I will be developing a fake web host this summer. This will be an unlimited host with all the features starting at just $8.99 USD per month, and with a great reseller program.

I would appreciate some assistants from any host who will be willing to allow me to use images from their site (i.e. hard disks, keyboards, mouses, terminals, etc.

I would also like some of those images of datacenters to take my visitors on a tour of the datacenter where their 1's and 0's will be hosted.

Why waste your time doing that?? :)

It is actually not that hard, I am designing a new web page for a few other things, I figure I'll just use the same layout for ever site and just change images, color scheme, and content. Only take a couple days after I build the first site to copy the layout to thesecond, and third. (Just gotta get around to the first)

Why a fake web host? Aren't there enuff hosts already that don't live up to their claims? :p

gnorthey00 - I will be developing a fake web host this summer. This will be an unlimited host with all the features starting at just $8.99 USD per month, and with a great reseller program.

How about using your time to go to School or study instead!
It would be much more beneficial for you in the long run.

As Drewcifer said " There is enough Fake web hosts out there "

What are you trying to prove exactly and are you jumping on board for quick dollar?

Seriously i dont mean to be even more hard on you but this is the most stupid thing i have ever heard.

Kind regards

Originally posted by Drewcifer
Why a fake web host? Aren't there enuff hosts already that don't live up to their claims? :p Add :puke:AletiaHosting.com to that list...

Am I the only one that understands that this is meant as a joke? LOL

A very good one btw, good satire... it fits. With most hosts I have the feeling that they conduct their business EXACTLY like this... :rolleyes:

Haha :D Great thread ;)

Lol, i read his post, and thought it was a joke. Then i kept reading, and everyone got serious. So i was wondering who was joking. The jokers, or the jokers of the joke of being serious ? Lol :D

This will be an unlimited host with all the features starting at just $8.99 USD per month

$8.99 - Bit pricey! Cant you do a cheaper package.

I need:
unlim hard drive
unlim bandwidth
host unlim domains
unlim support 24/7 with house visits.
build my site
feed the cat

I need this for $3 per month please
(do I get a 30day mbg and a 99.9999% SLA). :D

Be sure and crib the staff bios from the old TacidBlue site :)

I was thinking along the lines of the SEC's "Invest Now" link :)

The 'perfect' newbie request who's been on WHT briefly:D :

I want:
Unlimited bandwidth and 100Mbs
Unlimited hard drives and space on the drives.
PHP, ASP, JSP, POP3 and POP4, Apache, IIS, Linux, UNIX, FreeVSD, FressBSD and Windoze (I think that is wrong spelling but it is how hosts spell it?!).
I want 24/7 Tech Support by Phone, Fax, ICQ, AOL, MSN, E-mail, >>Telnet<< 'Wall' Talk, 100% secure system. All in English, French, Spanish and German.
100.00% Uptime and $999999999/second if you go down.
MAPs E-mail.
I need free site design for my site which MUST be programmed in ASP, PHP and JSP but the only langauge can be hard-coded SHTML only.
I want to be able to spam 10000000 e-mail addresses a day (which I ripped from the internet). I want no complaints and bullet proof hosting.
I need less than 100s ping and BGP4, and BGP 5 rotating.
I need at least unlimited network providers and more if possible.
I need you to come to my house if my modem or PC breaks.

I want no setup fee.
I want you to pay me $10 for every month I host with you.

I abolutely need all this if you can't provide it your a fraud! and I will report you Mr Gates!

Sound familiar:eek: lol.

feed the cat

any Dog feeding plans?

any Dog feeding plans?

yes thats on windows hosting. The above plan is for linux.:D

Originally posted by gnorthey00

I would also like some of those images of datacenters to take my visitors on a tour of the datacenter where their 1's and 0's will be hosted.

You are welcome to use any of the images from:

http://www.zannie.com/zanniephotos/032101datacenter/

for non-commercial purposes.

