Is anyone out there a host that offers support by email only with a 48-hour-or-greater response time; a server that's down more often that a White House intern; offers no money back guarantee whatsoever; technical support by not-quite-recovering alcoholics and/or drug addicts; AND HAS A SITE ANNOUNCING HOW ABSOLUTELY COOL THEIR SERVICES ARE USING AS MANY CAPITAL LETTERS, BIG FONTS, AND POINTLESS FLASH AS POSSIBLE?

I'm just wondering because it's always nice to have as many people to pick on as possible. :)

I'll give it a shot how much space you need? ;)

LOL. :D



*putting on my thinking cap.

Originally posted by TheGAME1264
Be anyone out dair some host dat offa's support by email only wit' some 48-hour-o'-greata' response time; some serva' dat's waaay down mo' often dat some Pale Crib intern; offa's no braid back guarantee whatsoeva'; technical support by not-quite-recoverin' alcoholics an'/o' drug addicts?

I is plum haid-scratchin' becuz it be 24/7 supa' fine t' have as many sucka's t' pick on as possible. :)

:smokin: Yes, there might be a few like you describe.

I could possibly help you out, but ONLY IF YOUR LOOKING for UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH AND SPACE.

On second thought - I can only help you out if you need 500mb space, 15 databases and 30,000 transfer for free with no banners.

And don't forget the toll-free support phone number :stickout

(cough) CI*Host (cough)

:D

Gee.I was going to recommend CW but you said 48 hour or greater response time so that lets them out...It is a shame cause the rest fit so well

Sparrow

Originally posted by MTG
And don't forget the toll-free support phone number :stickout

How about a $5/minute support number? It might match perfectly with the features requested above. :D

Give DataStreamUSA.com a try--nothing on my account worked, the support ticket system would give me frontpage errors when I tried submitting, and all of my e-mails were replied to in a minimum of 4 days, with classic replies such as "Sorry, you can't run any CGI on our servers."
(I'd continue, but I'm sure you're all pulling out your credit cards, ready to purchase hosting, even without the story of how it took 2 1/2 weeks for my cancellation notice to go through.)
Now *that's* quality service, I truly got my $5.00 a month worth. :cartman:

(I actually purchased the account a few months ago only to try out PHP on a few very low bandwidth domains...the PHP didn't even work right. :eek: )

I think that I could give that to ya for a price of free

:D Don't forget the host must be 16 years of age or less, (so as to be unaccountable, irresponsable, and unsuable) and have the server (his dads old pentium 200) located in his garage.

Hooked up to a 56k connection hosted off his own computer.

Originally posted by OverSkilled
Hooked up to a 56k connection hosted off his own computer.

no 56k, i have 128kb/seg connection lol jk

How about a $5/minute support number?


...which puts you on hold for an hour before eventually letting you speak to an answering machine.

Post it in request forum :stickout

Originally posted by TheGAME1264
Is anyone out there a host that offers support by email only with a 48-hour-or-greater response time; a server that's down more often that a White House intern; offers no money back guarantee whatsoever; technical support by not-quite-recovering alcoholics and/or drug addicts; AND HAS A SITE ANNOUNCING HOW ABSOLUTELY COOL THEIR SERVICES ARE USING AS MANY CAPITAL LETTERS, BIG FONTS, AND POINTLESS FLASH AS POSSIBLE?

I'm just wondering because it's always nice to have as many people to pick on as possible. :)

Hey, come to us. As our providers don't give a sh$t, we won't give a sh$t about you. Give us your money and fu$$ off. Need support? We'll give it to you when we feel like. Uptime? Ha, don't even dream about it! You can have all this at only $99/month. PM me if you are interested.

Note: It seem s that's the only way to go lately. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by microsol


Hey, come to us. As our providers don't give a sh$t, we won't give a sh$t about you. Give us your money and fu$$ off. Need support? We'll give it to you when we feel like. Uptime? Ha, don't even dream about it! You can have all this at only $99/month. PM me if you are interested.



im interested, give me more info about your plans

I would like to recommend ucvhost - they offer unlimited bandwidth....and um......cool servers and stuff. :D

oh yeah...they have great support, too - I never received a reply to an email question in less than 72 hours (usually never), and if I asked them about downtime (which was often) on IM, they would just shut down their IM client.

I'm telling you, this is the host you're looking for. :rolleyes:

ummm... sounds just like the thing!

Originally posted by Darph Bobo
oh yeah...they have great support, too - I never received a reply to an email question in less than 72 hours (usually never), and if I asked them about downtime (which was often) on IM, they would just shut down their IM client.


Sounds like my old ISP (which btw is no longer in existence). An excerpt from the Trillian logs (provider address masked):

[22:06] Shaun: I've been trying to connect since ~6pm this evening with constant busy signals which is getting quite ridiculous - and this has been happening almost every day since I joined a few weeks ago, busy most of the time unless you want to connect in the early hours of the morning.
*** xxxx@xxxxx signed off at Mon Jun 17 22:06:11 2002

They were never "online" on MSN again after that. I suspect I was blocked. I wrote this message when I logged onto my backup pay per hour ISP account.

--Shaun