This was received today through an RFQ service we subscribe to. If any of you know where to get this service, let me know!

"A new request for quote was submitted at the ReCellar (www.recellar.com), the resource for web hosting resellers. The RFQ was submitted by <prospective customer> who can be reached at xxx@xxx.xxx. He or she is interested in the following:

unlimitted space
unlimitted hits
unlimitted domains
real audio and video
CGI-PERL
ASP(Optional)

If you offer such services please contact <prospective customer> with your pricing."

It's too bad I won't be able to meet this person's requirements, but unfortunately for him our company operates in reality not FantasyLand. (Although it would be cool to work in FantasyLand...)

(Edited for typos)

come on, if you ever offer this, people will be knocking at your door :)

Sure you can offer all that! Its nothing that an esoteric and ambiguous AUP and TOS can't handle :stickout

Yeah, we get those all the time too from Receller. The REALLY funny ones are the people who include the price they expect to pay. :)

You know, I actually had someone email me about the horrible experience they were having with their current host. Downtime, no support, etc. I sent them a price quote for the same services and they replied "Why so high??? I get that for ALOT cheaper now."

Some people never learn.

--Tina

i will offer what they ask for.
this is the price I charge for that $1,000,000 USD a month paid in advance for 12 months.

I will also throw in 1 domain.


Although this offer is unreal, and anyone stupid enough to take it is also unreal.

Originally posted by TheComputerGuy
I will also throw in 1 domain.


Only 1 domains?! They are asking for unlimited domains!

Originally posted by AffordableHost
[B]Downtime, no support, etc. I sent them a price quote for the same services and they replied "Why so high??? I get that for ALOT cheaper now."

:D

Maybe someone should write a multiple choice quote script where the customer could state if he wants support or not and with a field where he can enter the amount of uptime from 10% to 70%.
:D

Maybe for someone who likes the 'unlimited' term so much, we could offer a little something like this:

===============
You've heard about "unlimited storage". You've even heard about "unlimited bandwidth". Now you too can get 'unlimited downtime' at *No Extra Charge!* That's right - we'll host your site on a Commodore Vic-20 that's not even plugged into the wall - or for a few dollars more we'll host it on dual C64s using 300 Baud VicModems! No limits on downtime whatsoever!

In fact, with this plan we absolutely guarantee 100% downtime or your money back! If our system ever goes up, we will give you a pro-rated refund of your $1.28 monthly hosting bill per day of uptime. Don't be fooled by other hosts promising 99.9% downtime - we use state-of-the-art redundant obsolescence to insure that we are providing consistent "Failure of User Content and Knowledge Delivery" - our proprietary F*CKD technology! Join the thousands of other web site owners who have been F*CKD by our unlimited plan!

Order now and get pre-wait-listed to be pre-considered for pre-registration of a .biz domain name!
================

Sorry, got carried away...

ok maybe unlimited domains, but I will also throw in the unlimited downtime at no charge, and also unlimited non-helpful customer support, and since they are such an important customer, dont get to hyper folks

UNLIMITED NON-USEABLE, NON-REFUNDABLE, NON-RETURNABLE 486 IBM PS/2.

Chris

Originally posted by shpilkus
Maybe for someone who likes the 'unlimited' term so much, we could offer a little something like this:

===============
You've heard about "unlimited storage". You've even heard about "unlimited bandwidth". Now you too can get 'unlimited downtime' at *No Extra Charge!* That's right - we'll host your site on a Commodore Vic-20 that's not even plugged into the wall - or for a few dollars more we'll host it on dual C64s using 300 Baud VicModems! No limits on downtime whatsoever!

In fact, with this plan we absolutely guarantee 100% downtime or your money back! If our system ever goes up, we will give you a pro-rated refund of your $1.28 monthly hosting bill per day of uptime. Don't be fooled by other hosts promising 99.9% downtime - we use state-of-the-art redundant obsolescence to insure that we are providing consistent "Failure of User Content and Knowledge Delivery" - our proprietary F*CKD technology! Join the thousands of other web site owners who have been F*CKD by our unlimited plan!

Order now and get pre-wait-listed to be pre-considered for pre-registration of a .biz domain name!
================

Sorry, got carried away...


You owe me a keyboard. I just laughed so hard I choked on my morning orange juice. Half of it ended up on my keyboard! :)

--Tina

Hey shpilkus, have you ever heared of a company called ***** ? ive heared theyre already doing this offer :D

I forgot to mention the redundant connectivity consisting of not one but TWO dedicated strings with rusty tin cans on BOTH ends!

