I am looking for a designer with little or no talent. I would like to purchase an ugly template for a site. The uglier the better, something along the lines of:

http://www.exody.com/
http://www.powerpipe.com/

So, if you can come up with an ugly template let me know what it would cost -- obviously, since it is ugly I am not looking to spend that much on it.

Thanks!

lol, do we even want to know why!?

Now lets get this straight... you want an ugly design, and are you going to pay us to design it? If so, you might wanna try giving a preschooler photoshop ;)

Also Mekhu, we don't wanna know...

Just open up notepad and type away, no HTML tags, just plain text, use ASCII art for all graphics,

that should do the trick...

i design this, http://www.geocities.com/websitetrafficbuilder

am i qualified?? :cool:

Originally posted by trafficbuild
i design this, http://www.geocities.com/websitetrafficbuilder

am i qualified?? :cool:

Welcome to POP UP HELL

Simon

Originally posted by uuallan
. . . . . . .since it is ugly I am not looking to spend that much on it.

Thanks! I'm sure I can build something 'much' uglier than those. But, as it takes just as much work to build an "ugly" site, please tell us your budget.

Here is one example of my ugly skills (http://www.suckasshost.com).

Originally posted by Mekhu
lol, do we even want to know why!?

Effect. There are certain expectations associated with different business types. When you walk into a Nordstroms to get a pair of shoes you expect the place to be clean, well-lit, and you are expecting helpful, well dressed sales people to assist you.

On the other hand, if you are going to a place called "Shoes and Stuff Warehouse" you expect minimal frills, the place will probably be unkempt, there will be shoes strewn all around, and there will be no salespeople, only a guy named Mac who will be just courteous enough to take his cigar out of his mouth to tell you the total.

I am setting up a business whose primary benefit will be cost, since I am offering a very low cost product I want the front end (website) to look like it was designed by a company offering a really low-cost product. In fact I want them to think our prices are so low that we can't afford decent design.

Originally posted by SoftWareRevue
I'm sure I can build something 'much' uglier than those. But, as it takes just as much work to build an "ugly" site, please tell us your budget.

Here is one example of my ugly skills (http://www.suckasshost.com).

That's not ugly as much as tacky...I am looking for an underlying utilitarian essence that should not be readily apparent in the design. Slapping together ugly colors is not enough to qualify as ugly in this case :).

As to my budget, since this is just for the template, I am willing to go as high as $50.

Originally posted by SimonMc


Welcome to POP UP HELL

Simon


sorry, i dont know there is popup, let me check it.

I get it now. Your previous post makes it very clear what you would like.

There's a download, on our site, of 40 free templates. There are some good ones in the zip file...but there are some really horrendous ones in there too. You should be able to find exactly what you need here: http://www.affordablehost.com/free.shtml

--Tina

if i got time, i do somemore template

too bad i dont have my PC with me, if you can wait till next tuesday maybe i can do it for you. Heh

i designed my BLOG, inequity (http://inequity.danwa.net) and its pretty ugly.

I can do a bit better, and i can do much worse.
It will be totally compatible with IE, Mozilla & Netscape, and work in 468x640 and higher resolutions.

Would happily do you a design for somewhere between $15-25

I designed a site that people said was ugly. One person said it was well coded though ;) When I change the site, you can have it for free. Please do NOT link back to us. :D

I think it's being missed, or at least people haven't said anything about it, that he's making fun of 90% of the templates that pop up on webhostingtalk. Seeing as how there's a number of fly-by-night companies on these forums, they don't want to pay much but want "top-quality stuff that will be seen by tons of people so you should feel lucky that we're letting you design for us - in fact, you should be paying US for the oppurtunity," and then these companies pick the worst design imaginable.

Now that I've explained it, the joke isn't as funny, is it? :)

I like uuallans' explanation better.

It even makes sense.

Originally posted by Nick Robalik
Now that I've explained it, the joke isn't as funny, is it? :)

Ten times as funny......if that is the case, which I hope it is.

Originally posted by Nick Robalik

Now that I've explained it, the joke isn't as funny, is it? :)

Except that you are wrong, I am not joking, i am very serious with this request.

Originally posted by uuallan
Except that you are wrong, I am not joking, i am very serious with this request.

Allan,

This is the best design I made so far.

www.tyrannosaurusrex.net

Finally a contest I feel quilified for :).

Uploading some templates I made when I was "learning" photoshop.

Another

Weird... deleted my other post..

Another

Last one

Ok, ok, here was my first site, built back in 1997, last updated in '98, came along way since then. ;)

http://prevo.virtualave.net/

Jeez, I still get full body shivers looking at that site. Can't believe that it is still up and running.

I think my ugly templates scared him away :P

And here I was, thinking that this was a joke post...please tell me you aren't serious?!

Originally posted by Nick Robalik
And here I was, thinking that this was a joke post...please tell me you aren't serious?!

Whoah, a little late to the game, huh Nick :D? No, I was completely serious, although the project has been put temporarily on-hold because of other things I am working on.

There's also another reason someone may want templates that involve less skill - comparison.

When I sold cars, people would inevitably want to trade in their old car (that they owe a lot of money on) and get into a shiny new one and have their payment under $100/mo with no money down. This is how they all walked onto the lot pretty much, even though it isn't really what they would be satisfied with.

For these people, I took them to the used lot and found them a 1973 Pinto or equivalent and said that they may be around that pament if they could come up with some money down and didn't owe any money on their car.

What this did was set up some expectations in their mind for reference later on for when we finally got to the car that suited their needs.

Ugly sites and templates can be used the same way. When someone wants a site done for $100 or less, I show them some pretty ugly ones and tell them, "Sure we can do that!" Somebody may actually take me up on one of them someday, but not yet, especially after I bestow upon them the marketing value of perception and image. It makes it much easier to sell them a $1,000 or $3,000 site (if they actually had that budget to begin with) and you don't have to lose the $99 client or your shirt either.