I normally host my own clients on dedicated servers, but I have one client who has specifically asked me to host his newly-developed site with another hosting company.

I called them up and had a funny conversation with their technical guy. Here is how it went:

*******

Me: Do you guys support PHP?

Tech guy: Yeah. PHP is no problem.

Me: And how about databases? Do you run MySQL?

Tech guy: Yeah we have a database.

Me: Ok, but can you run MySQL?

Tech guy: Sure. I can run your sql.

Me: No, I mean *MY* Sql.

Tech guy: Yeah. I can do that for you.

Me: No, I don't mean SQL written by me. I mean "MYSql". MySQL is a database. Do you have MySql?

Tech guy: Uh...hold on...(whispers to someone else on his side) Hey, can we run his sql for him?

*******

I'm not trying to pick on the guy. We got everything figured out eventually, and they do in fact support MYSql at the host in question. I'm just reporting the story here because I found it kind of funny. It never occured to me before how ambiguous this database name is and I wonder how many times I've confused people with its mention.

Jim

Originally posted by jbourke
their technical guy.

Sounds like a department store sales droid :)

He should have picked up straight away though that you were speaking about MySql - after all, it's quite a common term in the hosting industry.


Lats...

lol. A hosters version of tech support/clients from Mars.

Anyone else car to share some humorus stories?

At least it shows that the host in question must be reasonably large, as only the larger web hosts have "sales droids" in my experience. Was this by any chance *****? I remember having a similar conversation with one of their "web hosting specalists" years ago. LOL. ;)

I called a sydney host 1 years ago to see what they were offering and i was told that they cant support me cause im not a user!
convo:

me;Thats why i called the sales department for information about some of your products,

it:Were not permitted to give out such information to non clients.

me:I want to become your client

it:Till then i cant give you information
me: O.k can you put me onto some one that can make me a client

it:" Diverted me back to himself" Hello, ***central Sales, my name is **** how can i help you.

me: I like some information about your hosting services but you will not give it to me would you?

it: Please stop calling this department im not permitted to give you any such information.

me: Can i speak with you manager please,

it: Yes "Diverts me"

manager: Hello blah blah blah

Me: Hi i have been trying to get information about your services im intresting in becoming a client.

manager " Well let me divert you to sales"
me: No No No NO................NO can you please do it for me!
manager: I dont have access from here

Me: Thank you for your time.

I though to my self after getting this shocking service imagine when i need support, they wont be permitted to fix my problem... i understand that companies do have protocols to follow and all that stuff. and staff that cant tell the diffrence between the sales department and accounts!...

Well they never saw even one cent of my money and there is a good reason for that!

:):argue:

Originally posted by jbourke
MySql?

Tech guy: Uh...hold on...(whispers to someone else on his side) Hey, can we run his sql for him?



lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

that is a some funny sh!t!

He smoked crack.

As I have read if you eat 1gm of pure caffeine it is lethal that you will die. :eek:

Originally posted by maxwello
lol. A hosters version of tech support/clients from Mars.

Anyone else car to share some humorus stories?

Well, it's not so much funny as it is strange:
Am I really the only one that has had people come to me for tech support, but they are using another hosting company?

I've had a few conversations that go something like this:
Me: Hello, what can I do for you?
Visitor: Hi, I need some help
Me: Well please describe the problem and I will do my best
Visitor: I can't seem to get my php forums working properly
Me: What is the url to the forums?
Visitor: Well I'm not one of your customers...

Generally I can help them, other times I just tell them to ask their host for help.


Anyone else run into something similar?

Hi,
Yep we've had similar experience.

Me: Hello Thanks For Calling eshore hosting Techical support.
Visitor: Hello, i'm curreVisitor: Hello, i'm currently having access
Visitor: I'm on a dedicated server
Me: We don't offer dedicated servers yet?!? (puzzled now)
Visitor: I know but I though you guys could help me set it up and help me configure it, it does say you offer free technical support!
Me: I'm sorry our free technical support is extended to clients only
Visitor: Thats a bit crap
Me: I am sorry
Visitor: How about i open up an account, you setup my dedicated server and then i cancel my account.
Me: Again i am sorry but our technical support extends to our servers only.
Vistitor: Well thanks a bunch! (telephone hungup)

Oh please god! why me! LOL :)

Thanks

Then there was the lady who called us up and insisted that we screwed up her AOL account with our hosting...because she could no longer dial in to AOL.

