i had a domain ... which was registered by my hosting guy i discontinued the hosting with him and he told me i can no longer have my domain back which i think is bogus but he said to read his TOS which i have yet seen man people stoop so low just because i wont continue with their hosting

What his TOS says exactly? Many companies won't give you control over the domain once you suspend your hosting with them. Then it's common that having your domain name and host with the same company is a bad idea.

Another reason why to keep your hosting company and domain registration seperate.