilities, and are feeling heroic, I could use some instant feedback/advice via AIM/ICQ.

AIM: o mx o
ICQ: 152634787

I hope I can get some help,

Thanks in advance,

Regards,

-Nocturnix

Generally speaking, in an essay/thesis it's not recommended to explicitly ask questions, but rather to convert them into affirmative statements.

I think that's the question
Why are there still ethnic groups out there looking for change but who are unable to achieve it?
and he (?) has to answer it

the original post isn't very clear, but as he (?) pointed out it was early in the a.m.

generally speaking it's not a good move to leave something that's 45% of the grade to the last minute

not knowing the country this question is set in, I can only offer english advice & correction (being an english/history teacher in a former life)

Hmm odd...because he inquires about the spelling/grammar used in that sentence (as if he wrote it).

yes, it's not very clear is it ?

and I think the deadline may have passed and the essay already handed in

perhaps nocturnix you could let us know if you still want a hand ?

(nice celtic tag !)

Sorry, I'm back...

I only finished the intro and started on explaining coalition building...

So yes I'm still working on the essay, starting back up on it now, My professor hasnt responded to my email yet, hope he got it...anyways I'd like to finish it tonight, hopefully.

It was due yesterday...so I will be handing it in late ::sigh::


Generally speaking, in an essay/thesis it's not recommended to explicitly ask questions, but rather to convert them into affirmative statements.


Yes, I realize this..but this was from the introduction, so I'm pretty sure its a LITTLE more acceptable there...I wont be asking questions throughout the paper, that was just in the intro.


I think that's the question
Why are there still ethnic groups out there looking for change but who are unable to achieve it?
and he (?) has to answer it

the original post isn't very clear, but as he (?) pointed out it was early in the a.m.

generally speaking it's not a good move to leave something that's 45% of the grade to the last minute

not knowing the country this question is set in, I can only offer english advice & correction (being an english/history teacher in a former life)


Yes, those were my own words, not the question being asked for the essay. The question for the essay is as follows...

"Describe and explain the electoral model put forth by Browning, Marshall, and Tabb in Racial politics in american cities. This will require you to explain their model, including factors that contribute to coalition-building, barriers to coalitions, class and leadership, incorporation, and responsiveness.

Browning, Marshall, and Tabb are most concerned with governmental responsiveness. Regardless of incorporation, they find that city governments are unable to effectively respond to needs and interests of the electoral coalition due to a city's political-economy. Here, turn to the work by Larry Keating - Race, Class, and Urban Expansion - to empirically test the conclusion reached by Browning, Marshall, and Tabb. How does keating develop his political-economic perspective?"

And this is in the united states, so yes, english :)

ah, this would fall under sociology in my hemisphere

I love the definitive "The City", Park R. & Burgess E., University of Chicago Press, 1925

Ok you have 3 distinct points here

1. describe the electoral model from Browning Marshall & Tabb
you can knock that one together from the text book

2. describe Keating's perspective

3. what conclusions you reach from the study of these works,
do you agree that governments cannot respond to needs and interests of the electorate ? Is it because of the political economy of the city ?

happy writing, my friend, what an interesting assignment

Well see, heres where things get interesting...::cough::

you see, I sort of never got these textbooks. when I went to buy my textbooks for my classes, they were out of these, so I never got them.

So basically I'm going off of lecture notes, and one chapter I have copied from the first book. Which makes things a little more complicated...::sigh:: this is turning into a real fiasco, I cant believe I put myself in this situation...anyways, I need to just write the damn thing so I can stop stressing about it.

I will post more later when I get back to writing it...hopefully you or somone will be here to aid me...if not I will just do it alone as I would normally.

what about this one for starters
http://sobek.colorado.edu/~fraizer/resources.html

Okay...rented the books from the library, and I've finally...sort of...finished the essay...this is the un-revised, rough, splintery, sand-paper rough draft...so be ready for strange sentances, and improper grammar...please help me revise/correct/etc. if you have time. Anything not in quotes was written by me...obviously, as i dont practice plagarism ;)

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What comes to mind when we think of the word “politics”? I know the first things that flash through my head are images of sneaky, fat, balding white rich men sitting around discussing how they can keep the poor man poor, and the rich man rich. Unfortunately this isn’t far from the truth, although maybe we should rephrase the question. How about: What should the word politics mean to Americans today? The answer is quite simple really: change. Since the very birth of this fine country, there has been a metaphorical “thorn” in its side. This “thorn” is racism, and although it has become less obvious, it is still there. The changes up to this point have been both positive and significant, but why stop at only two-thirds of the way? The momentum has slowed since the “glory days” of the fifties and sixties. Today very little is happening on the ethnological political front. So the question I will attempt to answer is why? Why are there still ethnic groups out there looking for change but who are unable to achieve it?

Let us first look at the structure of ethnological political change according to the Browning, Marshall, and Tabb model discussed in their book, Racial Politics in American Cities.

Coalition Building

A coalition, in the political sense, is a group of “like-minded” individuals who come together in order to elect a “like-minded” representative into a political office. Typically a coalition is formed around major issues. For example, a successful biracial coalition was mobilized in Los Angeles around the issues with police brutality and civil rights. It then served its purpose and put Mayor Tom Bradley in office where he was able to make changes and take steps in the right direction. Some of these steps included increased minority hiring for African American, Latino, Asian and women for important positions in City Hall, improved police programs, after school programs for inner-city minority neighborhoods, economic redevelopment, and improved city and social services. With a successful coalition backing an honorable and worthy leader, incorporation can be achieved and solid changes can be made.