More likely the newbie request:

Need 500 MB hosting
Unlimited bandwidth
100 % uptime guarantee
HTML support
JavaScript support
SSI
Unix
Linux
IIS
PHP
HTTP
FTP
POP3 (and want POP4 when it is available)
IMAP
I want to be the first 500 MB of the hard disk for my server (that way my files are accessed faster)
Atleast 512 MB RAM
Ethernet connection to the terminal
Fiber optic connection to everywhere else from server
HTTPS
SSL
SMTP
SendMail
CGI
Perl
I want WHOIS, DIG, but I don't want the FINGER
No setup fees
Want no more than 10 customers on my server
Am looking for free, no poups


Next day

How do u write in HTML?

Two days later:

Can I just upload my MSWord docs and use them instead of saving as HTML?

One month later

My host says it provides SSI, but I have not received my social security check yet

Originally posted by uuallan


You are welcome to use any of the images from:

http://www.zannie.com/zanniephotos/032101datacenter/

for non-commercial purposes.

THanks, will post site when done (prob next month whe n I get time (3 or so days) to put together the site. Maybe I should log email addresses and report them to some stupidity management agency.

Would you go for pictures of burning cisco routers and smashed 3com switches? I might can find a few of them :D

Originally posted by flyinghosts
The 'perfect' newbie request who's been on WHT briefly:D :

I want:
Unlimited bandwidth and 100Mbs
Unlimited hard drives and space on the drives.
PHP, ASP, JSP, POP3 and POP4, Apache, IIS, Linux, UNIX, FreeVSD, FressBSD and Windoze (I think that is wrong spelling but it is how hosts spell it?!).
I want 24/7 Tech Support by Phone, Fax, ICQ, AOL, MSN, E-mail, >>Telnet<< 'Wall' Talk, 100% secure system. All in English, French, Spanish and German.
100.00% Uptime and $999999999/second if you go down.
MAPs E-mail.
I need free site design for my site which MUST be programmed in ASP, PHP and JSP but the only langauge can be hard-coded SHTML only.
I want to be able to spam 10000000 e-mail addresses a day (which I ripped from the internet). I want no complaints and bullet proof hosting.
I need less than 100s ping and BGP4, and BGP 5 rotating.
I need at least unlimited network providers and more if possible.
I need you to come to my house if my modem or PC breaks.

I want no setup fee.
I want you to pay me $10 for every month I host with you.

I abolutely need all this if you can't provide it your a fraud! and I will report you Mr Gates!

Sound familiar:eek: lol. LOL

Originally posted by gnorthey00
I was thinking along the lines of the SEC's "Invest Now" link :)

Before you pull a fast one make sure your parents sign for it. If you are under the age of 18.

So whatever scheme you pull or "Invest Now" deal some has to take the responsibility/blame.

And not only that.... you actually come here and tell us about it. Like someone else said before.
Invest the time to go to school or do something productive.
Whatever you are trying to do it's been done, or not working at all.

Stealing code, or images off other sites can get you in lots of trouble.
If you decide to do so make sure you change 15% of whatever you copy.
If you want something look for "royalty free" images. You buy it's yours,
you do whatever you want.

One think I like is when people buy royalty free art and use them
in projects, than the competitor uses something similar or same they
each call each other up saying you stole the image or that's copyright and
one that knows turns around and tells them to shove it and to shut up :)

http://www.zannie.com/zanniephotos/032101datacenter/yet-more-servers.jpg


gotta love those yummy neon blue boxs.... Can I have one?:D

Originally posted by Studio64

gotta love those yummy neon blue boxs.... Can I have one?:D

It was just the two of us, and a couple of underpaid part timers...I spent so much time working with the dedicated customers, I needed to make the management of the shared customers as simple as possible :D. The Cobalts were nice boxes for the local shared customers we had acquired over the years...but we really saw are mistake when we started getting shared customers from WHT :D

Originally posted by Studio64
http://www.zannie.com/zanniephotos/032101datacenter/yet-more-servers.jpg


gotta love those yummy neon blue boxs.... Can I have one?:D

They are nice, I had a Cobalt RAQ 4. They are just nice enough for hosting web pages and nothing more.

I no longer continued my lease and instead of invested in a SuperMicro server 5x faster than the typical RAQ 4. Although there is more more on this one. No Cpanel, no GUI for user end, no plug-n-play I guess. I use webmin for admin as of now and look forward to pluggin in Plesk eventually or maybe Ensim if I was to go Win2K way.

