How hard does one need to try to become the worst web hosting company in the world? What kinds of things do you need to do to quality for top honors?

nonexistent support would do the trick...

and double/triple billing each month would help too I think :)

Greg Moore

as would incorrect billing, disconnected phones, and support email addresses that bounce.

being a bitch in general to customers.

by offering unlimited qualities? ;)

and double/triple billing
by offering unlimited qualities

How about unlimited billing every month? Sounds like the worst host to me :D

everyone is assuming that the account is acually be setup, to be the worst, you will have to take their money, never setup the account, and not respond to their emails about it. Or you could take their cc and buy stuff with it. That would make you pretty bad.

Originally posted by davidb
everyone is assuming that the account is acually be setup, to be the worst, you will have to take their money, never setup the account, and not respond to their emails about it. Or you could take their cc and buy stuff with it. That would make you pretty bad.

LOL!, that's a good option to be the worst host.

Thats a good one. :stickout

Charge their CC and never setup the account, and not respond to their emails about it, unlimited billing every month, use their CC to buy expensive stuff and share their CC info to carders IRC channels ( for example dalnet #ccland :eek: ).

Um, send hitmen out to the clients ? :eek:

Originally posted by fabrikated
Um, send hitmen out to the clients ? :eek:

Only if they complain about strange charges in their CC.:D

how about not have a website of your own, and only accept orders via snail mail :)

Establish contract terms requiring 3 month minimums - paid up front, Take their money, set up account, allow them to create their site, and then randomly make the site unavailable for 75% of the day. Send all email address data on their site to spammers for tidy profit. Operate an open relay on their domain. Allow warez people an anonymous FTP directory on the client's domain.

Use your custom script which randomly sends excuses on your behalf in reply to their many and increasingly angry help desk emails. Set script reponse time delay parameter to "maximum_annoy".

Occasionally fake a complete server meltdown. Shut off the power and go on a trip for a long weekend. Pop into an Internet cafe and send your user list a message from Hotmail telling them that some data might be lost, but you are 'trying really hard'. Have three beers, at least, and forget the losers for the rest of the weekend. Return, and power up server again, be a hero and send insulting messages to all clients that they are ungrateful SOBs as you've been working night and day all weekend to restore service.

Randomly route client email to /dev/null

If any clients reach the breaking point within the first week of 'service', offer to refund them one of the three months and you'll release them from their contract if they sign a waiver releasing you from all future claims. This may seem at odds with "worst host practice" but you can reclaim their space and resell that to yet another suckah..er..client. THey pay for 3 months, you provide lack of service for maybe only 2-3 weeks. You can 'host' so many more this way.

Double bill them for bandwidth over-usage caused by warez folks. Optionally never refund the money promised.

Oh, and fake a testimonial from the user and put it on your lousiest of all web hosts front page.

Notice: Any similarity to any actual, still in business, web host is purely a figment of your imagination. Get a life. Small dogs and several cats were hurt in the production of this posting. My bill is in the mail.

Ha! Good ones.

You could call your customers whiners when the server is down and they ask what the ETA is. You could generally harass your clients by swearing at them, name calling them, and etc. when they need help with something.

never thought about that... :rolleyes:

To be a truely pathetic host,
Don't forget to do a search on your hosting Company's name, sign up multiple times at WHT, and post rave reviews for yourself. Also, under your own name, post defending your wonderful company. Point at the rave reviews for proof.
Don't fix what they are complaining about, just defend your company, and say it must be on their end.

Sign all your emails:

CEO
CrappyHosting.com

Originally posted by ATST
To be a truely pathetic host,

Don't fix what they are complaining about, just defend your company, and say it must be on their end.


I know a guy who do similar stuff on this board ;)

:D :dgrin:

Worst hosting company.

Have automatic signup.
Never answer any emails or support requests.
Double bill your clients each month.
Promise Unlimited disk space and bandwidth and then only give 1/100th of that.

That should about cover it...

I hate hosts who put special offers on and won't let there present clients purchase them.

Originally posted by michaeln
Worst hosting company.


Promise Unlimited disk space and bandwidth and then only give 1/100th of that.

That should about cover it...

what's 1/100th of UNLIMITED :confused:

Originally posted by mahinder


what's 1/100th of UNLIMITED :confused:

About 1/3 of Cyberwings.

Insult whatever they (manage to) put in their webspace!

i.e." Hahahaha, ugly family! AOL L@mer!!"

If it's a business website, add banners about increasing your penis size at the top and bottom of their webpage.

Have pop-ups on your client sites - and deny it (erm, must be your browser)

:D :stickout

Write a script that automatically infects all attachments of client's email with the Klez virus, and inserts random cusswords in the text :D

Originally posted by mahinder


what's 1/100th of UNLIMITED :confused:

ROFL

Sorry... LOL

Rephrase. 1/100th of what that host had in mind when they made up the plan. Say 2 gigs... :D

Very good suggestions.... ok any more creative ideas? Anyone want to partner up to become the worst host on the planet?

How about a host that requires the AUP to be signed...IN BLOOD? :dgrin:

To cancel their order, require that customers fax you a copy of their credit card, birth certificate, social security card, their dog's registration papers, and pictures of their home, and family members, plus a $50 processing fee.

Then once they've faxed all of that, don't close the account :D