Breaking news story: Apparently two America West pilots tried to take cups of coffee through security in Miami, and were told they couldn't go through with beverages. They were belligerant, but left the coffee behind. Security people thought they smelled alcohol on their breath, so they reported the incident.

By the time there was a response, the plane had already backed away from the gate, so the tower ordered it to return. The pilot and co-pilot were given breathalyzer tests by local police, and failed. They were arrested and charged both with operating an aircraft while under the influence of alcohol (a felony), and with driving while intoxicated. Sorry, but that last one is kind of funny.

Funny in a, glad I wasn't on that plane way.

C'mon now, doesn't everybody have a drink before they fly to calm their nerves?

The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive. The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane. The cockpit door closes, the engines start up. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway. Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

Those are great! :D

Now... Mine is a joke... the first is real :D... Sorry to cause confusion..:D