Ive decided to go ahead and sign you guys all up for our mass email list. This list will contain 100's of articles on the below subjects, yes you will be guerenteed to recieve at least a 100 articles a day and we do promise each article will be in a different email.
This list will cover every day important issues such as:

1. How to avoid spammers who sign you up for their mass mail list with out your permission.

2. Being subscribed to a mass mail list where you recieve in access of over 100 email a day from it.

3. Being subscribed to a mass mail list that has no value what so ever.

4. Being subscribed to a mass mail list that has no unsubscribe feature, or if it does does not work.

We want you to know that your satisfaction is very important to us, so if at any time you are not satisfied with a article in the list, you can send it back to us within 30 days and we will subscribe you to a additional mass mailing list as no charge, yes thats over 200 emails you will recieve a day AT NO CHARGE.

Should you wish to unsubscribe at any time simply, buy a pepsi bottle or coke bottle, drink it, take a piece of paper, write your email address on it, roll it up, slip it into the bottle of coke or pepsi (must be coke or pepsi), drive down to the local beach, throw it as hard as possible, with any luck we will recieve your request within 10-20 years (granted the wind blows from the NW, and the tide is generally low) our staff of trained monkeys will remove your email address from our mass mailings.

Thank You

humm, sure, no problem .. what's your email address again ? so I can put it on my ingor... I mean "special list"

Hehee... ever heard the term Denial of Service Attack ?

remind me when i get home from work to tell you all about the pager bomb software i wrote and the test run i gave it, much like a mass email... heheh it's a good story. later all.

How will I know when you get home?

I think one of the topics of the mails should be "My Ignore List and Why I Should Never Use It Despite Getting Over 100 Emails a Day From Some Useless Gimp Who Insists on Sending Me Them Under the Guise of an Opt-In Email List That I May Or May Not Have Signed Up For After a Night of Tequila and Women of Virtue Impure." The body of the email could be entirely blank.

hmmm.. interesting proposal.

Damm, my ignore list is now 1 gig of ASCII text ...

Cute post...


...you recieve in access of over 100 email a day from it.

You even incorporated authentic spammer dialect. :D

LOL... have you ever noticed the egregious spelling of most of the spammers?

Maybe you could build a filter based on SpellChecker...

I had to type that in like 30 sec as my gf was about ready to kill me, sorry for the spelling mistakes.

You mean i get something for FREE. Man. CBaker you not the biggest sob Etlux said you were.(jk)

One thing you forgot, your just one person with an email, the board is several thousand. How many email will you recive tommorow hehehe

What can I say I feel bad for anybody still at the webhosting guru level

Alright, that was hitting below the belt, and i think that was a very cheap shot. I will soon be a Master. give me another month and i will.

Deja vu.....:) I think I received an email just like that the other day. :D

Yes guys. Please watch the spelling. I read this forum as a break from grading student papers. As it is now I can barely read the monitor for all the felt-tip marks on the screen.

Gary
(Not entirely true, not entirely false.)

Use the washable kind. Works for me...

Of course what really slows me down is having to erase and remark as the messages scroll up the screen.

Gary
(Not entirely true, not entirely false.)

Actually I am trying to finish a paper this weekend which explains my overpowering interest in the topic of this extremely compelling thread. However, I must run. I think there is discussion on typing with one hand and scratching with the other and can't wait to share my views.

Originally posted by cbaker17
I had to type that in like 30 sec as my gf was about ready to kill me, sorry for the spelling mistakes.

Business is business Charles. Tell her the revenues you'll make from your mass emailing will get her a whole new bunch of clothes and jewellery and cars and whatnot. Just be sure to conveniently ignore the expenses resulting from flame responses and lawsuits and you'll be all good with her.

(Someone tell me why I'm single again?)

John,

You have no money, honey.

hehe.. yea.. you got no money dude... i think you should partner up with charles :)

This is what happens to people with certain unsociable habits.

I would suggest this: http://www.coworkerhints.com/nose.html

Why are you guys intent on killing the messenger :)By the way apparant. most of you are very lonely for if you had girlfriends you would know that any money I make from my mass mailing venture will be spent by her! :)

Charles,

Very fully agreed :D

Since I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago, my bank balance has rejuvenated itself somewhat.

Thats where all my money goes

BC, are you sure its not something else that is increasing your bank balanace? :D

I'm quite sure, unless my bank's somehow registering your fake blood-stained Monopoly money as legitimate....

So your the one who bought the elusive Boardwalk, D#amn you I have Park Place and now I cant build in hotels......

hmm.. whos playing the game? and who's monopoly is it? :)

Originally posted by kunal
BC, are you sure its not something else that is increasing your bank balanace? :D

BC is the marketing genius secretly behind this incredibly lucrative new IPO:

http://www.flatulence-filter.com/

BC, is that true??

Kunal! Would etLux say a thing that was no so? But BC will not reap is foul-smelling rewards for long. Hundreds of firms are rushing to imitate his venture.

Ah.. oh ok.. but I yet wanna know from BC :D Coz i cant trust a Goat man ;)

Kunal, I swear on the dried testicles of my grandfather that I would not deceive you in such a thing.

I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing about your grandfathers body parts, i swear sometimes you go over the edge....

Your poor grand father etLux.

I apologize for mentioning my grandfather.

Originally posted by cbaker17
So your the one who bought the elusive Boardwalk, D#amn you I have Park Place and now I cant build in hotels......


Charles, I'll sell Boardwalk to you for $600 million in Monopoly money, $1500 in real US dollars and maybe a free Linux Pentium III server of yours..

Originally posted by etLux
BC is the marketing genius secretly behind this incredibly lucrative new IPO:

http://www.flatulence-filter.com/

I am indeed behind this lucrative venture. However etLux is responsible for keeping the books balanced.

Is that a bad idea? :D

Keeping the books is not so bad -- but handling the returned merchandise is a killer...