Acroplex
08-30-2002, 12:48 PM
This one was too funny to pass by:
+++
Can you help in this time of great need? Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.
And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their
life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
upcoming strike situation. But you can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves
the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a
start, and every little bit will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in
Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks,
or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700
will partially replace his daily salary.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on
your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
below:
[ ] Infielder
[ ] Outfielder
[ ] Starting Pitcher
[ ] Ace Pitcher
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)
Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player
for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I
have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my
very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat
(include $80 for hat).
+++
Can you help in this time of great need? Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.
And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their
life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
upcoming strike situation. But you can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves
the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a
start, and every little bit will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in
Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks,
or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700
will partially replace his daily salary.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on
your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
below:
[ ] Infielder
[ ] Outfielder
[ ] Starting Pitcher
[ ] Ace Pitcher
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)
Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player
for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I
have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my
very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat
(include $80 for hat).