I just realized that I should take a picture of my school's iMac lab when I go back this fall: "Server Room"

Like I said, it is supposed to be a 'fake' web host, as in no transaction; no transaction = no problem.

As for time, I have said before, it will take me about two or three days to put the site together because I already have to make some other web sites this summer, so I mightas well use the same template for all of them. So time is no concern since I will probably use an hour at a time over a couple weks to paste images, and type some grammatically terrible text and make some sure-sell plans that link to the "You've been hoaxed" page.

You really need to make it a two step "sign-up" process, first step is enter desired username and password, next one says "enter payment information on our secure server" when they click that it goes to the hoaxed page :)

Originally posted by gnorthey00
I just realized that I should take a picture of my school's iMac lab when I go back this fall: "Server Room"

Like I said, it is supposed to be a 'fake' web host, as in no transaction; no transaction = no problem.

As for time, I have said before, it will take me about two or three days to put the site together because I already have to make some other web sites this summer, so I mightas well use the same template for all of them. So time is no concern since I will probably use an hour at a time over a couple weks to paste images, and type some grammatically terrible text and make some sure-sell plans that link to the "You've been hoaxed" page.

Let us know the link :)

Make it real good. Combine major site plans with some "spice" and "chillie" and make sure you have the 'small' 'grey-to-white' text on the bottom; that it is a joke and not real. You might get some guy that gets pissed for wasting 20 minutes reading the site, signing up and than get hit with the hoax message. Maybe that one person might demand what you offered no matter what the 'end' message says..

Or you can say, sorry all of our servers are down and you will be notified when available...?

The 'perfect' newbie request who's been on WHT briefly :

I want:
Unlimited bandwidth and 100Mbs
Unlimited hard drives and space on the drives.
PHP, ASP, JSP, POP3 and POP4, Apache, IIS, Linux, UNIX, FreeVSD, FressBSD and Windoze (I think that is wrong spelling but it is how hosts spell it?!).
I want 24/7 Tech Support by Phone, Fax, ICQ, AOL, MSN, E-mail, >>Telnet<< 'Wall' Talk, 100% secure system. All in English, French, Spanish and German.
100.00% Uptime and $999999999/second if you go down.
MAPs E-mail.
I need free site design for my site which MUST be programmed in ASP, PHP and JSP but the only langauge can be hard-coded SHTML only.
I want to be able to spam 10000000 e-mail addresses a day (which I ripped from the internet). I want no complaints and bullet proof hosting.
I need less than 100s ping and BGP4, and BGP 5 rotating.
I need at least unlimited network providers and more if possible.
I need you to come to my house if my modem or PC breaks.

I want no setup fee.
I want you to pay me $10 for every month I host with you.

I abolutely need all this if you can't provide it your a fraud! and I will report you Mr Gates!

Sound familiar lol.

what about root access???

Originally posted by gnorthey00
I just realized that I should take a picture of my school's iMac lab when I go back this fall: "Server Room"


Oh no no no... Too easy...

I'd say (heck I'll do it tomorrow morning if ya want) edit in the attached photo (Apple Lisa :D) and make a few dozen in the room.

Claim it's a load-balanced Beuowolf cluster capable of handling 30GB/s of throughput.... :D

Sorry to disgrace your data center like this :D :D

My apologies up front :)

Write a funny TOS too.

If you use more than .0000000000000001% of cpu time your accout will be terminated and you will be fined $300 for braking the tos. We do this to keep everyone happy and to ensure everyone gets fair use out of the server.

We do not allow images above 10k, no downloads of anykind, no cgi scripts etc...

here's a list of providers for you

http://www.freewebsiteproviders.com/

;)

I'm not sure whether to say, "This could have been a scam." or "We're unavailable at this time, the Y2K bug has hit us, we'll be back online shortly."


Expect to see the end product in July-Beginning of Aug, projects are moving slowly across my world, and this is low priority.

Originally posted by gnorthey00

My host says it provides SSI, but I have not received my social security check yet [/B]

HA best thing I've heard all day.