I explained to her about fifty zillion times that hosting a domain with us had absolutely NOTHING to do with her AOL account. Her reply "Well, I never had this problem BEFORE I bought a domain name from you guys!". :eek:

--Tina

Way back when, in 1993, I worked for a now-defunct online service called GENie. For some reason, whenever somebody called the 800 directory to find the number for Genie Garage Doors, they would give them our number.

I used to get 5-6 calls a week from people needing help with their garage doors -- and these are the people who made it through the voice-maze asking them to check modem settings etc. While this sounds like it would be simple to get rid of them, some people just would not believe we were not that company. This problem was often exasperated by the fact that people would start off complaining about their "windows".

It got so bad at one point, that one of my co-workers called the garage door company and asked them to fax him a list of basic troubleshooting tips.


GENie had a large gaming population (well, large considering that the maximum size the service ever reached was 300,000 subscribers), and our makreting guy would visit gaming conventions all over the country and pass out sign up disks. Inevitably, after one of his trips, we would get a few calls from people wondering why no music was coming out of the CD they got at the gaming convention :D.

Live Chat at Human Click

Visitor: Your service is a s*** my site has been down for 3 days, you motherf*****, [add cursing here]
Me (scared): what its your domain please?
Visitor: My domain is example.com, bastard and my site has been down for 3 days.
Me: Sir, we don't host your domain.
Visitor: Ouch. (visitor leave live chat)
:D

Did I tell you about the guy who signed up with us, and then CANCELLED his ISP subscription because he thought that once he had a web hosting account, he wouldn't need it anymore. :rolleyes:

Very strange customers you guys get :D

But it seems like the cheaper the plans, the weirder the customers, I'm told. Anyone care to add on to that?

"Tech guy: Uh...hold on...(whispers to someone else on his side) Hey, can we run his sql for him?"


LOL !!!!

Originally posted by avium

But it seems like the cheaper the plans, the weirder the customers, I'm told. Anyone care to add on to that?

Not true, I once supported an account for one of the largest non-profit organizations in the world. Their main office completely controlled the site design, maintenance, and functionality, but I would get calls almost daily from branch offices complaining that this or that had not been updated -- and wondering when I was going to fix it.

I used to be a tech support supervisor for a medium-sized isp. One day an old asian man walked in with his keyboard. He handed it to me and said he wanted me to change his password.

Originally posted by sbrad
One day an old asian man walked in with his keyboard. He handed it to me and said he wanted me to change his password.


LMFAO! Ok, so who's starting TheWebsDumbestCustomers.com?

Just as you dont state a white man, or a jewish man, you should not state an 'Asian' man.
That is not politically correct, dude.

Just as you dont state a white man, or a jewish man, you should not state an 'Asian' man.
Grow up.

Now, this is funny:
A guide to tech support callers (http://bbspot.com/News/2002/02/bitter_guide.html)

Originally posted by IceBlaZe
Just as you dont state a white man, or a jewish man, you should not state an 'Asian' man.
That is not politically correct, dude.

Oh get over it it's said to give a better mental image.

People are entirely too worried about being "politically correct".

Originally posted by sbrad
I used to be a tech support supervisor for a medium-sized isp. One day an old asian man walked in with his keyboard. He handed it to me and said he wanted me to change his password.
ROFLMAO!!! That must be one of the funniest ones I've Heard.

Originally posted by sbrad

Grow up.

I second that notion.:D
I didn't even put into consideration that he was Asian, I just thought the act was freakin funny. Could've been anyone I still would have laughed my ass up.:D

Originally posted by IceBlaZe
Just as you dont state a white man, or a jewish man, you should not state an 'Asian' man.
That is not politically correct, dude.


Alright....


Damnit.. I'm not white, I'm European-American....


Sorry for any other people that might take offense to this, but damn this guy is way to sensitive....

I guess I tried to create a mental image, but failed to explain it well.
It was in Sacramento, which has a huge Asian population (which isn't bad, just a fact).
Anyway, the guy must have been around 80 and could barely speak english.
We thought he must've been returning his keyboard, because this ISP started out several years earlier as a computer shop, and we still had customers that would call, for whatever reason, about the computer they bought from there years back.
So all he could say was, "passa-wud". It took a bit to figure it out.

*Note...I would have happily called him an Asian-American, but I honestly do know know where he held citizenship. Being a hyphenated American implies you are a citizen, no?

**And then there was the news babe I saw on TV a year or so ago who was trying to tell a story about a remarkable black man who was Africa. She couldn't call him black. And she couldn't call him just African. So after a couple of seconds of fumbling, she called him an "African-American African".