Coalitional Barriers

However, In the previous example, like all coalitions, they eventually break down. The start of the collapse of Mayor Bradley’s coalition can be attributed to the Rodney King incident, which in turn divided minority groups. The end of the coalition marked the end of Mayor Bradley’s time in office with the succession of another white republican.
Some Coalitions however, break down before they are able to make serious change, or even before they are able to elect their representatives into office. Some barriers include attempting to target, or focus on too many separate issues. This can lead to coalitional fragmentation. Also in some cases groups will come together over a few main issues, but because of such regional and ethnic diversity, numerous issues sprout up; again leading to coalitional fragmentation and eventual “meltdown”. This also relates to self-efficacy. Each individual or group of similar individuals must feel that their needs are being met and that they are in fact making a difference, otherwise they may seek restitution elsewhere. Some include barriers such as the city of Chicago’s physical layout. Chicago is divided into many different ethnic “neighborhoods” and “burrows”. This opens up a whole new set of barriers including conflicts of class, different beliefs or ideals among ethnic groups, transportation, and communication. If a coalition does manage to overcome these formidable obstacles, they can achieve incorporation.

Incorporation/Responsiveness

When a coalition serves its main purpose and elects a representative of its members, the next step is to include or “incorporate” the coalition. In other words a black and Latino coalition is incorporated when these groups are given important and significant governmental or political positions of power.
Of course incorporation means very little without results. This is the final and most important point of the BMT model: “Regardless of incorporation...city governments are unable to effectively respond to needs and interests of the electoral coalition due to a city’s political-economy”(Dr. Camacho).

Political-Economy

According to Larry Keating’s book Atlanta - Race, Class, and Urban Expansion there is one driving force behind our political-economy: money. Money is the foundation, the roots, the basis of political power. He who owns the means of production, controls the political machine. These are the “Economic Elites”; they control the resources to get what they want, and what they want is to keep those resources, even if it means stomping out the ethnic competition.

MARTA

Take our first example – Marta: Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority, origionally passed by the referendum in 1971. The subway was part of Atlanta’s downtown redevelopment efforts. After some research it was discovered that economically a bus system would better meet the city’s needs, but they decided nonetheless to build the high-tech, expensive rapid transit system in hopes of gaining publicity. So the subway system was built, with the compensation that steps would be taken to ensure high-density development around the rail stations. This promise was broken and the city’s power to insure high-density development was lost.
In the mid-1980’s blacks had taken control of city hall and a new phase of construction was planned. Their original intent was to build a railway to the



“Perry Homes public-housing development on the far west side of town…but white business leaders now wanted the north rail line extended to the northern suburbs. The northern route would be more expensive than a line to Perry Homes, yet the transit authority decided to build the northern line and to postpone the Perry Homes line indefinitely. Some African American leaders objected, but in general the city’s black leadership put up very little resistance…Even though white business leaders no longer directly control city hall, they still get what they want because black elected officials usually let them have it”(Keating, 115).

So MARTA ended up becoming a transportation network for middle to upper-class whites. This was a perfect example of political economy; the power of the money, and the economic elites who control it. The whites now have transportation to all of the best jobs and places in the city, as the blacks watch the subway cars blow by; their need for still left unsatisfied.

Housing Inequalities

The gap in equality of housing between blacks and whites in Atlanta has been widening significantly since the 1950’s. The value of white homes compared to blacks has gone from 1.9 times in the ‘50’s to 6.5 times as much in the ‘90’s. Blacks now spend almost one and a half times as much of their income on housing, and 9 percent of black homes are overcrowded, compared to 0 percent of white homes. These statistics from Keating and many others show the gap between the “poor blacks” and the “rich whites” is growing rapidly. They are also our best measure of “quality of life” of blacks versus whites.

In the past ethnic minorities have demanded that whites take care of them and give them what they want. But those days are over; today if there is something they want their only option is to do it themselves. This, however, is very difficult as whites control the political economy. The key is to realize the difference between the words difficult and impossible. It may be hard for non-whites to gain power and make concrete changes, but it is not impossible. They must rise above and defeat their economic and political handicaps, and proceed to educate themselves in the ways of business and politics. It is only then that they can gain the proper knowledge to compete in the “white-man’s world”.

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I realize the conclusion may be kind of short/weak...any advice would be appreciated, i just sort of stopped, as im reaching the cutoff point of being "too late" to continue writing.

I will be sleeping now, and hopefully by tomorrow morning, I will have some responses, and I will be able to revise the essay and turn it in tomorrow at 2:20pm(for plenty of late point reduction im sure)...its 3:30am here now, so I better sleep so I can wake up in time...

Thanks in advance,

-nocturnix

They must rise above and defeat their economic and political handicaps, and proceed to educate themselves in the ways of business and politics. How ? can you give a suggestion ?

sorry, I couldn't find your thread

np, thanks for your help guys...fortunately its finished and has been handed in, and he's only taking off 5 points! WOHOO! Jeez I get lucky sometimes.

yeah you got lucky.

Procrastination was the story of my highschool years. I'd have a month to write an essay and i'd do it in the last two days, bull**** an excuse and hand it in a day late. Id usualyy get a decnt mark too,

Unfortunately the slacker attitude has followed me into college. I had an essay or english and Economics. I just decided not to do them at all. I'll still pass the courses, and I can just challenge the exams next semester, and get full credit :D

Take the path of lest resistance, I say