Sorry 'bout your keyboard, Tina. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to offer this plan...

you know it would be so funny if somebody with more money than sense actually purchased this!

where would you find all the kit? you would have to break into a museum to get some of it!, hah

I've got the Vic-20s and C64s, just have to find some old tin cans and string and I can have my very own NOC! I also have some TI-994/a units, some very advanced Commodore 128s, and even an Amiga in a box somewhere.

www.obsoletehosting.com is available too....

you even have the 300 baud VicModem??

If so if like you to send a piccy over of you holding it !!!

You asked for it, just remember that.

Visit http://www.5dollarhosting.com/commodore for a laugh. Maybe I should register that domain name...

<<Admin edit : errrrrrr..... You can't respond unless someone is directly asking you about your services...>>

Originally posted by shpilkus
You asked for it, just remember that.

Visit http://www.5dollarhosting.com/commodore for a laugh. Maybe I should register that domain name...

Lolz.. that's a lot of work isn't it, it might fool some pples.. try offering this NOC and equipments on eBay, see how much it can fetch..

LOL what a :cool: idea! Maybe you should build a complete hoax and start attracting customers...
Just kidding...

Nah, that's been done. Still being done, in fact.

whatever you do "NOT" take down that site!, thats one of the best ive seen in a long time, the entire department got one hell of a laugh out of that one :-)

Im gonna forward it around.

BC/Chicken/kunal personally im not sure that he is allowed to offer such a good deal in this forum, hes gonna be stealing customers left, right and centre!

You're telling me :D

Btw, considering the rather dynamic and humorous nature of this thread, I've moved it to the GC forum..

Originally posted by shpilkus
You asked for it, just remember that.

Visit http://www.5dollarhosting.com/commodore for a laugh. Maybe I should register that domain name...

ROLF wow. that's cool.
Let us know when you get a customer :rolleyes:

shpilkus


Can I mirror that page??? It's great......

By all means. Think what a great marketing tool it could be for virtually any host out there - "see, Mr. Customer - it could be worse..."

I registered 'obsoletehosting.com' and when I have some spare goof-off time I will flesh it out even more. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get a customer! ;)

Lol... Its great.... id love to see that... see how many people actually attempt to sign up.....

Originally posted by shpilkus
I registered 'obsoletehosting.com' and when I have some spare goof-off time I will flesh it out even more. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get a customer!

One customer? Be warned: you will be swept away with customers knocking on your door "What cool hardware! Dou you also provide unlimited bandwidth?"
:D

Originally posted by shpilkus
By all means. Think what a great marketing tool it could be for virtually any host out there - "see, Mr. Customer - it could be worse..."

I registered 'obsoletehosting.com' and when I have some spare goof-off time I will flesh it out even more. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get a customer! ;)


Oh well.. not problem for getting a customer.. as being supportive for this new business venture, i've decided to be the first customer, pls quote me a price for mine following requirement;

300kb web space
12mb bandwidth/month
Support uploading and publishing of .jpg .gif images files

Reason for my interest in your services is because of the recent increment of my site's popularity/traffic, so i've decided that i should seek a more reliable and capable host.

*i hope my joke doesn't breach the r&r on this forum.. :D *

btw, what are your plans to advertising this business? have you contacted your local press and media regarding your new technology services that's about to unleash?

Originally posted by determinist



Oh well.. not problem for getting a customer.. as being supportive for this new business venture, i've decided to be the first customer, pls quote me a price for mine following requirement;

300kb web space
12mb bandwidth/month
Support uploading and publishing of .jpg .gif images files

Reason for my interest in your services is because of the recent increment of my site's popularity/traffic, so i've decided that i should seek a more reliable and capable host.

*i hope my joke doesn't breach the r&r on this forum.. :D *

300KB is close to the limit - any more and I'll have to punch a hole in the side of the disk and flip it from time to time...where's that darned paper punch...

As for the bandwidth - you can have unlimited bandwidth! After all, there is a fixed amount you can push through a 300 baud VicModem in a month...the only limit is the inherent obsolescence! ;)

Your price is $1.28 per month. We also accept used Atari 2600 cartridges, 2XL tapes, and Rainbow Brite memorabilia. Oh, yeah - we give double space for any Smurfs. Triple if it's Smurfette.